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PowerButchi

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The Kiwis decide to go in with one bowler less on a green top and it looks like it's paying off, only for Brook and Root to grind them into dust. They were ruthless against the medium pace dobbers of Mitchell that were reminiscent of a young Lion bowling for Rustons against Claytons circa 1988, and treated in much the same contemptuous manner by the batsmen. If it hadn't rained England would probably have been over 400 on the opening day, which seems to be the new normal. 

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The first session and a half was almost like normal test match cricket. Then I fell asleep and missed Brook twatting it. Bloody foreign tours.

I love Neil Wagner though. He's made a successful career out of bowling bouncers and yorkers. His back will crumble to bits when he retires.

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After skittling the Kiwis for 209 first time around in 53.2 overs I'm pretty sure you'd have got decent odds on Root taking the wicket of one of the openers and them losing their first wicket after 52.5 overs. New Zealand will probably need to bat all day tomorrow and half of day 5 to stop England trying to chase whatever they set though. 

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In the true spirit of cricket that was some crazy shit. Brook getting diamond ducked by Root after hitting the ball to slip and calling him through for a single has to be one of the worst decisions I've seen since an umpire i was with called wide for a ball that was hit to point. Root may be a great batsman but his running between the wickets can be interesting, I mean he was calling a clearly hobbled Stokes for some sharp singles as well. 

Wagner changed the game though. That short pitched bowling and a couple of good catches did for England. You had to feel sorry for Jimmy at the end. How many of his test wickets would he sell to have got the last 2 runs? Quite a few I'd imagine. 

A great game though, cricket was the winner 

 

 

 

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I've seen worse but rarely at a professional level. 

I can't find it but it must have been around the year 2000. Marcus Trescothick bowling in Pakistan. He got a really soft wicket and then a few balls later he had Inzamam plumb LBW, back leg in front of middle stump. Given not out. 

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So it's the return of club cricket tomorrow!

Well actually it isn't. We're already rained off - 4 points on the board already.

A few leagues have been proactive and rearranged the whole round of fixtures - the South Yorkshire League is shite though, so we haven't.

Anyone else playing this season? I'm gonna do a diary of the season on here so you can all follow the Wath CC 2023 promotion push!

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Somewhat of a damp squib all round at the weekend for this side of the country. Good luck with your season Max. Actual live cricket is going to be impossible for me this season due to a change in family circumstances but still looking forward to the season. 

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Fielded first today. Opposition managed 149 on a sticky deck. Their opener scored 51 - which was surely worth 80 in the middle of summer with a fast outfield. Max Power managed to take 3-47 off his 15 overs.

Tea was pretty good - nice bowl of pasta, a couple of cheese and onion sarnies and a scone.

Our run chase was grim. 40-1 from 12 before yours truly over balanced and was stumped for 17. Our Australian hit a few bombs and was caught and bowled for 28. Their Indian spinner then bamboozled the lower order finishing with 7-34. He did chuck it, but bowled really well.

Onwards and upwards!

Edited by Max Power
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Two games this weekend.

Saturday saw our first league victory against Conisbrough - who had their Sri Lankan Overseas removed from the attack for bowling consecutive beamers at our number 8. He did not enjoy it. We limped to 138/9 (M. Power 0) before smashing through the opposition for just 42 (Power 1/3). Always nice to get a first win on the board.

We played in the 40 over cup yesterday - pink balls, coloured clothing etc. We drew Green Moor - a side from the division below, with a wonderfully Yorkshire ground (the clue is in the name). They were all out for 92 (Power 3/17) and we knocked off for one - our Aussie smashed 77* off 38 balls.

On a side note, it's really weird writing my figures as Power.

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He should get reported to the league for the beamers as well Max. That's the kind of thing that would get you a ban around here. 

Speaking of which. My mate Ian has umpired two matches this year and has had to report a player in each. The first was a batsmen who played the ball and was caught in the gully, and then stood his ground as if he hadn't hit it. When Ian gave him out he shouted "YOU ARE FUCKING JOKING" and smashed into he stumps out of the ground. Reported and a 3 game ban for him. 

The next week the new law about not using saliva on the ball caused 5 penalty runs and another report. 

The funny thing is, Ian has been umpiring 15 years, and never reported anyone. He's not happy having done two in two weeks. 

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The saliva thing nearly caught us out in our first game - its just second nature.

The umpires spoke about reporting the bowler, but it was clearly accidental (just unpleasant). He's played in the league for the last few years and must be the nicest fast bowler I've ever met. He was trying to bowl yorkers at the end of the innings with a damp ball. He's "not that kind of player" Clive. It can't have been pleasant though.

Nice work from the batter in your post. The best sledge from Saturday from our game was after their opener shouldered arms and was given LBW. Our keeper (a rather rotund chap) said "that was terrible mate" and the bloke replied quick as a flash "AT LEAST MY TROUSERS FIT YOU FAT CUNT". 

Amazing.

Edited by Max Power
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I've had to write that report Max, and the law is clear you do have to write one. You can make it clear in the report that it was accidental and while you can't recommend no further action in the report, I always included a separate unofficial note when I felt that taking them off was punishment enough. 

As an umpire I am supposed to take a dim view of sledging but that is top quality work. However I am one of the few umpires in our leagues to be politely reminded not to sledge players. I also sledged a fat wicketkeeper by suggesting he wouldn't give away so many byes if he imagined the ball was a pasty. Everyone else found it funny but not him, and considering I myself have a very fast pie arm and a very slow metabolism it was a bit rich. 

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In a cup final last year a Lancashire junior showed he hadn't learned much about sledging when his bowling was hammered all over, using the rather geneic "fat cunt" and "specky cunt". When he was leaving the ground his mum was carrying his gear and my taunt of "if you play in the big boys' league you should carry your own bags" made him blush a bit. It seemed to have robbed him of the power of speech too.

Our season has got off to a bit of a slow start, with the league cancelling the first week in its entirety due to most grounds not being ready, then the second week only saw two premiership league matches take place because of weather. Still, we're off to a decent start with a convincing league away win against last year's runners-up, plus wins in the league's own cup and the slightly more prestigious Heavy Woollen Cup. And as an added bonus, the evil empire at Hoylandswaine have started their quest for a sixth consecutive league title in somewhat embarrassng form, with their new and supposedly improved batting ling-up getting hammered by 115 runs, with only one batsman making it to double figures. Hopefully this means it'll be a slightly more competitive title race this year, the league needs it. 

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