DavidB6937 Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 The fact that this topic is even still here and open kinda goes against all the "popular poster" shit. That they rule this forum and fuck everyone else. This is still here, open and allowing debate. Even if some disagree with it. On the whole this is a really reasonable place where people do discuss things rather than just being dismissive. The "popular poster" shit is a load of rubbish really. It's an internet forum that has existed for a very long time. You're going to get people who know each other better. You're going to get posters who offer more to the forum than others. But others are rarely discouraged from posting. Only way you get to feel part of something is by taking part in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 Those posters are popular for a reason. They've contributed strongly, intelligently and with good humour across the whole forum. They're not arrogant or bullies, they're the real moderators of the forum whether they've got the title or not. Butch, Keith, D-Mal and Frankie are names in particular I see from time to time being accused of bullying or piling on. That's utter bullshit. Those that have been here as long as I have generally have great respect for them, because or their good nature and integrity. The negative awards serve a positive purpose, and should be taken with the good humour that's intended. As mentioned, anyone put up for one of these awards has been told about their posting behaviour. If they react badly to that, then this forum isn't for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members quote the raven Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 I was nominated years ago. My posting had become erratic and I was struggling with my sons disability. However at no point did I post about it or let anyone here know. That’s kinda on me. If I was being a dick here then I was probably being a dick to everyone. Random faceless people pointing it out was a bit of a wake up call.  As for bullying, maybe harsh disagreement is better as someone that admittedly voted Tory I was subject to a shit ton of abuse. From being told I was a baby killer to being personally responsible for nurses dying. While uncalled for it never seeped into other topics I posted in.  This place has always been a bear pit but it’s moved on from wishing cancer on people.  The mental health thread. The rounding on the nonces and the autism thread are shining examples of how this place works when it needs to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 The forum still gets accused of being cliq-y and run by the cool kids. But as Butch pointed out it hasn't actually been the case for a long time. I think the point here though is that someone want's a long standing, user favourite feature scrapping to help their needs. It's similar to the poster who gets arsey with people if a "fact" is not 100% accurate in a post, then blames it on their Asperger's when challenged. If an online forum or fake "award" can trigger your condition, then maybe an online forum isn't for you until you gets things under control? 99% of posters on these forum seem like cracking people. You have Butch, Devon and Lion, all of who's post I look forward to reading when I see them in the cricket thread, add to those Tiger Rick, Bacon Max Power and Keith in the Football thread. I really wish I had more to post, so I could join in more!  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 45 minutes ago, Cod Eye said: I think the point here though is that someone want's a long standing, user favourite feature scrapping to help their needs. That's a bit harsh. I think while drawing on his own experience to speak from an informed position, RedRooster's been quite clear about his concern for others in all this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinc Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 52 minutes ago, Cod Eye said: I think the point here though is that someone want's a long standing, user favourite feature scrapping to help their needs. It's similar to the poster who gets arsey with people if a "fact" is not 100% accurate in a post, then blames it on their Asperger's when challenged. If an online forum or fake "award" can trigger your condition, then maybe an online forum isn't for you until you gets things under control? Bloody hell what a terrible take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, Uncle Zeb said: That's a bit harsh. I think while drawing on his own experience to speak from an informed position, RedRooster's been quite clear about his concern for others in all this. You're right, Zeb. That didn't come out the way I wanted it to. My point still stands though. If a user is going to have their condition triggered by something on a wrestling forum, then it would be wise to take a step back until they are in a better position. I mean, I'm virtually fully (physically)crippled now. A major part of what kept me going was attending things like cricket and football matches. But I was always in mega-pain when I got home, so decided that going to those events were not worth the pain for what I was getting out of them. Same thing here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Hannibal Scorch Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 On 8/15/2020 at 10:33 AM, RedRooster said: The thing is though, that everyone’s experience of mental health is different and it’s not particularly safe to say ‘it wouldn’t have bothered me, so...’ While that obviously works two ways, I don’t think it’s breaking news to say that for a lot of people dealing with mental health issues it’s hard to rationalise things in the way that you suggest, and if you have low self worth, having people vote in a public poll to confirm your worst fears could be quite damaging. In a world where a bad day at work and abuse from strangers can trigger downward spirals or episodes of self-harm, I don’t think it’s a stretch to suggest that this could be damaging to someone. This was me. I didn't realise I was in a bad place mentally at the time. I had never really had depression or anxiety and this place didn't create it, that was outside issues, but it made it worse. And because I had been visiting this place since 2002ish very regularly, I found it hard to take a break. I accused people of bullying me. I have apologised, and some people have accepted it, others haven't. I don't agree with them being scrapped. But I would suggest that if people will be upset, or potentially triggered by being nominated in the negative awards, maybe one way of not making it so public is to not tag them in the nominations/wins? This would have absolutely upset me some years ago, and it really did. It was unfortunate that was going on when I had a lot of other mental health issues, some are still there, but I think I have a better understanding/control now to cope. Or the only other way to do it is to move Negative awards to Paid Members only, and maybe that would boost numbers?   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB6937 Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 58 minutes ago, Cod Eye said: 99% of posters on these forum seem like cracking people. You have Butch, Devon and Lion, all of who's post I look forward to reading when I see them in the cricket thread, add to those Tiger Rick, Bacon Max Power and Keith in the Football thread. I really wish I had more to post, so I could join in more! Â That's how I feel a lot of the time. There's so many great posts that I enjoy reading. There's a lot more knowledgeable people than I, and I just enjoy learning and laughing. It's a great place for that. I think sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in what you 'want' to be online, and there's some weird jealousy that goes around on social media etc. But I use this place because I genuinely think it has some fantastic, insightful content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cod Eye said: If a user is going to have their condition triggered by something on a wrestling forum, then it would be wise to take a step back until they are in a better position. I mean, I'm virtually fully (physically)crippled now. A major part of what kept me going was attending things like cricket and football matches. But I was always in mega-pain when I got home, so decided that going to those events were not worth the pain for what I was getting out of them. Same thing here... The thing is, with mental health, the 'wise' decision isn't always easy (or even possible) to take. It can be compulsive, even if it is clearly harmful. And questioning things that can cause harm is absolutely a valid and fair conversation to have. Responding to any suggestions of changes with what amounts to 'hey, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen' isn't particularly constructive. I'd agree with Butch that the last year or so has been about the smoothest and friendliest that I've seen this forum, as we all move towards middle/pension age and mellow in our dotage. Personally, I think there's still a space for the negative awards, and now the punishments no longer exist, it doesn't amount to much more than pointing out a 'cop on'. However, I'm aware what a lifeline this place can be for some people, and there can be connections in here that are lacking elsewhere. So if it's potentially driving people away, that's an issue too. If there was a vote, I'd vote to keep them, but I wouldn't be upset if that option lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said: This was me. I didn't realise I was in a bad place mentally at the time. I had never really had depression or anxiety and this place didn't create it, that was outside issues, but it made it worse. And because I had been visiting this place since 2002ish very regularly, I found it hard to take a break. I accused people of bullying me. I have apologised, and some people have accepted it, others haven't. I don't agree with them being scrapped. But I would suggest that if people will be upset, or potentially triggered by being nominated in the negative awards, maybe one way of not making it so public is to not tag them in the nominations/wins? This would have absolutely upset me some years ago, and it really did. It was unfortunate that was going on when I had a lot of other mental health issues, some are still there, but I think I have a better understanding/control now to cope. Or the only other way to do it is to move Negative awards to Paid Members only, and maybe that would boost numbers?   This would have made it worse when I was struggling. I've always been quite paranoid anyway, but when I was in the depths of my depression the paranoia was as debilitating as my physical problems. It would have drove me mad checking all the time to see if I'd been nominated. At least if I knew the "winners" were tagged, I knew I would just have to wait for the notification. I'm glad this conversation has cropped up though, as I think there needs to be something done to help posters that are struggling. As you have said, when checking the forum and posting is part of your routine, it's nigh on impossible to stop. I wonder if the mods would be willing to have a system of some kind where someone is allocated a position where one of them(or any trusted user)as the designated mental health "contact", and give them the ability to remove a users posting rights for a few weeks if they request it(rather than an out and out ban or the usual "just stop posting")?  