The Official UKFF RAW Thread...

[Linus]

Yeah, I'm back. I watched Raw again. Feel free to skip my childish thoughts...

Seth Rollins (with his beautifully manly arms on show - okay SM?) said some stuff. It's hard to listen to him. His voice has no bass. I realise I am alone in this, in not buying him as a main eventer, and that's fine. It's just... you know.

Anyway, Cena made him powder. Into the crowd where Ambrose was comedy~! Good stuff. Ambrose and Cena both look like they own the arena. I like that.

Anyway, HHH and JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU LOOK AT THOSE TITS Stephanie came out and announced the main event. All I could think, apart from the tits, was how pissed off I'd be if I were Orton, having to do all the shitwork for Rollins. Kane? He should be glad anyone still remembers him.

Dolph Ziggler and the Usos beat Cesaro and the Dust Brothers in a seriously who cares about either of these programmes match? Ziggler had the belt with him - or at least a belt - so Repo Man v2.0 isn't coming in like I thought. Sad face.

Adam Rose and the Rosebuds were used to try and get Kathy Lee & Hoda over. They failed. Brutally. You can't shine shit.

Bo Dallas somehow agreed to fight Mark Henry again. This is such an odd angle. It seems as though they're going for a double turn, with Dallas refusing to give up and coming up with fluke wins because of that, and Henry beating up a guy much smaller than he is, for no other reason than he's a bit sad. I have absolutely no confidence that they'll follow through on it, or even what they'd do with a babyface Dallas. A heel Henry could help on that side of things, since they're woefully short, but he's been killed by Rusev who... well, we'll get to that later.

Ambrose and Cena have a good tawky tawky. Cena looks like he's morphing into an action figure. Ambrose looks like he's too warm. Ambrose decides to go to Coney Island. He got on a subway train and nobody reacted to him. *shrug*

Oh God, the women "fought". For reasons, which I think they explained but I zoned out, Brie had one arm tied behind her back. Her left arm. Her working arm. Yeah. She still won. Sucks to be Summer Rae. Oh, Nicki has a great ass.

Miz & Mizdow did some comedy. Kane did not think they were funny.

Jack Swagger is a hoss. Before I drifted away from wrestling for a while, one of the last things I did was put together a mixDVD, and it had one of his Florida matches on. I liked him then, but he seems very empty now, like Mike Tenay's dead eyes on every episode of TNA ever. I bet every one of you could book him better than he's being done here.

Tyson Kidd is not a hoss. But he is better on Raw than he is on NXT. *shrug* A wise man once said, "Don't let 'em book your marriage", and Tyson would have done well to listen to that shit. Oh, how odd is it that he's not allowed any more title shots in NXT but he is on Raw when all of the other contenders aren't? Swagger won.

Edge & Christian did BreedTV.

Roman Reigns did the worst interview since someone kicked someone else's leg out of their leg. Seriously, this was awful. Worse than the Superman punch. I'd say watch it, but it's so bad it's not even worth that. Dud.

Talking of... remember how I liked the alligator last week? Turns out I'M A FUCKING IDIOT. Torito vs Mini-Gator made every divas match on Raw ever look like Misawa-Kobashi 01/20/97. Utter drivel, and the crowd let them know. Michael Cole - Michael Cole! - look embarrassed afterwards.

Last week, and the week before that, the Big Show buried Rusev so badly that he can only have taken a shit in Vince's bag or something. This week, instead of getting the Gaint to do it, they brought in THE ROCK~!. Yeah, that THE ROCK~!. Apart from saying that Lana was gorgeous - and he's not wrong, right kids? - he spent 15 minutes making Rusev look like a massive geek. They could have used him to give a rub but what would be the point when the Big Show has already destroyed him? Instead a man who doesn't wrestle much anymore came out and farted on a guy who is supposedly in tip top shape and ready to destroy. Rusev should chat to Summer Rae about future endeavours.

But THE ROCK~! How good was THE ROCK~!? I was just reading an obit of Curtis Iaukea - always up to date, me - and it was said he had that ability to command all the attention in the room whenever he walked in. I guess we know where THE ROCK~! got that from.

THIS WILL CONTINUE.

[LaGoosh]

I still have it in my mind, for better or for worse, that The Rock may face Lesnar at Mania. Of course it's short term, but they might want to do it whilst they can. I can see The Rock being keen on it so long as he has space in his schedule for it. No idea where that would leave everyone else, but it's too early to piece together a card.

 

The Rock tore his muscles in matches against Cena, the lightest worker in WWE. Going against Brock who really lays it in will probably put his movie career on the shelf for the next 5 years.

[Scott Malbranque]

Seth Rollins (with his beautifully manly arms on show - okay SM?) said some stuff. It's hard to listen to him. His voice has no bass. I realise I am alone in this, in not buying him as a main eventer, and that's fine. It's just... you know.

 

 

That's better, Linii. That's where it's at! Big, manly, swole ass, pumped guns on the cunt!

I fully agree the chap has no bass in his voice. It's like when Edge first started talking. His voice wobbled and he sounded so meek and apologetic for being there, almost. Rollins is suffering from this at present, in my opinion.

[Refused]

Rollins was absolute turd on the mic back in ROH, miles better now but he's still got a ways to go.

[Scott Malbranque]

Was there ever anyone good on the mic in ROH?

[King Pitcos]

People said CM Punk was, but that one bit they always championed where he had an argument with someone in the crowd was rancid. He was probably decent some of the time, though.

 

People said Bryan was at one point in ROH too, but he's always been fairly bad at promos since he came to WWE so I can't imagine he was brilliant before. Perhaps the everpresent corpsing smirk made more sense for his ROH character.

