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mikehoncho

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VICELAND The Wrestlers S#01 E#07 - The Craziest Wrestling In Japan.

Focus on the DDT promotion; it's bonkers.

Addition:  Ibushi & Omega also get a fair crack of video time.

Addition:  Takagi's wife is SMOKIN' hot.

Edited by Arthur B. Funky
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I don't know why this has come out bold and why it won't unbold, fucking forum.

Starrcade 1990 then. 14 matches and a tag team tournament again. GREAT.

But at least Beautiful Bobby’s kicking things off against the Z Man, who is allegedly on a 35 match win streak. Sure. Zenk was fucking hopeless, Bobby has to audibly tell him what to do at one point. Bobby drags him to a good match though and then ends The Streak with a roll-up after Zenk misses a top rope dropkick.

Then there’s a bloody flag parade for this sodding tag tournament. The trophy is MASSIVE.

South Africa (Col. DeKlerk and Sgt. Krueger) versus USA (The Steiners) kick things off. One of the South Africans (it’s Rocco Rock I later found out!) tries a flip over the top rope, lands right on his fucking head and Rick laughs at him and so did I. This lasts about 2 minutes, guess who won.

GB (Norman Smiley(!) and Chris Adams) vs Mexico (Fucking KONNAN and Rey Misterio, presumably dad Misterio) now. Mexico wins after a messy but decent match. Misterio tries a flip over the top rope AFTER the pinfall and misses completely and hurts himself. What a div.

New Zealand (Rip Morgan and oh great Jack(o) Victory) vs Japan (Mr. Saito and The Great Muta) next. Morgan looks like he’s turning direction the wrong way when he rides the ropes. He’s fucking awful. Muta wins with a bridged German which Victory looked like he’d kicked out but nobody cares.

Mexico North vs Russia now, four guys I don’t know and I’m already losing the will to live. One of these Russians is hairier than Prince Albert. The hairier Russkie drops the fatter Canadian on his head with a belly to belly. I’ve no idea what happens at the end of this, there’s either a pin or submission but Russia won anyway. 

Red Rooster vs IRS now. Whoopee! It’s the usual Rotunda / Wallstreet / IRS match, complete with abdominal stretch holding the top rope. Wallstreet wins, what next.

Big Cat and Motor City Madman are teaming up now. Oh the Skyscrapers are back together! Sid, once again, gets a GREAT reception. Sid pins Madman after a double powerbomb in about 90 seconds. That’ll do! Then they threaten Heyman. Even better!

More tagging! Rich and Ricky (with Robert on crutches) against the Freebirds now. Now you’re talking. Quality little match as expected, Garvin gets rolled up when choking his roadie. Ooh!

STAN HANSEN cuts a cracking promo about his upcoming Texas Lariat match. He really was underrated on the mic.

More Steiners! The semi of this stupid tournament now, and they’re fighting the Mexicans. Konnan’s limping, so the stupid twat leaps over the top rope into the ring. Rick gets the pin in a squash with a pop-up powerbomb!

Russia vs Japan now. This may well be horrible. Actually, this wasn’t too bad, some cracking suplexes and Japan wins! Shock! Why bother with all those fucking matches to get to the final we all knew we were getting?

Luger vs Hansen now! A nice strap match full of two big twats battering each other, quality stuff. The ending is a typical WCW mess but Luger regains the title after a ref bump even though Stan's initially declared the winner.

Doom vs Arn and Barry is also a great brawl for the world tag titles. It doesn't last very long but long enough for everyone to do some blading. Another crap ending with a double pin, after which they beat each other up some more.

USA then beat Japan. I can't believe it! This wasn't as good a match as I was hoping but it wasn't bad, as you'd expect with the Steiners involved.

And finally the steel cage match between Sting and the Black ScorpionAnd yeah, it's Ric Flair, what a shocker. A few things here. Firstly, the absolute madness of a world title feud where one of the participants is a complete unknown. How did they get away with this even in 1990? This is a truly boring match too although Flair does great by hitting moves quite differently to his usual. Dick the Bruiser adds absolutely nothing as ref, why the fuck did they choose him.

