Petty Revenge Stories

[Chest Rockwell]

This morning I was walking from the tube to the office, as I always do. I went through the first of a few sets of doors and as I did I held it for the woman coming through behind me. In holding it I did the traditional half turn, so we made eye contact. She didn't so much as even give a slight nod of acknowledgement.

By the next set of doors she had overtaken me, and although I was coming through right behind her she didn't bother to hold the door.

I made a point of overtaking her before the final set of doors. When I got there, I held it open for someone slowly approaching from another direction so that he could go through, then slid through myself letting it swing shut in her face. I didn't turn back to look at her but this filled me with incredible satisfaction nonetheless. 

[Wretch]

When I was doing the house sharing thing, I had a housemate who'd constantly be at my stuff in the fridge, in particular the milk. Fucker would do it in front of me aswell, he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it. One morning, noticing I only had maybe a mouthful of milk left, I pissed in it filling it up a fair bit and watched about 15 mins later as he poured it onto his frosties and ate them. 

He had it coming.

[Chest Rockwell]

5 minutes ago, Wretch said:

When I was doing the house sharing thing, I had a housemate who'd constantly be at my stuff in the fridge, in particular the milk. Fucker would do it in front of me aswell, he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it. One morning, noticing I only had maybe a mouthful of milk left, I pissed in it filling it up a fair bit and watched about 15 mins later as he poured it onto his frosties and ate them. 

He had it coming.

This either didn't happen or he is a fucking idiot. It wouldn't look or smell anything like milk.

[SuperBacon]

3 minutes ago, Ralphy said:

got attacked by a cow, ate burgers the day after 

Yeah, but those cows were already dead, and let's face it, you were asking for it. 

 

[DEF]

Never rev your engine whilst I cross a zebra crossing. I will slow down like you won't believe. Same goes for being audibly impatient when I'm buying a train ticket.

[Wretch]

7 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

This either didn't happen or he is a fucking idiot. It wouldn't look or smell anything like milk.

I can tell you this absolutely did happen. I didn't empty all of my piss into it, only enough to fill it up to where it would do for a bowl of cereal. Rest went into the kitchen sink. There was a pong though.

[Chest Rockwell]

Ah man. That's really gross..

[King of Hamptons]

56 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

This morning I was walking from the tube to the office, as I always do. I went through the first of a few sets of doors and as I did I held it for the woman coming through behind me. In holding it I did the traditional half turn, so we made eye contact. She didn't so much as even give a slight nod of acknowledgement.

By the next set of doors she had overtaken me, and although I was coming through right behind her she didn't bother to hold the door.

I made a point of overtaking her before the final set of doors. When I got there, I held it open for someone slowly approaching from another direction so that he could go through, then slid through myself letting it swing shut in her face. I didn't turn back to look at her but this filled me with incredible satisfaction nonetheless. 

I always hold doors open for people, my dad always made me as a kid. I did it one day to someone and she flipped out asking me why I would do that? Does she think as a women she not capable of opening doors? 

[Carbomb]

34 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

Yeah, but those cows were already dead, and let's face it, you were asking for it. 

 

Exactly, he should've respected their space. Remember: "Moo" means "moo".

[TheToeSucker]

43 minutes ago, Wretch said:

When I was doing the house sharing thing, I had a housemate who'd constantly be at my stuff in the fridge, in particular the milk. Fucker would do it in front of me aswell, he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it. One morning, noticing I only had maybe a mouthful of milk left, I pissed in it filling it up a fair bit and watched about 15 mins later as he poured it onto his frosties and ate them. 

He had it coming.

if I knew you pissed in my milk, You'd get a slap.

[gmoney]

27 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Ah man. That's really gross..

And a massive overreaction to some stolen milk. Have a word with him like a human being, you fucking sociopath. 

[TheToeSucker]

Just now, gmoney said:

And a massive overreaction to some fucking milk.Have a word with him like a human being, you fucking sociopath. 

Was gonna say, he's lucky he didn't get a hiding for that, or reported to the police. Y'know because you can be reported for that.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Got bollocked by a teacher at school, so stole the remote control to the telly and video and threw it in the pond outside.

[Harry Wiseau]

6 minutes ago, TheToeSucker said:

Was gonna say, he's lucky he didn't get a hiding for that, or reported to the police. Y'know because you can be reported for that.

get reported to the police for pissing in your own milk? it wasn't the other guys milk, it was the pissers milk. i think it fits better in the "worse thing you've done to another human being" then "petty revenge" but if he wants to piss in his own milk it's his lookout. he could spunk in his butter if he wants, its his property.

[SuperBacon]

Just realised it’s the actual coming to life of the phrase “Who pissed on your cornflakes?” and the fact that he didn’t say it, should mean you hang your head in shame forever @Wretch