 

From what I've seen of his ROH stuff, Matt Hardy's been alright. But I've only seen the stuff he put on Youtube himself, actually.

[Loki]

The Rock needs to stop coming back like this.  His schtick reeks nowadays and that cheesy fake grin has become very annoying.  I agree that Rusev doesn't lose anything by the encounter, but nor does he gain anything, so it's a wasted opportunity.

 

Lana's legs though, boy, they need a program of their own.

 

I'm warming to Rollins slowly, but the comparison with Edge is apt in that I'm not sure I'll ever buy him as a main eventer.  And as good as Ambrose is, the fact that he can walk onto a subway train and nobody notices only emphasises to me that the move away from huge fucking musclemen in wrestling means it's lost a bit of its wow factor.  If the Rock or Hogan, or Warlord or Billy Jack Haynes, or King Kong Bundy or Sting walked onto a train in civvies, people would look up.  Only Rusev of the new breed has a look that immediately says "wrestler".

 

In Ambrose's case it doesn't matter so much as his character is all about craziness.  Just a general observation.

 

I know they won't, but the hotter Ambrose gets the more I hope they'll turn John Cena.  When HHH was commiserating with Cena backstage I thought that Cena's whole persona could be transferred straight to a corporate champ gimmick, and be the perfect foil for anti-establishment Ambrose.

[tiger_rick]

The Rock needs to stop coming back like this.  His schtick reeks nowadays and that cheesy fake grin has become very annoying.

Did you not hear the crowd? After he got owned by John Cena, week after week, the people still absolutley adore him. When you can get that on TV - you fucking well get it on TV.

[Scott Malbranque]

From what I've seen of his ROH stuff, Matt Hardy's been alright. But I've only seen the stuff he put on Youtube himself, actually.

Aye, Hardy's "Anti Bullying" silent promo on Youtube to a pensive piano rendition of his old WWE entrance theme was a thing of beauty.

I do like ROH, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t watch it for progressive storylines or promo’s as I feel if I did, I would hate the bastard promotion.

 

I know they won't, but the hotter Ambrose gets the more I hope they'll turn John Cena.  When HHH was commiserating with Cena backstage I thought that Cena's whole persona could be transferred straight to a corporate champ gimmick, and be the perfect foil for anti-establishment Ambrose.

Thought the same thing myself on Monday night, Lokester. I though Cena was brilliant in their segment together. He can be wonderful when playing 'serious/pissed off'.

The only way they'll turn Cena heel - I feel - is if Reigns lives up to the hype they’ve put in him and the kids & ladies take to him as the next big star for the next generation.

I don’t think they can go down that route with Ambrose – nor should we expect it - as he already seems fairly diluted as is in the PG environment, which isn’t a slight on the chap. I find him to be brilliant and refreshing, given the era we’re in, but I sincerely doubt he’ll be the figurehead/leader for the new era.

Austin of 1997 - 2001 wouldn’t work as well as he did back then nowadays, and I don’t think they would base the promotion around him in the current environment which is why I feel Ambrose has just come 15 years too late. Or maybe he’s 10 years too early, who knows.

Edited October 8, 2014 by Scott Malbranque

[Refused]

Was there ever anyone good on the mic in ROH?

 

I quite liked Bryan when he was a pirate, and Homicide because he's OG as fuck.

Briscoes too cause they talk funny and swear a lot.

Edited October 8, 2014 by Refused

[PowerButchi]

Steve Corino's great on the mic in ROH, but that's because Steve Corino's great on the mic. It's his thing.

[ColinBollocks]

Touching on what tiger rick typed, for every one of us jaded wankers that thinks The Rock talking about "lady parts" and sticking stuff up arses is naff and dated, there are far more that enjoy all that. When people know he's turning up, The Rock always bumps numbers in the right direction.

 

Lana is absolute filth. Tremendous at everything WWE look for in their women. Both Lana and Rusev are the best full timers on the show and it's great seeing them shine when in there with a big name like The Rock. I'm probably more excited for Russia v Cena, than Reigns winning the title, or Bryan returning.

[Fanny Pack]

Can anybody tell me what JBL said about the Torito/Hornswoggle match during the Rock seg. Rewound it 5 times and still cant figure it out? Cheers.

Edited October 8, 2014 by Fanny Pack

[andrew "the ref" coyne]

Edge & Christian did BreedTV.

 

 

Bloody hell Linus. Pulling out a FWA circa 2000 reference? Chances are we're the only two dinosaurs who got the joke.

[PSF]

Last week, and the week before that, the Big Show buried Rusev so badly that he can only have taken a shit in Vince's bag or something. This week, instead of getting the Gaint to do it, they brought in THE ROCK~!. Yeah, that THE ROCK~!. Apart from saying that Lana was gorgeous - and he's not wrong, right kids? - he spent 15 minutes making Rusev look like a massive geek. They could have used him to give a rub but what would be the point when the Big Show has already destroyed him? Instead a man who doesn't wrestle much anymore came out and farted on a guy who is supposedly in tip top shape and ready to destroy. Rusev should chat to Summer Rae about future endeavours.

 

 

Completely disagree with this. Rusev getting his arse handed to him by the Rock or even Bigshow on Raw won't harm him in the slightest. He's the man that gets it done when it matters. Its all well and good being able to knock him out of the ring or even KO him, but if he keeps winning whilst the crowds want him to lose so bad, then he'll be fine. After he loses......well that's another story.

 

Rusev and Lana in particular were excellent on Raw and neither looked out of place with one of the biggest stars ever. It would be easy for them to snigger a little or come off as cheesy with their responses, but they held their own.