God, can the next Starrcade just be a normal event with less than a million matches.

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I’ll always have a bit of a soft spot for Starrcade 90, even though it’s mostly shite, just because it was the first WCW video I got after living on Worldwide previously. 

And sorry Devon, but Starrcade doesn’t really get normal until about 1993 as the next two have that silly Lethal Lottery gimmick. 

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Heroes of Wrestling. 

I'd heard about it, but finally got round to seeing it. 

Most of it was like a poor episode of Nitro, but obviously the most famous part, the final match, is exactly the train wreck I expected. 

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Bash of the Beach 95.

i wont do a report as Wandshogun and Devon do a lot better, but if you need to watch a show to pick you up a bit watch this. Its on the Beach, features Sting v Meng in a great opener, grumpy Mr Wonderful v Renegade, Duggan v Kamala, DDP, Nastys, Macho, Flair. Its such a colourfull PPV, easy watch. Heenan and Tony on commentary. Sherri, Harlem Heat. Sherri is so good, best female performer of all time.

A few sorts in bikinis in the crowd to for chaps.

Edited by Porkchopcash
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Cara Noir vs Pac from Riptide (On their Youtube)

Never seen Cara Noir before (I don't keep up to date on indies as much anymore) and they were very impressive, from the extravagant entrance to their wrestling. Pac is, as always, fucking great.

A really excellent match. Will definitely be keeping an eye out for Cara in the future.

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Back on this WCW thing. 

Clash Of The Champions 24

August 18th 1993

Daytona Beach, Florida 

We open the show with Schiavone informing us that Flyin’ Brian is injured, their scheduled title defence against the Horsemen is in doubt. We cut to a promo from the Hollywood Blondes and Pillman is on crutches with his leg in a cast. They’re acting all disappointed but it’s all so brilliantly disingenuous. 

Austin says - ”The Blondes are in Daytona Beach and these champions won’t be clashing but, uh, Arn and Roma, maybe sometime down the road we can fit you in. Tonight was supposed to be your big shot and we apologise for that. But like I said, your time may come later.”

All the while, both of them are smirking and trying to fight off laughing. The cocks. 

But WCW demanded that the titles be defended, so Lord Steven Regal will fill in for Pillman. 

Stunning Steve Austin & Lord Steven Regal (c) vs Arn Anderson & Paul Roma - WCW & NWA World Tag Team Titles

Jesse is furious that the Blondes’ belts are up for grabs here given the situation. Every time I see these Horsemen matches from 93, I just imagine what it could’ve been with Tully Blanchard in Roma’s place instead. How good could a Brain Busters vs Hollywood Blondes series have been?! OK, Tully as a babyface would’ve been weird but it surely would’ve been much better than what we got. Whatever. Enough with the Jim Bowen ‘let’s see what you could’ve had’ bollocks. This is a pretty tidy match. And the novelty of seeing Austin and Regal as a team is cool. They gel nicely too. But it’s all for nowt in the end. The Horsemen win the titles when Sir William gets on the apron and Austin runs into him, allowing Double A to schoolboy him with a handful of tights for the win. New champs. Good match. 

2 Cold Scorpio vs Beautiful Bobby Eaton

This was meant to be Scorpio vs Regal but obviously the card was reshuffled due to Pillman’s injury and here we are. Pretty good little match as you’d expect from these two. Always amazes me how Eaton is so deceptively smooth and graceful in his movement. Especially for a man with the same physique as my Uncle Roy, who gets winded tying his shoelaces. Anyway, yeah, decent enough match given they only had 5 or so minutes. 2 Cold gets the win with the 450 splash. 

