Swearing

[Slapnut]

I really think I need to cut down on my swearing. I've never thought of it as a problem until the other day when I (jokingly) told my mam to fuck off. She hates swearing and is the only person I won't swear in front of. It made me realise that I actually swear far too much for my own good.

 

How much do you swear? And just for good measure, what are your favourite words?

[air_raid]

I swear an awful lot around people I know although I try not to swear in public becase I'm wary that there are people out there that it offends. In fact even though it doesnt offend me personally, I cringe when I hear youngsters prattling on and every other word is "fucking" this that or the other, because of people that it does bother.

 

That said, I swear a lot in private although most of it is when exasperated - "fuck this," "fucking hell" and "for fuck's sake." And as an insult, I have a massive weakness for "twat."

[d-d-d-dAz]

I swear a lot, I think. Certainly in conversation with friends in closed quarters, or in a 'rowdier' setting like a bar or something, i'm not afraid to drop a few F-bombs.

 

That said, in close quarters like in a supermarket queue or a bank or something, I really don't like being near people f'ing and blinding. In fact I judge them.

 

In certain social situations I love a good fuck, as it were, but in others I think it makes you seem like a chavvy tramp.

[The King Of Swing]

I swear a lot but I can tone it down when I need to.

[Fox Piss]

I swear a lot with friends but i never swear infront of family it's like i have a switch.

[Frankie Crisp]

I swear quite a bit. It's horrible. It's not intentional but, as with d-d-d-dAz, I tend to be worse when I'm out having a pint. It's certainly not a way of trying to look like the big man - my stomach does that job - but I do seem to be worse after a couple of drinks. I try to not swear in front of women as I find it completely unattractive to hear a woman swear so it'd be hypocritical to then do the same in their company. I sometimes have a bit of a swear in the office if someone or something has pissed me off, but that swearing is usually done in a jokey way so not to cause offence to my colleagues. Even though some of them are the dickheads who piss me off in the first place.

[Keith Houchen]

Yeah I swear a lot but usually it's not in an aggressive way, context is everything when it comes to swearing.

[Arch Stanton]

Fortunately, I seem to have full control over my profanity too. I swear a lot around my mates and even in my posts on here, but never do it at work or around my mum and dad.

[King Pitcos]

Usually only when doing an Irish accent. More offensive than swearing, to me, are people who spit all the time and use the word "lad" in every sentence, usually twice. Both of these are done by the sort of Scousemong I wish death on.

"Alright lad, what you doin' on this bus lad?"

"Sound lad, I'm going to me bird's house, lad. What you doing, lad?"

"Just going to get sutton to eat, lad."

Fuck off, cunts.

[Frankie Crisp]

I feel your pain.

 

Lad.

[Magnum]

I swear a fair bit, but as with Keith, it's rarely aggressive. I don't understand people who are offended by swearing in this day and age - as a wise man once said, it's only words. And if you're going to be offended by words, I find the odd 'fuck', 'twat' or even 'cunt' a lot less offensive than recent pop culture abominations like 'well jel', 'tache on' or 'reem'.

 

I also think the twats who whinge that 'swearing shows a lack of vocabulary' are on a par with the the 'what will that tattoo look like when you're 60?' bores. As The Thick of It has shown, good swearing done well can make beautiful use of the English language.

[spotlightmagnet1]

I swear too much really. One day, my flatmate in uni bought me a poster saying 'Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics' to tell me to tone it down a bit. I try but sometimes it slips out.

[patiirc]

I swear quite a bit. No real airs and graces here, unless in polite company or around kids. I guess that makes us vulgar crass and uncouth for the large part but large parts of that comes from socialisation when growing up. My Dad's a Stonemason and I've worked on a fair few building sites in my time, where the language is less than choice. Living in a rural community full of farmers, squaddies etc meant that swearing was very much de rigueur as opposed to not swearing. My Mum and Dad did try to not expose us to swearing whilst growing up, but when I pretty much knew all the swear words in the book by the time I was 8 or 9, it was a losing battle.

 

Swearing has got us into trouble before, most notably at university, when I ended up having to see the Dean of Faculty, because of an outburst at a lecturer, who was being a complete and utter cunt about things and was paying no attention whatsoever to what I was saying. It was especially galling because the issue under discussion hinged on me getting or not getting my degree. She was coming across as arrogant, aloof and as if as though, the work and marks I had already got, which were enough to pass the module were completely and utterly worthless. Effectively, she was holding me to ransom by making doing more work for the course and only being able to get a pass for it, rather than any other mark, scuppering my chance of a 2:1, despite none of the issues being my fault. Unsurprisingly after reaching an impasse and her continued condescension, I let rip with a tirade of swear words because everything else, multiple proofs of why the course was done in the way it was, the amount of work already done and the marks already scored, just didn't register. It wasn't faculty policy, it was her decision alone, I assume to be ratified with the Dean after the fact. Understandably I was a more than a little pissed off. Apparently I came across as threatening and as a result she feared for her safety, so she complained to the Dean. It is ironic considering I'm a pacifist and struggle to kill insects, let alone hurt anyone else. There were also two (independent) witnesses to my swearing outburst who agreed that I wasn't threatening towards her in the slightest.

 

When meeting the Dean, her story suddenly changed and it was then about the language used, mainly because she hadn't got a leg to stand on with the other stuff and was trying to save her own ass. Got stitched up a treat there, seen as she was the Dean's shag buddy at the time. Happy Days

[Magnum]

I swear quite a bit. No real airs and graces here, unless in polite company or around kids.

 

Yeah, although I see no real problem with swearing, out of politeness I try not to swear in front of families, simply because I know it can come across more aggressive than intended to those who aren't used to it.

 

The exceptions are in what I consider to be 'adult' environments like a football match or the pub. At a footy match, it's an emotional occasion, emotions are running high, and what happens happens. I'm not talking about those raving lunatics you see almost foaming at the mouth as they let fly a non-stop stream of expletives and saliva for 90 minutes, but the odd instinctive 'fuck off referee!' can't be helped. Thankfully, I think most parents who bring kids to football matches understand that.

 

In the pub, I have a rule of thumb that I'll be as considerate as the parents of the kids are being. If there's a family having a quiet meal at a table nearby and the kids are well-behaved, of course I'll make an effort to keep my swearing to a mimimum. But if they're the sort who sit there glugging rose while the kids scream the house down and run full pelt around the pub as if it's an adventure playground with no regard for the man carrying three pints back from the bar, then they can fucking lump my swearing.

[King Pitcos]

Swearing has got us into trouble before