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Am I The Arsehole?


SuperBacon

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I'm really, really annoyed about this and have to rant.

So I've done a massively boring data task for a colleague of mine who is massively swamped. It's mundane, crap and if I didn't have music I'd have probably stomped on my laptop this week.

Anyway, she messages me to say thanks for all you're doing and you deserve a break. Asks me what my favourite coffee shop is, so I think "ooooh lovely, some nice grounded coffee coming my way" as they all know how much I love my coffee.

Then she messages me and asks if I fancy a walk? She lives about half an hour away so I'm really perplexed. She then tells me as a thank you there is a coffee waiting for me at my favourite coffee shop, ready in about 5 minutes.

I live a good 15 minute walk (and thats me on a stomp) from my village. I currently don't have a car (they all know this) so I will have to walk to get it. She's already paid for it. It's 4pm. 

I'm also working from home so I'm in my jogging bottoms and a very old football shirt so I'll have to get dressed properly. And the cat needs to be sorted out before I can leave the house. Again, they all know this.

So it's actually a 15 minute walk if I'm one foot out the door, so we're now looking at more likely a 45 minute round trip. At 4pm. 

I am annoyed. Massively. This is such a lovely gesture but I dunno, it feels almost selfish? What am I supposed to do, say no?*

So off I go, and I am stomping. I've been caught on the hoof at 4pm, when I didn't have plans to go out today and I am FUMING all the way there. I smoke about 6 snouts in around 10 minutes and seeth at every one and feel sick.

When I get to the cafe I am just raging. Because she has ordered it ages ago, its cold so off I schlep back home with a cold rank coffee I didn't even want. When I get in, I am drenched with sweat.

I have quite literally written this within minutes of being in and am mostly angry about my reaction. What an incredible tit im being. People are starving and dying in the world and this is what I'm angry at? Being bought a coffee? Grow up Bacon, get some perspective. 

And yet still, I am angry. And I think I have reason to be.

She's just messaged "How was the coffee?" "GREAT!!! THANKS!!! 👍👍👍

I hate myself.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I the arsehole?

 

*My ex said she would've said no.

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I probably would have said thank you and not collected without saying. 

I'm not sure it was a selfish gesture just very thoughtless. Id have probably bought someone a coffee or a pint the next time I see them. 

To answer your actual question, I understand why your peeved, I probably would do to. Her thank you basically meant more effort for you so you aren't being unreasonable.

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7 minutes ago, westlondonmist said:

I'm not sure it was a selfish gesture just very thoughtless

Yeah I meant thoughtless not selfish. It just assumes too much. Be different if I lived 5 minutes away or had a car, a 10 minute break out of my day at any time isn't unwelcome.

It was just the effort for a small coffee. I just couldn't be arsed. 

And I was worried that she would find out if I hadn't picked it up. Im too British.

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No good deed goes unpunished 😅 It all sounds pretty bizarre to be fair but as one of the great scholars of our time, Pie Face, says - just don’t worry about it mate

Reminds me of the time on holiday playing football with my kid. Someone else’s kid comes over to play, fine, so I’m looking after him as well as my own. Then we end the game and this kid walks off with our ball. I try to get it off him but his Dad starts shouting abuse at me for going near his kid. So because I let someone else play football with us I ended up with a load of abuse, people in the distance thinking I’m trying to nick some kids ball, and my kid crying because I’ve now lost her ball. 
So basically what I’m saying is sometimes you do nice things and shit still happens 😃

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8 minutes ago, DavidB6937 said:

What a fucking twat she is. Next week she'll buy you lunch but leave it in a shark cage to collect.

She's not, she's really lovely.

She obviously just didn't think and realise it would take a big chunk of time to go and get it.

As @King Coconut has mentioned, this is all my fault really.

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It was a nice gesture, if somewhat poorly executed. I totally get why you'd be annoyed by it. 

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A gift really shouldn’t require any effort on the recipients part. Every year my mum will ask what to get me for Christmas. Every year I say anything. Every year she says no tell me I haven’t got a clue. Every year I say you can’t go wrong with socks, undies or deodorant just don’t buy me clothes to wear. Every year she buys me clothes and gives me a receipt to change them. No mum! I won’t change them! I might buy her a smashing blouse to wear next Christmas, see how she likes it.

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Someone bought me a coffee.  Whaaaaa.

 I’ll have to get off my Arse and do a 15 minute walk.  Whaaaaa.

I’ve got to get dressed.  Whaaaaaaa.

 The cat needs a shit.  Whaaaaaaa.

 

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It could've been worse. You might have turned up stinking of sweat and fags and cat shit, in your ill-fitting human clothes, visibly fuming that your sugar and water's been ruined by adding coffee, and YAAAY! - there's your whole team gathered round a table to welcome the hero of the hour. Surprise! What kept you?

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