Johnny B Badd vs Maxx Payne - Mask vs Norma Jean

Yeah, that’s not a typo. Norma Jean isn’t a person used as a silly stipulation, like Judy Bagwell or something. Norma Jean is what Maxx Payne named his guitar. Yeah. So it’s Mask vs Guitar. If you give a bollocks. No? Don’t blame you. Can’t believe how long they’ve persisted with this. This feud has gone on most of the year. Surely this is the blowoff. Surely. Thankfully they keep it short and Badd wins in about 2 minutes. Badd then does an interview saying he’s going to unmask himself on Saturday Night. Rendering the whole premise of this crappy match pointless. Not that there’d ever be a point to a Johnny B Badd vs Max Payne match. These 2 better not have have another match on the next show. Just stop now, please, that’s quite enough. 

It’s time for ‘A Flair For The Gold’ next. Sting and British Bulldog are Flair’s guests. They’re here to talk about War Games at next month’s Fall Brawl event. Bulldog is screaming about something or other. That brings out Col Parker, Sid and Harlem Heat for more shouting. It’s then that Sting and Davey Boy decide to drop a bombshell. They have a surprise partner for War Games that Sting says is going to “SHOCK THE WORLD”. Oh. It’s...it’s THAT Flair For The Gold. 

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The Shockmaster arrives. And, as Davey Boy observantly points out, falls right on his fookin’ arse. What else is left to say about this? 

Oh, Shockmaster’s ‘voice’ though. It was Ole Anderson wasn’t it? Very Black Scorpion-esque. And it’s fucking laughably terrible. 

Paul Orndorff (c) vs Ricky Steamboat - WCW World Television Title

Tony and Jesse are still audibly trying to stifle pissing themselves laughing about the Shockmaster falling on his fookin’ arse during the entrances here. How do these guys follow that? Even for Mr Wonderful and The Dragon, that’s a tough act to follow. This match gets the Michael Buffer intro treatment. Chants of ‘Paula’ have Orndorff enraged. It’s a decent match this, if a little bit short. 

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The action here is good but right when I was just starting to really get into it, it ended. Steamboat wins the gold with a reversal into a pin off an Orndorff slam. A new TV champion is crowned. 

Post-match, Orndorff is bloody furious and attacks Steamboat, piledriving him on the belt. This isn’t over between these two. 

Sting & Ric Flair vs Colossal Kongs

What an odd match. I’ve got very vague memories of the Kongs from some squash matches on Worldwide from this timeframe. Just remember them as two big fat fucks in masks. 

Yep...

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Highlight of this whole thing is the promo Harley Race cuts on Flair before the match. Shame he was saddled with this load of wank but Race’s voice is the best. 

Match itself goes about 2 minutes with Sting slamming them both straight away, pretty much killing them off right out the gate. Flair fucks about with one of the Kongs while Sting hits a big splash off the top on the other one for the win. 

They do an interview after, talking about an upcoming match they’re going to have against each other on Saturday Night. It’s all respectful babyface talk and, for once, I actually don’t think there was a double cross from Flair in this instance. 

Dustin Rhodes & ??? vs Ravishing Rick Rude & The Equalizer

Rude calls the crowd a bunch of “Daytona dirtbags” before the hip swivelling begins. Dustin’s got a mystery partner here. Hopefully it’s not fucking Tugboat falling arse over tit through some plasterboard again. It’s not. A car drives out and out steps Roadwarrior Animal! But it’s a swerve. It’s not going to be Animal. Which I knew because this was in that period where he was out with the back injury collecting the old Lloyd’s Of London (LOL). I also know it’s not Animal because I’ve already looked at the card and seen who it is. 

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It’s Hawk. What A Rush! Don’t really get the point of the Animal bit there but whatever. Big ‘LOD’ chants from the crowd. They’re big into Hawk being back here. The match is a bit shitty though. Starts off alright with Hawk and Rude doing the old test of strength spots but it descends into a bit of a shambles towards the end. Rhodes and Hawk come out on top when Dustin pins Equalizer. 

