Worst signings ever

[Merzbow]

Dean Holdsworth was the most useless signing Cov ever made, right? Dreadful and didn't score a goal while we had him on loan yet we still signed him permanantly to only go and never score in the league before fucking off to Rushden soon after. Pretty sure the R&D deal for him wasn't even as a fully signed player either.

[SuperBacon]

2 minutes ago, Merzbow said:

Dean Holdsworth was the most useless signing Cov ever made, right?

A shame as he was an absolute goal machine at Brentford and a vital part of that 92 Division 3 league winning team. I really feel like they would've kicked on if they'd held on to him and Blissett.

I don't even remember him playing for you.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

2 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

One that was really disappointing between our clubs was Andy Reid. Classy player but maybe the chubbiest midfielder I've ever seen, Ndombele included!

You take that back. The Figo of the East Midlands was nothing but class. 

As a Millwall fan we've seen some shockers signed. Two Bob Peeters who was a giant who couldn't head but he didn't actually cost a lot so not the worst signing, though he was on the highest wages we'd ever paid, the lanky cunt. 

The worst signing in my mind was Paul Goddard. A club record signing who scored 1 goal in 20 games over 2 years before leaving on a free transfer. Not the ideal replacement for Tony Cascarino. 

[Merzbow]

16 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

A shame as he was an absolute goal machine at Brentford and a vital part of that 92 Division 3 league winning team. I really feel like they would've kicked on if they'd held on to him and Blissett.

I don't even remember him playing for you.

This was in the 00's after his Bolton days so far past his prime, fuck him though as he was a woman beater.

[SpiritOfTheForest]

Vasilis Barkas. On paper, a good signing - a Greek international bought from AEK Athens for the fee of £4.5 million (which is no small change in Scottish football terms.) To be fair to the lad, he arrived during the pandemic. so that can't have been easy for him and there was a general malaise around the club at the time he arrived, although that didn't last long once Big Ange got going. . Good lord though, he was absolutely hopeless. A keeper who was incapable of stopping shots. The guy didn't even catch Covid. After Joe Hart got in the door, he was immediately punted out the squad before going on loan, and ultimately signing for, Utrecht. I believe he's actually doing pretty well there and mind seeing a couple of videos of some of wonder saves that looked a million miles beyond him in Glasgow. 

I think it's case of wrong place, wrong time but Barkas has to be one of our worst ever signings. 

[westlondonmist]

2 hours ago, RedTwoster said:

Rafael Scheidt (genuinely pronounced, unless we were misinformed by the Scottish press at the time, as ‘shite’) at Celtic has to be up there. £5million in 1999, after the club made an assumption on his level of ability based on him being capped a few times for Brazil. Boss John Barnes admitted he’d never seen him play. But hey, caps for Brazil have to count for something, right?

Well…not so much. Brazil were handing out caps left, right and centre at the time, so it was inevitable there would be a few misfires. 

My memory is fuzzy, but according to Wikipedia he only made 3 appearances for Celtic (I was sure he’d made a few more, but apparently not) - and Scheidt (appropriately) utterly honked in each one. He ended up going on loan to Corinthians, never to return.

A few years ago he even admitted the next Celtic manager, Martin O’Neill told him that he didn’t like players like him - he liked players who ‘played well’. A bit harsh, but Rafael really was awful.

Pretty sure they handed out caps to help clubs sell players for insane prices to ignorant clubs in Europe. Have heard stories that it often involved back handers from clubs and agents but could be a load of Scheidt. 

 

Celtic have made loads of bad signings, just look at last summer. But he's probably the worst value. 

 

Barkas is up there too, mainly as our next best keeper was Bain. We were fucked. Think the club expected Forster to come back. 

[hallicks]

Can we count loan signings? I’d like to put Kaba Diawara in the mix, if so.