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Blog Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 Just to offer up my thoughts, when I first signed up on here I had also been a lurker for a good few years so I had a good idea of who was who. I never frequented any forums before this so in many ways I had no idea on what to expect. I think it takes any new poster time to find their feet and build their confidence in regards to posting. I will admit to being a bit intimidated when first posting due in part to not really feeling I had much to add or at really knowing how to get my personality across. The talk of the 'cool kids' is a nonsense for me, I was very much aware of who Butch, Keith, Devon, Rick, Ian, Bomber but viewed them as long standing forum members as opposed to a cliq of bully boys. Out of all of them I struck up a somewhat relationship with Keith and we even shared some PM's. In my opinion Keith is one of the kindest most compassionate posters on here who will lend his support to any that need it, seek out his posts in the 'Mental Health' and 'Speaking Out' thread if you need proof. I never had many interactions with Butch aside from a few upvotes passed between us and it wasn't until he posted about golf that I felt the need to speak directly to him, unsurprisingly his response was one of gratitude. I wouldn't say we are mates but I certainly like Butch and this forum would be a lesser place without him. I have built relationships with other members of the forum as well who I get on well with and often find myself in complete agreement with their views. I think like any place you will always feel like the new guy for a while and with that comes some hesitation about approaching the longer standing members or the very popular ones, like much in life though you will often find them to be lovely people (there is usually a reason that they are well liked and popular that has fuck all to do with 'cliq's') As far as the awards go I am fairly neutral, I vote in them but I will leave categories blank if I can't think of a reason for the vote. I think I voted MPDDT as dolt last year for his non stop championing of AEW and his brazen support of the tories. That didn't stop me sincerely wishing him well when I found out that he was expecting his first child. The votes are much of a muchness really. I mean I didn't get upset when I got a few 'failed comedian' nominations, due in large to knowing I am actually hilarious and the people who nominated me are dead inside. I love this forum and will continue to enjoy it regardless of negative votes. I highly doubt I will ever meet any of you in real life so there is always a nice buffer that helps you switch off.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Cod Eye said: I wonder if the mods would be willing to have a system of some kind where someone is allocated a position where one of them(or any trusted user)as the designated mental health "contact", and give them the ability to remove a users posting rights for a few weeks if they request it(rather than an out and out ban or the usual "just stop posting")? That's quite a lot of responsibility to place on people. A quick example of how that could go wrong: A poster is dealing with a mental health crisis and requests to remove posting rights. The poster then dies from suicide. Was agreeing to remove the posting rights just removing their ability to ask for help in the mental health thread or similar? I think it puts people into too much of a position of wondering if they did the right thing. And that's tough for mental health professionals, let alone a bunch of dicks on a wrestling forum. Edited August 17, 2020 by Chris B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 6 minutes ago, Chris B said: The thing is, with mental health, the 'wise' decision isn't always easy (or even possible) to take. It can be compulsive, even if it is clearly harmful. And questioning things that can cause harm is absolutely a valid and fair conversation to have. Responding to any suggestions of changes with what amounts to 'hey, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen' isn't particularly constructive. I'd agree with Butch that the last year or so has been about the smoothest and friendliest that I've seen this forum, as we all move towards middle/pension age and mellow in our dotage. Personally, I think there's still a space for the negative awards, and now the punishments no longer exist, it doesn't amount to much more than pointing out a 'cop on'. However, I'm aware what a lifeline this place can be for some people, and there can be connections in here that are lacking elsewhere. So if it's potentially driving people away, that's an issue too. If there was a vote, I'd vote to keep them, but I wouldn't be upset if that option lost. I did admit, I didn't word it right in my original post. It's not a case of if you don't like it, fuck off somewhere else. It's more like, if something is not healthy for you, then wouldn't it be wise to minimise that thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted August 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 17, 2020 Again, if you're struggling with mental health, making 'wise' decisions isn't straightforward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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