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The Why Don't You Get a Job Thread


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Ralphy, are you on Universal Credit or similar? Have you considered getting a budgeting loan and finding somewhere to live on SpareRooms? You can find a house share in most cities outside of London for about ÂŁ400 per a month with all your bills covered. Use your budgeting loan as the deposit. Then sign on for housing help. You won't get the full amount covered but you should still be left with ÂŁ300-ish a month for yourself after you cover your rent.

That would give you a boost of independence without having to take on too much of a commitment. You'll have enough money in your pocket every month to easily cover food and travel (if you're not daft with it) and have some money for spending on whatever you want.

Then look at doing an Open Uni degree or some courses or whatever. Don't rush anything, but if you're struggling and just out walking all day then you're not going to feel much better anytime soon. The walking is great, I've done it before where I'd fuck off out the house for 12 hour walks to escape it all. The endorphines feel good from the excersise, but it's no way to make you feel any better in the long-term (trying not to sound too harsh, I've been there before). 

It's a cliche, but nothing changes if nothing changes. If you get a live-in job just to get away from your dad then there's a big chance it will do your head in and you'll quit within a year and be back where you're at now.

You could be in a worse position. The budgeting loan and whatever money you would've paid your dad as board would more than cover moving into a house share. 

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4 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

So I realised that every job I have had has been via application form not CV. Now I'm near 40 and looking at other work I've seen a few that want CVs. Any good CV creation sites? I tried to put one together but, quite frankly, it looks like shite.

Make it no more than two pages, don’t be shy and really sell yourself, list achievements at each role and do it in chronological order. 
 

There are a few recruiters on here but I can’t remember who. But @MPDTT is in HR so he will know exactly what they’re looking for. Even things like font are important. 

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1 hour ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

So I realised that every job I have had has been via application form not CV. Now I'm near 40 and looking at other work I've seen a few that want CVs. Any good CV creation sites? I tried to put one together but, quite frankly, it looks like shite.

Some decent advice here from one of my old employers

https://www.michaelpage.co.uk/advice/career-advice/cover-letter-and-cv-advice/example-good-cv

Its not rocket science but be clear and concise. Achievements and more achievements. 

Its incredibly un-British to brag but make your CV sell you like you are the greatest person ever. 

And don’t write it in comic sans. Or put a bloody picture on it. 

Add interests and don’t be afraid to put what you want. Put it this way, if I saw interests on a CV that included Spurs and Hip Hop, that candidate definitely got a call. Sad I know but recruitment is a boring repetitive job, so it’s very small things that can catch eyes.

Best of luck.

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3 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Make it no more than two pages, don’t be shy and really sell yourself, list achievements at each role and do it in chronological order. 
 

There are a few recruiters on here but I can’t remember who. But @MPDTT is in HR so he will know exactly what they’re looking for. Even things like font are important. 

Thanks for tagging me @Keith Houchen.

Hi @ReturnOfTheMack - there really is no 'ideal' CV, but as someone who reviews multiple CVs a week, let me give you some advice:

1. Use Calibri or Arial and keep it to 2 pages - unless you're going for an executive role, in which case I wouldn't limit it to 2

2. No photo - whilst we all expect it on Linkedin, its still frowned upon to put a picture on a CV (although common amongst Eastern Europeans)

3. Section 1 - your 'professional profile' - a paragraph about yourself and the type of role you are looking for. In addition to the paragraph, I recommend adding some bullet points to highlight some key skills you have. The goal here is to grab the readers attention. You may want to customise this section for each role you apply for.

4. Section 2 - your 'career history' - working back from most recent, list every role, company and dates in role. For each one, I'd provide a sentence or 2 explaining the role, and then follow up with bullet points detailing respinsibilities and achievements. My personal preference is to split out these bullets into 2 separate lists - first 'Key Achievements" and then 'Key Responsibilities'. Then move on to the next role. If there is more than a 3 monh gap between any role, explain the gap. Equally, if you've job hopped and stayed in roles for a short period, explain that too as a recruiter will not look kindly on this. If you've held loads of roles, I wouldn't go into detail on really old ones that have no bearing on the role you are applying for. For example, on my CV I provide the above breakdown for my last 5 jobs, but for jobs before then I simply state the company and dates in role in bullet point form.

5. Section 3 - is 'education' - bullet point your qualifications.

6. Section 4 - title this 'personal details' and consider including nationality, drivers licence held (if suitable), hobbies / interests 

7. Final line - state 'References available upon request'

Finally, a point on whether to write in first-person or third-person.....often debated and whilst there is no right or wrong answer, I recommend the absent first-person approach and removing all pronouns. This is explained at this link: https://www.topcv.co.uk/career-advice/should-i-write-my-cv-in-third-person

 

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4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

And don’t write it in comic sans.

I had a CV written for me by a professional service once, and they put it in Comic Sans. They also wrote it like a 7 year old would write about what they did during the school holidays.

I worked for these, where I did this. Then I worked for these, where I did this. They I worked for these, where I did this.

I protested, but she insisted that this was how employers wanted CVs. I never found out if this was true as I couldn't bring myself to send it to anyone.

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On 2/5/2020 at 7:11 PM, Wretch said:

Had an interview today for a job in the civil service. I knew straight away from reading the job description, and from my previous experience before I got stuck in a rut working nights in Tesco for almost nine fucking years that I could absolutely do this job with the Land Registry.

Walked into the interview to a panel of three people and all my prepping may as well have gone out the window. Tripping over my words and not giving detailed enough answers to certain scenarios, I could feel myself going red in the face as I stumbled my way through three quarters of the interview.

Of course, on the way back home, I'm calling myself a dickhead and asking myself why didn't I answer so and so in a certain way. I can prep for weeks but as soon as I'm sat face to face with the interviewer, my mind goes completely blank. In a previous life, I used to recruit and interview people so you think I'd know better.

Fucking bollocks.

Don't let this experience put you off going for other jobs, and don't be afraid to take all your notes in with you next time.

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1 hour ago, Rapey Eyes said:

I think it’s also worth mentioning that your contact details should be on the Cv somewhere, or if not, then it should be on any covering letters. Also email addresses should be sensible and professional 

Correct. Just under your name at the top and should include phone number, email address, postal address and LinkedIn profile (if you have one).

I'd strongly recommend using a sensible email address.

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On 2/6/2020 at 10:06 AM, Ralphy said:

Any news? I am looking for suggestions for jobs with accomadation included, home life is insufferable and really effecting me. I pay more in board than my friend pays on a mortgage for a 3 bed house 

I contacted them this past Thursday since I hadn't heard from the company. They finally came back to me yesterday afternoon and I didn't get the job I applied for. They offered me an operative job, but it's less per hour than my current job and less hours per week. So I had to pass on it. I am going to another interview today, but they seem a bit sketchy on what the actual wage is. So we'll see how it goes.

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On 2/12/2020 at 9:28 AM, Rey_Piste said:

I am going to another interview today, but they seem a bit sketchy on what the actual wage is. So we'll see how it goes.

So it turned out that the job was barely above minimum wage. With a raise after a 6 month probationary period, but it seems more like an excuse to sack you off after 6 months. So it's really a seasonal job, but they are advertising it as a permanent position.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I've been given a temporary managers role for the last 8 weeks while my own manager is covering his manager's paternity leave. Today I found out they're going to provisionally move the returning guy into a more senior role, so for the next 3 months at least I'm going to continue as a manager. I chuffed, as well as a little daunted because it's been the most work related stress I've ever had, but that lessens the move I do it, and I've got a lot better at it as I've gone on. 

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