Not sure if it’s an irrational hatred, but Alex Hleb. To me, he’s inextricably linked to the post-glory Wenger downturn era where all the stars left and we ended up with total shitarses like him. I’m sure there’s YouTube  compilations of how “great” he was but my memory of him is just blind alley dribbling and no end product. And then Barca came in for him. Cheers, lads! 

[RedTwoster]

27 minutes ago, westlondonmist said:

Celtic have made loads of bad signings, just look at last summer. But he's probably the worst value. 

On the whole, Rangers have probably outdone them as far as utter duds are concerned. You can give all the context you need from their names alone in some cases.

For example: Joey Barton. 

Nothing more needs to be said.

[SpiritOfTheForest]

38 minutes ago, RedTwoster said:

For example: Joey Barton. 

 

Oh aye, good one. If I remember right, Barton was giving it the big man before arriving in Glasgow about how he was going to come in and walk the league. In the event, he was a complete failure and the most memorable thing he did was this fantastic picture of him utterly shiteing it against Scott Brown.  

Edit: Actually missed the emojis before I posted 😅

Edited 10 hours ago by SpiritOfTheForest

[RIDDUM_N_STYLE]

Andy Van Der Meyde - spent more time getting pissed and drugged up than actually contributing, his one and only notable act was providing the cross that set up Dan Gosling’s winner in the Derby en route to the 2009 cup final

Davy Klaasen - signed as one of 3 number 10’s by Ronald Koeman in that fateful summer of 2017 (Rooney and Sigurdsson being the others), barely featured after Koeman left and was sold at a loss the next summer

Per Kroldrup - one of Moyes’ rare missteps, only played one game of note, a 4-0 Boxing Day drubbing at Villa, and looked like he’d never seen a football before, shipped him off to Italy where he had a much better career

[TheHighlightReel]

13 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

Me and Punkstep like to have a regular chuckle about West Ham and their absolutely shit series of strikers they've had over the years.

If I’m not mistaken at one point we had past their prime Diego Tristan, Benni McCarthy and Mido on our books at the same time.

 

But honestly I could be here all day with the amount of disaster signings West Ham have made in my lifetime.

[Tim Healys Chutney Spoon]

Fernando Torres or Andy Carroll for Liverpool probably.

 

For Spurs...umm ummm there's certainly a plethora to choose from! All the ones mentioned most definitely have a case to be the worst. 

[gmoney]

Torres was a beast for Liverpool?

[Tim Healys Chutney Spoon]

1 minute ago, gmoney said:

Torres was a beast for Liverpool?

Sorry meant Chelsea. Got it the wrong way around 

[Cod Eye]

For Barnsley, it's a choice of two players who were free transfers, but came in with big reputations and did the square root of nothing!

Firstly, former Arsenal "prodigy", Emanual Fingpong. He came in with a HUGE reputation and although we as fans were suspicious of why this young player who was tipped to be an England regular would chose to join little old Barnsley we were also excited to see him in action! Well, turns out we found out WHY he joined us. His head had gone, and was only concerned with his clothing line(DENCH?). He got sent off in the first 15 mins of his debut, then sent off on his return game if I remember correctly. He then made sporadic appearances off the bench for a few months while contributing nothing and let go, never to be heard of again!

The other was Mido, the Egyptian legend. I'm having to think back here, but I think it was shortly after leaving Spurs. The rumour mill started to churn, and everyone was buzzing at the thought. Even though he wasnt in his prime, he had to guarantee us 15 goals a season in the Championship. He was a top class striker not that long ago. Yeah, didnt work out like that. He turned up to training the size of a house. Took months to get "fit", and by get fit I mean he was now only the size of a starter home and when he finally did get on the pitch it lasted 13 minutes where he never touched the ball. He was released a day or two later. In his defence, he picked up an injury on the eve of the season starting, so maybe he could have sorted his fitness out had it not happened. 

Both were Free's like I said, but their wages must have cost us a fortune. Mido in particular wont have been cheap!