Big Van Vader (c) vs British Bulldog - WCW World Heavyweight Title

Bulldog’s getting a second crack at Vader’s belt here, after failing to win the title back at Slamboree. It makes sense though as Bulldog pinned Vader clean in the tag team main event at Beach Blast. We get the Buffer intros again. And for this one, if Vader gets disqualified he loses the belt. They start the match on the ramp and Davey hits that delayed vertical suplex on the ramp! 

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Christ. 

Back in the ring and Vader turns the tide and beats Davey Boy down for a bit. They have a really enjoyable battle with both hitting high impact power moves all over the shop. Bulldog even gets him up for a big Samoan Drop. Thought this was better than their Slamboree match. Vader wins and retains the title in around 10 minutes when Bulldog tries for another vertical suplex and Race trips him, causing Vader to fall on top for the 3 count. 

As the show is about ready to finish up, Cactus Jack appears. He’s finally found his way out of Cleveland! He attacks Vader on the ramp as the show goes off the air. 

So-so show really. Mostly cack, to be honest. Some decent stuff on there but it never really had that one killer match. The Shockmaster thing is what it’s most remembered for. Vader vs Bulldog is worth a look though if you haven’t seen it. 

Fall Brawl is up next. 

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Fall Brawl 

September 19th 1993 

Houston, Texas 

As you can see there, Hawk was meant to be in the War Games main event. Doesn’t quite go down that way though...

Usual opening waffle from Tone and Jess. With Jesse talking about all these “Texicans” in Houston and something about always being ready for combat. 

Ricky Steamboat (c) vs Lord Steven Regal - WCW World Television Title

This is a cracking match and a really strong way to open up the show. Story is Steamboat’s ribs are hurt after Regal attacked him and gave him a sound thrashing on Saturday Night. So The Dragon is out for revenge. Wiki says they went 17 minutes but it didn’t feel like it. It absolutely flew by. 

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They just gelled so well. By far the best match I’ve seen of Regal’s yet on this run. Crowd was a bit dead though. End comes when Sir William gives Steamboat a whack with his cane and Regal hits a bridging German suplex for the pin. 

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Lord Steven Regal, new TV champion. 

The Nasty Boys have arrived in WCW. And already they’re challenging The Horsemen for the straps later on. They cut a rambling interview promising a surprise later. Maybe they’re going to have a bath. 

Charlie Norris vs Big Sky 

Deary me. First PPV appearance for both. They’d both debuted fairly recently on WCW TV.

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Norris comes out in full Native American garb. Guessing he’s meant to be WCW’s answer to Tatanka, who was popular in the WWF at this time.

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Big Sky looks like all the worst elements of early Test and Justin ‘Hawk’ Bradshaw rolled into one. This should be a treat!

I recall Sky more of the two, just because he teamed with Vinnie Vegas a bit on Worldwide before Nash fucked off to protect Shawn Michaels in the WWF. Looking him up now, Big Sky was also Woman’s bodyguard (Nitron) back when she was managing Doom in the late 80s. He can be seen at ringside during Starrcade 89. Didn’t know it was the same guy. Anyway, he’s shit. They both are. They have a crappy, mercifully short, match and Norris goes over with a boot to the face. They’re even hyping him as undefeated. Blatant poor man’s Tatanka. And when you’re a poor man’s Tatanka...that’s dirt poor.

2 Cold Scorpio & Marcus Alexander Bagwell vs Paul Orndorff & The Equalizer

Why do they keep saddling Orndorff with sodding Evad Sullivan? It’s alright, this. I can’t be mad at any match involving Mr Wonderful and 2 Cold Scorpio. I wish it was a singles match as their interactions are the best bit of this. Scorpio and Bagwell win when 2 Cold nails the 450 to perfection yet again.

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For all WCW’s faults, watching through 93, they’re actually doing a decent job of keeping the Scorpio and Bagwell team strong. They go over a lot on these shows. 

Bischoff interviews Regal now, after his TV title win earlier on. 

“Now as I return to this land of decadence and debauchery, I will defend this title with the honour and pride that you lowly, peasantly people have come to expect. Mr Bischoff, to you and all of these lowly people, I not only am a Lord but I am also a gentleman. If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?”

