Paid Members JNLister Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 We've all got them. Whether it's with your life partner, sibling, best mate or work friends, there's always that one phrase that you can utter that makes both of you fall apart while everyone looks on baffled. So what's yours and what's the story. A couple from me and the missus:"They've got no legs, they've got no arms, they're dying." In 2008, ITV did its own take on The Apprentice called Natural Born Sellers. As the title suggests, it had a couple of key differences. One was that it was just selling, not any other business task. Another was the format: the winner each week got to choose one of the bottom two to get fired. The same contestant came bottom almost every week but would always be saved because the winner would think it better to get rid off the bigger threat. This guy squeaked his way to the final where he pulled off the biggest upset in reality show history thanks largely to his panic-based and utterly fictional plea to a buyer that "We're selling this to raise money for a kids charity... they've got no legs... they've got no arms... they're dying!""Shaving wives at sea" My mother-in-law moved in with us for the last couple of years of here life. Obviously we were great, supporting, loving carers, but just sometimes we had to let off a little steam. She was an avid viewer of RNLI lifeboat documentary Saving Wives At Sea. In a horrendous example of gaslighting, it became a running thing to always call it "Shaving wives at sea" and then, whenever she asked what on earth we were doing, completely deny having said the title wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) My dad used to wind up my grandma (my mum's mum) something rotten - casually referring to "Emmerdale Farm" knowing that, without fail, she'd get annoyed and say "It's Emmerdale! It's not been Emmerdale Farm for years!" He'd also sing "We shall meet again", again knowing that, without fail, she'd get annoyed and correct him that it was "We'll meet again". EDIT: We've got quite a few in-jokes in my family from loads of stuff over the years - if someone mishears something quite drastically, we'll yell "MILTON KEYNES" to follow up, originating from when my great-grandma (who in fairness was already a bit hard of hearing throughout her life) completely misheard a foreign student staying with us who'd said she'd gone to Tunbridge Wells for the day. Edited August 10, 2021 by Carbomb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Dont know how or when it started but without fail when there is fireworks, I will tell my ex it is because it is Diwali, regardless of the time of year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 10, 2021 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 10, 2021 If my wife or I are offering to make a cup of tea for the other, this dialogue should follow: "Tea?" "What kind of tea?" "None." It's from a silly gag involving a Crone in the first episode of Yonderland and it's always stuck with both of us. It's just what we say now. It also applies to cake. The longest-lasting family one involves having to acknowledge a "TWINGO!" whenever we were on holiday and saw a Renault Twingo. Last one to say it would have to marry the next blue van driver who drove past. You don't get many Twingos in this country compared to France, but damned if I'm marrying that van driver - doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm calling out that Twingo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 46 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said: The longest-lasting family one involves having to acknowledge a "TWINGO!" whenever we were on holiday and saw a Renault Twingo. Last one to say it would have to marry the next blue van driver who drove past. You don't get many Twingos in this country compared to France, but damned if I'm marrying that van driver - doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm calling out that Twingo! Dad…? Sans the “marry the next blue van driver” forfeit, my dad would also exclaim “Twingo!” whenever he saw one when we were on holiday in Spain/Mallorca (going back to mid- to late-‘90s here). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Thesz Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 A few years ago I was out with a mate when I let one go. The smell was beyond fucking description and I am pretty confident that for the only time in history a single fart stopped play on five seperate pool tables. This necessitated a pair of fire doors to be opened and a deodorant to be liberally sprayed. As the clean up operation was in place my mate said: "Fuck sake Shuggy, even the Japs had mercy" which is now our go to comment whenever something smells off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 8 minutes ago, scratchdj said: We'll also both use the term "We're running out of elephants!" if something is getting in short supply, which comes from Mega Lo Mania on the Atair ST whereby one of the gods had a slight speech impediment and would exclaim that they were runing out of elements. I've used a fair few from Mega-Lo-Mania over the years, calling the family down for dinner with "The dinner's veddy", or, if there's something final, "IT'S ALL OVER". I even managed to get a "TOWER CRITICAL!" in when we were playing Jenga. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 10, 2021 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 10, 2021 19 minutes ago, Your Fight Site said: Dad…? Sans the “marry the next blue van driver” forfeit, my dad would also exclaim “Twingo!” whenever he saw one when we were on holiday in Spain/Mallorca (going back to mid- to late-‘90s here). Clearly one of us was the secret second family... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 A few other scamps and myself are fond of gaslighting an entire wrestling forum into thinking the Japanese legend Musawa actually spells it Misawa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CavemanLynn Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Whenever someone says they've been given a (metaphorical) heart attack, the wife and I shake our fist at the ceiling and growl "BUCHANAN." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 The Wife and I have taken to watching Channel 4 News over the last 18months or so and sing “I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News. I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News, I’m Jon Snow...” in time with the theme music with a dramatic “HERE’S THE NEWS” at the finish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 11 minutes ago, WyattSheepMask said: The Wife and I have taken to watching Channel 4 News over the last 18months or so and sing “I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News. I’m Jon Snow, here’s the News, I’m Jon Snow...” in time with the theme music with a dramatic “HERE’S THE NEWS” at the finish This is fantastic and something I will be doing from now on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 10, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 10, 2021 I've never grown up to be honest. Me & a friend had running joke that another friend is obsessed with gammon, because he once complained he was short of money on a holiday and then ordered the most expensive meal of the group with gammon & chips. On a couple of occasions when he's been the topic of conversation with other people a comment about him loving gammon drops in there to general bemusement beyond us. It's still the thing I first think of about him now and it's been 15 years. There's also saying "sorry about that" to any or all sharp sudden noise like a car or train horn. Not an in joke to anyone but me, myself and I but I always sing "mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed PO-TAY-TO" like Bader did whenever I make mash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 12 minutes ago, Tommy! said: Not an in joke to anyone but me, myself and I but I always sing "mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed potato, mashed PO-TAY-TO" like Bader did whenever I make mash. But everyone does that, don’t they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pork Pie Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Because of this forum I have one that only I understand, leaving those around me to think I'm just a bit mental. It's something to do with quiche Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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