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Out-of-context in-jokes


JNLister
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We've all got them. Whether it's with your life partner, sibling, best mate or work friends, there's always that one phrase that you can utter that makes both of you fall apart while everyone looks on baffled. So what's yours and what's the story.

A couple from me and the missus:

"They've got no legs, they've got no arms, they're dying."

In 2008, ITV did its own take on The Apprentice called Natural Born Sellers. As the title suggests, it had a couple of key differences. One was that it was just selling, not any other business task. Another was the format: the winner each week got to choose one of the bottom two to get fired. The same contestant came bottom almost every week but would always be saved because the winner would think it better to get rid off the bigger threat. This guy squeaked his way to the final where he pulled off the biggest upset in reality show history thanks largely to his panic-based and utterly fictional plea to a buyer that "We're selling this to raise money for a kids charity... they've got no legs... they've got no arms... they're dying!"

"Shaving wives at sea"

 My mother-in-law moved in with us for the last couple of years of here life. Obviously we were great, supporting, loving carers, but just sometimes we had to let off a little steam. She was an avid viewer of RNLI lifeboat documentary Saving Wives At Sea. In a horrendous example of gaslighting, it became a running thing to always call it "Shaving wives at sea" and then, whenever she asked what on earth we were doing, completely deny having said the title wrong.

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My dad used to wind up my grandma (my mum's mum) something rotten - casually referring to "Emmerdale Farm" knowing that, without fail, she'd get annoyed and say "It's Emmerdale! It's not been Emmerdale Farm for years!" He'd also sing "We shall meet again", again knowing that, without fail, she'd get annoyed and correct him that it was "We'll meet again".

EDIT: We've got quite a few in-jokes in my family from loads of stuff over the years - if someone mishears something quite drastically, we'll yell "MILTON KEYNES" to follow up, originating from when my great-grandma (who in fairness was already a bit hard of hearing throughout her life) completely misheard a foreign student staying with us who'd said she'd gone to Tunbridge Wells for the day.

Edited by Carbomb
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If my wife or I are offering to make a cup of tea for the other, this dialogue should follow:

"Tea?" "What kind of tea?" "None."

It's from a silly gag involving a Crone in the first episode of Yonderland and it's always stuck with both of us. It's just what we say now. It also applies to cake.

The longest-lasting family one involves having to acknowledge a "TWINGO!" whenever we were on holiday and saw a Renault Twingo. Last one to say it would have to marry the next blue van driver who drove past. You don't get many Twingos in this country compared to France, but damned if I'm marrying that van driver - doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm calling out that Twingo!

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46 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

The longest-lasting family one involves having to acknowledge a "TWINGO!" whenever we were on holiday and saw a Renault Twingo. Last one to say it would have to marry the next blue van driver who drove past. You don't get many Twingos in this country compared to France, but damned if I'm marrying that van driver - doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm calling out that Twingo!

Dad…?

Sans the “marry the next blue van driver” forfeit, my dad would also exclaim “Twingo!” whenever he saw one when we were on holiday in Spain/Mallorca (going back to mid- to late-‘90s here).

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My wife and I instantly shout "Kuenssberg!" whenever Laura Kuenssberg comes on the telly. We might sometimes not even be on the same floor of the house, and I'll hear "Kuenssberg!" from the living room. I don't know why we do this.

I also absolutley cannot help but blow a raspberry whenever my wife bends over to pick something up. I've been told I'm very good at simulating the sound of a proper squeaker, and aven after 23 years, she still laughs (thankfully).

My best friend of 39 years and I have several, but I know I can text him the name "Trodder" at any time, and he'll always respond with "I'm blind!", which comes from some poor bloke who used to be on the CB radio when we were kids. We'll also both use the term "We're running out of elephants!" if something is getting in short supply, which comes from Mega Lo Mania on the Atair ST whereby one of the gods had a slight speech impediment and would exclaim that they were runing out of elements. We also push our top lip upwards to our gums and say "Cat meat" at each other. Again, I don't know why.

 

Edited by scratchdj
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A few years ago I was out with a mate when I let one go. The smell was beyond fucking description and I am pretty confident that for the only time in history a single fart stopped play on five seperate pool tables.

This necessitated a pair of fire doors to be opened and a deodorant to be liberally sprayed.

As the clean up operation was in place my mate said:

"Fuck sake Shuggy, even the Japs had mercy"

which is now our go to comment whenever something smells off.

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8 minutes ago, scratchdj said:

We'll also both use the term "We're running out of elephants!" if something is getting in short supply, which comes from Mega Lo Mania on the Atair ST whereby one of the gods had a slight speech impediment and would exclaim that they were runing out of elements. 

I've used a fair few from Mega-Lo-Mania over the years, calling the family down for dinner with "The dinner's veddy", or, if there's something final, "IT'S ALL OVER". I even managed to get a "TOWER CRITICAL!" in when we were playing Jenga.

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19 minutes ago, Your Fight Site said:

Dad…?

Sans the “marry the next blue van driver” forfeit, my dad would also exclaim “Twingo!” whenever he saw one when we were on holiday in Spain/Mallorca (going back to mid- to late-‘90s here).

Clearly one of us was the secret second family...

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11 minutes ago, WyattSheepMask said:

The Wife and I have taken to watching Channel 4 News over the last 18months or so and sing “I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News. I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News, I’m Jon Snow...” in time with the theme music with a dramatic “HERE’S THE NEWS” at the finish

This is fantastic and something I will be doing from now on.

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I've never grown up to be honest. 

Me & a friend had running joke that another friend is obsessed with gammon, because he once complained he was short of money on a holiday and then ordered the most expensive meal of the group with gammon & chips. 

On a couple of occasions when he's been the topic of conversation with other people a comment about him loving gammon drops in there to general bemusement beyond us. It's still the thing I first think of about him now and it's been 15 years. 

 

There's also saying "sorry about that" to any or all sharp sudden noise like a car or train horn. 

Not an in joke to anyone but me, myself and I but I always sing "mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed PO-TAY-TO" like Bader did whenever I make mash. 

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