Ice Train vs Shangai Pierce

Choo-choo and all that bollocks. Ice Train has arrived. Man, there’s been a hefty delivery of shitehawks to the company since the COTC just a month before this, hasn’t there? A real influx of cack. To be fair, Ice Train looks the business. 

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I recall him being terrible though. Can a masked Henry Godwinn drag him to something watchable? That’s the question. And no sooner had I thought that, Capetta announced that there’s a 20 minute time limit for this. Fuck me. Thankfully they only go about three. But it’s still long enough to showcase how green and unready for PPV Ice Train was here. He wins with a powerslam all the same. 

Arn Anderson & Paul Roma (c) vs Nasty Boys - WCW World Tag Team Titles

As promised, the Nasty Boys have a surprise. 

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It’s Missy Hyatt. She’s managing them now. To be fair, by all accounts including her own, she’d been managing Knobbs for many a year by this point. 

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“What’s he talking about, her shoes?” - Jesse Ventura

Wasn’t a fan of this, to be honest. It goes around 25 minutes and feels like it lasts forever. The whole thing seems to exist just for Jesse to make pervy comments about Missy and for the crowd to chant ‘whore’ at her. The match itself isn’t the best either. It’s not the worst match ever or anything, it’s just dull and way too long. I remember quite enjoying Paul Roma teaming with Orndorff later on. That was a better fit for him and he was a heel which was much more up his alley. Here as a babyface doing 20-30 minute matches though, he’s dragging Arn Anderson to some of the worst matches of his career. Anyway, the Nastys take the belts when Roma hits the swan-dive splash on Knobbs but Saggs comes off the top and waffles him with an elbow behind the ref’s back. Knobbs gets the pin and we have new, very smelly, tag champs. 

Cactus Jack vs Yoshi Kwan

This is Foley’s big in-ring return after being out for months due to Vader battering him and powerbombing him on concrete on Saturday Night back in April. We see a recap of some of the ‘Lost in Cleveland’ stuff where he had amnesia and didn’t even know his own wife and kid. Now he’s back and after revenge. And after sending Harley Race a cactus in the post (seriously!) as a little message that he was coming back, he reappeared at the Clash and attacked Vader. For all the goofy bullshit here, Cactus gets down to business with a tremendous and very intense promo;

“Vader, I know what goes on inside that sick head of yours. You’re like a big game hunter. Look on your wall. You’ve got the ribs of Sting, the shoulder of Ron Simmons, the back of Joe Thurman and the neck of Nikita Koloff. But something was missing, wasn’t it? Somewhere over that fireplace in that home of yours, there was that space for that Saskatchewan moose. You said ‘BRING ME THE HEAD OF CACTUS JACK!’ But you can’t have it, Vader. You can’t have it. When Cactus Jack comes back, keep this in mind, he’s coming with bad intentions. And if they can arrest a man for the thoughts that go through his mind, then bring out the rope and hang me here!”

Before the match starts there’s a shot of a fan holding up an interesting (and clearly planted) sign...

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Schiavone plays dumb but Jesse can’t be doing with that and kills any mystery and suspense stone dead...

Schiavone: You see that sign, what does that mean? 

Jesse: What? Mean Gene? He’s on his way. 

Put your cigarettes out! 

I don’t know who the hell this Yoshi Kwan jabroni is. Zero memory of him. They’ve lumbered Harley Race with him though. Basically as a hired gun to take out Cactus so Vader needn’t bother. Look at this no-hoper;

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It’s a nothing match that only goes a few minutes. Just a case of reintroducing Cactus in his babyface role to get him ready for Vader. They have a brief back and forth before Cactus puts him away with a Double Arm DDT. 

Christ, they didn’t half saddle Race with some crap in 92/93, didn’t they? Poor get. From Super Invader to the Colossal Kongs to fucking Yoshi Kwan. What was he meant to do with that shower of shite? 

