Things that cheer you up

[DavidB6937]

An announcement on the train telling people not to do calls on speaker or play music or videos out loud. And if they dont hsve earphones just to look out of the window and look at the scenery instead.

[Scratch]

My wife was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis just over 20-years ago and it’s pretty much controlled her life ever since.

After years of drugs, tests and disappointments, she was recently put on Infliximab. This morning she had her follow up with her specialist and has been told she’s in remission for the first time.

So that’s cheered us both up tremendously.

For what it’s worth, her new course of drugs costs £24k per year. No wonder the NHS is as fucked as it is.

[Chest Rockwell]

Great news! 

There's definitely a ukff specific joke to be made with the name of her new meds but I'm struggling to connect the dots right now.

[ReturnOfTheMack]

44 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Great news! 

There's definitely a ukff specific joke to be made with the name of her new meds but I'm struggling to connect the dots right now.

You have to take the tablets side on?

 

Or am I mixing up the oddballs?

[TheHighlightReel]

This live feed of some newborn puppies in Finland:

 

https://areena.yle.fi/1-78104441

 

Lost a lot of time to this the last few days.

[Jazzy G]

Vicky and I were out in the car today. As we're driving past a field of cows she just started mooing,. And I moped back. We spent minutes just mooing at each other as we drove down the motorway, then laughing at how silly we both are. The stupidest little things amuse us both so much. 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

12 hours ago, Jazzy G said:

Vicky and I were out in the car today. As we're driving past a field of cows she just started mooing,. And I moped back. We spent minutes just mooing at each other as we drove down the motorway, then laughing at how silly we both are. The stupidest little things amuse us both so much. 

Me and the wife, very early on in our relationship, drove past a field with horses in.

I said 'look, a flock of horses'

She replied 'herd of horses'

So I was very happy to land the line 'of course Ive heard of horses, theres a flock of them in that field'

She nearly chose to crash the car to stop me laughing.

Edited Saturday at 08:15 AM by ReturnOfTheMack

[Jazzy G]

15 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

Me the wife, very early on in our relationship, drove past a field with horses in.

I said 'look, a flock of horses'

She replied 'herd of horses'

So I was very happy to land the line 'of course Ive heard of horses, theres a flock of them in that field'

She nearly chose to crash the car to stop me laughing.

I did that when we were out walking with her and her family. She absolutely knew what I was trying to do, and was trying to talk her way around it, but eventually had no choice. 

The other one I'll do stems from a camping holiday we went on with her family. Her mum's got a camper van, so every time we passed or approached one on the way down I would ask "is that your mum?" I still do it now. I don't get how she's managed to put up with me for two years, let alone wants to marry me. 

[BomberPat]

Definitely adding the herd of horses gag to my repertoire!

My all-time favourite gag is, "I think I'll have the ploughman's lunch - he'll be fuming when he finds out". My ex was fuming every time she inadvertently set me up for that one, which only made it even funnier.

You can also make it work for shepherd's pie, and my brother once managed it with "Colman's mustard", which has led to us trying to figure out what the most ambitious angle you can take on it is - so far, I think it's, "I had the goat's cheese tart for lunch. Well, I didn't see his name on it".

[gmoney]

I always enjoy the old response to people's names Frank Skinner used to do. For example if someone asks "Do you know Theresa May?" you reply "No, but thanks for the tip!"

Doesn't have to be smutty either. "Do you know Lynn Faulds Wood?" "Does she? Wow, seems impossible!"

[wordsfromlee]

39 minutes ago, gmoney said:

I always enjoy the old response to people's names Frank Skinner used to do. For example if someone asks "Do you know Theresa May?" you reply "No, but thanks for the tip!"

Doesn't have to be smutty either. "Do you know Lynn Faulds Wood?" "Does she? Wow, seems impossible!"

Like the old Shooting Stars question:

true or false: Ronnie Wood?

 

[Jazzy G]

I also amuse myself to her consternation with the old "I used to go to school/work/go out with somebody called (street/place/brand name that sounds like it could be somebody's name)" to the point that in the supermarket there was a packet of rosemary cream crackers on the shelf. I walked over to her with the box held so she could read the product name and she just said loudly" DON'T EVEN" as I was giggling to myself. 

[davertfnewman]

2 hours ago, gmoney said:

I always enjoy the old response to people's names Frank Skinner used to do. For example if someone asks "Do you know Theresa May?" you reply "No, but thanks for the tip!"

Doesn't have to be smutty either. "Do you know Lynn Faulds Wood?" "Does she? Wow, seems impossible!"

Better said than written, but he once told the story of a lady coming up to him after a show who said "Your show was verging on the offensive", to which he replied "The only virgin on the offensive here is...".

[Scratch]

4 hours ago, wordsfromlee said:

Like the old Shooting Stars question:

true or false: Ronnie Wood?

 

True or false: Jeremy Irons?

[Carbomb]

2 hours ago, Scratch said:

True or false: Jeremy Irons?

Jeremy's...Iron