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25 years since my last good wank - Happy Anniversary Channel 5


IANdrewDiceClay

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Initially we only got Channel 5 on the front room telly which had a handheld aerial. As such, what we could watch on the channel until we got digital telly was considerably limited for a good while. I seem to recall stand up comedian Tim Vine was the host of the first show, which I don't even remember the name of. Countdown with Richard Whiteley it was not.

They used to have the Scotland games on in the early years, as I recall, commentated on by Jonathan Pearce which messed with my young brain as he sounded so much like the clearly-couldn't-be-the-same-bloke on Robot Wars. I still distinctly remember inviting my friends round to watch Holland vs. Scotland in the Euro 2004 qualifying playoffs, which I was naively and stupidly optimistic about having beaten them 1-0 at Hampden the Saturday before. After the fourth of six goals, we decided to play Britney's Dance Beat instead.

Let's face it though; it was all about the Friday night movies. What a time to be alive. 

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I remember being round at my mate's house the day it launched trying to tune his parents' living room TV so we could watch it at launch. I can't really say I've watched much on there. The occasional documentary I think. Sometimes a movie, as they used to have some decent movies on. There was the Sunset Beach omnibus on a Saturday for a while. 

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Night Fever was absolutely brilliant. Also I think that 100% has a shout at being the greatest quiz show of all time. Definitely between that and 15 to 1.

 

But let's talk about what really mattered. The late night stuff. Jonny Gould's fantastic hosting of baseball with a Yorkie hanging out of his mouth and Mike Carlson going on about Terry Funk all the time on the NFL coverage.

 

Oh, and the other late night stuff. Red Shoe Diaries, the far superior Hotline, and the two Shannon's - Tweed and Whirry - having me chuck more muck than an apprentice at Red Rum's stable. A real highlight was them going into the millennium. BBC had fireworks, Channel 4 had The Big Breakfast do a special. Channel 5 showed Emmanuelle. Marvellous.

 

But now as Channel 5's got older as a middle aged fuck I really enjoy a lot of what they show. The nature and agricultural shows they show are absolutely fantastic. Not as good as Havakazoo or Beachcomber Bay or that show with Short Order Cooks ex in it, but a load of interesting programmes about agriculture and canals and steam for a boring old villain like myself.

 

Also I think they were probably the last showing ever of Tiffany Jones in about 1999 as the star was embarrassed by it so bought the rights. Also shown Ups and Downs of a Handyman regularly and you can't beat those round and bouncy 1970s tits.

 

Also it have us the Shield to which I'm eternally grateful and 3am episodes of Prisoner Cell Block H and Beverly Hills 90210 on the weekend I'd watch coked off my tits in the mid 00s.

Edited by Butch2000
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54 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

The first series of The Farm was the best reality TV series ever. It was all downhill from there.

It was the best collection of talent ever. Rebecca Loos wanking off a pig. Stan Collymore walking out because he was neither going to hit someone or shag something. Vanilla Ice and Paul Daniels going at it like Rock and Mankind.

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I loved Night Fever. It was one of the shows my dad always put on and loved as well. And he’s a miserable bastard who hates tv.

I remember watching a few England games on there during that time. Was the England vs Italy game where England needed a point to qualify for the World Cup shown on there?

The best Sunday night cop show was also on Channel 5 - Martial Law. I know of one other person who watched it as all my mates had no clue what I was going on about. 

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4 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

The best Sunday night cop show was also on Channel 5 - Martial Law. I know of one other person who watched it as all my mates had no clue what I was going on about.

Really??? All my mates watched it. It was incredibly popular for a short period of time. Sammo was the best.

 

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1 minute ago, SuperBacon said:

Really??? All my mates watched it. It was incredibly popular for a short period of time. Sammo was the best.

 

Well I had one friend at school who watched it. And within my group of mates now, only one. It makes me wonder what shite everyone else watched on Sunday night instead of watching Sammo kick the shit out of someone. 

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Jack Docherty's chat show.

A really shit sketch show called We Know Where You Live that had Simon Pegg in it.

A reality show not long after Big Brother called something like Prison Break where the contestants were in a prison and had to break out. 

A surprisingly decent film every Friday night. 

WCW Worldwide.

Chelsea's Cup Winners Cup games. 

I watched the shit out of Channel 5 in the early days. I didn't have sky or cable so I was going to make to most of a new channel no matter if it was mostly dross and the picture was cat shit.  

Edited by gmoney
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9 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

Well I had one friend at school who watched it. And within my group of mates now, only one. It makes me wonder what shite everyone else watched on Sunday night instead of watching Sammo kick the shit out of someone. 

To your other point regarding Italy-England, wasn't on 5. Was live on Sky, immediate delayed showing on ITV. 

Might have been on 5 highlights?

 

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10 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

To your other point regarding Italy-England, wasn't on 5. Was live on Sky, immediate delayed showing on ITV. 

Might have been on 5 highlights?

 

Possibly. I may be misremembering it as I’m sure I watched an England game live on channel 5 earlier that year. Or maybe it was the year after. Or not at all and this is my Mandela Effect. 

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