Ric Flair (c) vs Ravishing Rick Rude - WCW International World Heavyweight Title

OK, no more of the NWA World Title in WCW. It’s still the same physical ‘Big Gold Belt’ but the NWA were no longer giving WCW control over their title so WCW had to create a new name for it. 

Onto the match. The seeds for this were planted when Rude appeared on ‘A Flair For The Gold’ and started trying it on with Flair’s maid Fifi. She snubbed Rude, so he battered Flair. It’s hardly the Hogan vs Savage build in 88/89 but when the end result is going to be Flair vs Rude you can’t grumble too much. And as the match is about to get underway, Rude reveals he has Fifi airbrushed onto his tights! 

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What can possibly go wrong with the combination of Flair vs Rude? Turns out a lot. They do 30 minutes of one of the most lifeless and disappointing matches between two great wrestlers that you’ll ever see. This had no business being this boring. Whether they just didn’t mesh well or what, they clearly weren’t on the same page chemistry-wise for whatever reason. And I’ve got to say, a lot of it is Rude just killing the match off with seemingly never ending chinlocks and bearhugs. As huge a fan of Rude as I am, I must admit he could be wildly inconsistent in ring. His match with Chono at Havoc 92, this match with Flair, there’s no obvious reason why they turned out so poor. The length of this match certainly didn’t help. I’d heard this was a letdown before but never watched the full thing. It really is though. Should’ve been a classic but it fell way, way short.

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This marks the beginning of the end as the ref is distracted by Fifi being up on the apron. And while Flair has the figure-four on, Rude hits him with a weapon from his tights (behave) and pins Flair, 123. New champ. That was wank. 

As crap as it was though, I’ve got to say Rude looked the dogs bollocks with that belt! 

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It’s main event time next. Tony and Jesse talk up how dangerous and career changing War Games can be. Then I remember the bastard Shockmaster is in this and the feeling goes from serious to wrestlecrap in an instant. 

Sting, British Bulldog, Dustin Rhodes & The Shockmaster vs Big Van Vader, Sid Vicious & Harlem Heat - War Games

Compare this to the awesome 1992 version. Sad thing is, the potential for another great War Games was there. They could’ve mixed things up and had either Cactus or Flair on the babyface side instead of bloody Tugboat. And maybe a Orndorff or Austin or whoever on the heel team. But no. Roadwarrior Animal is here as the ‘team advisor’ for the goodies because...I don’t know why. It’s WCW, don’t ask me! 

They’ve already completely abandoned The Shockmaster’s apparent original gimmick and look. Whatever that was meant to be...

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Now he’s looking like this...

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Just a big fat construction worker or trucker or something. He’s a master of shocks. And a master of falling right on his fookin’ arse. 

Dustin and Vader kick things off. At least it’ll start well. Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole here. I’m not calling them that. So suckas gots to know Stevie Ray is the next man in. Then Sting. You know the drill. The rings fill up as Sid, Bulldog and Booker T come in, until there’s only one man left.

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The babyfaces are in trouble but everything’s going to be OK because...The Shockmaster is the final entrant. Saving the best until last, eh? And erm...he comes in and makes Booker submit with a bearhug. For real. Jesus wept. 

Fucking dire. One of those awful shows that makes you wonder what you’re doing with your life when you’re 34 years old and devoting 3 hours of your Tuesday night to this utter shitefest. Seriously, after Steamboat vs Regal, this one dropped right off a cliff. 

“What a night it’s been, Tony. The Shockmaster making the difference. The guy can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but he proved he can definitely put a bearhug on.” - Jesse Ventura

He was definitely naturally a disaster, that Shockmaster. 

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With all the time and content till fill on the network, a 1 hr late night slightly more edgy show would be brilliant, in a venue like above. The ladies a little more provactive, commentery less choreographed, wrestlers given a bit more freedom. Not saying bring back the era totally, but an hour a week or a 2hr special a month, like the old SNME would definitely work.   

Above show is a great easy watch. 

Edited by Porkchopcash
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