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Facebook updates that blow your mind


SpursRiot2012

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...~ These words were written by a reporter who witnessed the accident. The girl, as she died, was saying these words and the reporter wrote them down... very overwhelmed. The journalist started this campaign, if you read this note, please click "share", so more people can be aware. Therefore, I ask one small gesture, send it to your friends, family and loved ones....

 

I have my doubts.

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My brother, somehow linking the taxes we pay with the cold weather, word for word:

 

fucking weather is constant shit. we pay sky high tax's on every thing, it even costs to take a shit these day's, and all we get is rain and snow, I want out and the immagrants can have this freezing island lol
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I'm not on facebook either. But something I dont really understand, why are all you guys putting up with this shit? Like you SpursRiots, you've contributed a lot to this thread with "this just popped up on my timeline", but why are you letting stuff like this clog up your timeline in the first place? Unfriend them or something.

 

9 times out of 10 it's someone related to me. I don't like to offend family members.

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I don't mind the pregancy/new born stuff. If you don't want to receive online updates on important events from the lives of the people you know, why are you on Facebook? That's what its for, no?

 

Its six of one and half a dozen of the other.

 

"Little Billy has his first tooth~#growupsoquick"

 

Fair enough, its a big thing for you I can get that, first tooth and all that.

 

"Little Billy's got his six tooth OMGZ~ #growupsoquick"

That, well that's just not important at all is it, its not some big mile stone it's just the banal day to day which some people plunge forward in a desperate attempt to justify their existence.

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I'm not on facebook either. But something I dont really understand, why are all you guys putting up with this shit? Like you SpursRiots, you've contributed a lot to this thread with "this just popped up on my timeline", but why are you letting stuff like this clog up your timeline in the first place? Unfriend them or something.

 

9 times out of 10 it's someone related to me. I don't like to offend family members.

 

That was my worry at first, until I realised I barely speak to any of them outside of my close relatives anyway so a mass-deletion of cousins, aunties, nieces and nephews went down. I also deleted any other people who post shite like that too. Only have about 100ish Facebook friends now, which compared to most people I know is incredibly low. But it does mean I have a fantastic lack of spam and chain posts and narrow-minded racist bollocks.

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Young moms posting a million fucking pictures of their kids.

I know, right? You click on their profile for a quick perv, and end up having to scroll through a squillion photos of their stupid babies before you get to the ones where they are drunkenly pretending to kiss another girl.

 

No consideration.

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Y'know rather than deleting folk that post shite you could just remove them from your live feed, so you will never see anything they post appear on the main page? I've had to do that with a few relatives.

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I hate how they inherited your old Movie/Music likes from your profile into automatically subscribing to their pages. I should never have altered my music like from only having "David Hasselhoff: Live in Berlin". So anyway, because I put "Die Hard" in my film likes, I got the following in my news feed t'other day:

 

Dang.

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The fucking worst are new parents who post about their new baby's nappy contents and then all get up in arms if someone moans at them. One of the reasons I haven't had a kid yet is I don't want to deal with that sort of shit (pun not intended), and I certainly don't want to read detailed descriptions of consistency 10 minutes after waking up, so stop fucking forcing it on me! It's getting to the point where I think I'd rather see another abused animal pic. Also, if your entire personality is centred around the fact you're a parent and you love your kids, then you're a pretty dull and irritating person. You know what? Fuck you Madeline, fuck you and the endless stream of ugly shitting brats that keep crawling out of your vagina.

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A friend of mine did a 365 photo blog. A photo every day, blah blah blah. The nadir was a picture of bottled water on a kitchen table. Bottled water. I hate being so negative about stuff like this. I try to be optimistic about people having artistic aspirations. But it's just so fucking shit. Also I'm determined not to fill up my page with endless photos of my kids as I find it so fucking droll.

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Oh, I've got a new one. People who don't actually post any status's at all, they just repost constant fucking pictures from 'funny' meme groups. Just get a fucking personality already.

 

And while we're at it, Dad, please stop posting youtube links to Nirvana & Dandy Warhol tracks when you've had a drink. Stop trying to pretend that's the type of music you like, you listen to Cat Stevens and The Bee Gees, stop trying to pretend you're cool.

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Also, if your entire personality is centred around the fact you're a parent and you love your kids, then you're a pretty dull and irritating person.

 

There are some who I've found to be so obsessed with their offspring that the father doesn't get a look in. Its like they don't exist anymore. And after one of them said they don't miss going out because they prefer being snuggled up with their kid then you just know that father's not going to be around longer. Or me.

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And while we're at it, Dad, please stop posting youtube links to Nirvana & Dandy Warhol tracks when you've had a drink. Stop trying to pretend that's the type of music you like, you listen to Cat Stevens and The Bee Gees, stop trying to pretend you're cool.

 

In all fairness I also turn Facebook into a very very shit version of VH1 classic when I've had a few pints over the 8.

 

Cat Stevens is ace though.

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