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WWE: the remake


HarmonicGenerator

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Had this thought in the Raw thread this morning and I think it's got potential… we'll see.

 

The situation is this: Vince has realised that there may never be another boom period in wrestling. He's worried that things will continue to gradually go downhill. So, taking inspiration from modern Hollywood and their infatuation with rebooting and remaking every classic they can get their hands on, he's going to do the same.

 

The Age of Hulkamania is coming back, brother. The boom period of the late 1980s will be rebooted and remade by WWE. Same characters (they own all the trademarks and there are no legal issues with that because this is hypothetical), same angles, same names, same everything, except it's modern now.

 

Vince is going to use his current roster to play the characters of the period. They will abandon everything about their current selves in order to play these new/old characters.

 

But who would be who in this remake of WWE's golden age?

 

Loligan had the superb idea in the Raw thread of casting Braun Strowman as Hulk Hogan. I think that'd work fine. Dye his hair blonde, shave some off, give him a tache and dress him in the red and yellow and that'd do it.

 

That's the kind of out-of-the-box thinking I want to hear in this thread! It's too easy to go Rusev = Nikolai Volkoff or Usos = Wild Samoans. If you think one of the current guys (or girls - just like Hollywood, feel free to change the race or gender of characters - we're not beholden to the original!) would fit, go with it.

 

In addition to the Hogan suggested above, I would go with Seth Rollins as 'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase, because they've both got such a dynamic, identifiable laugh. I'm going to make Roman Reigns be Virgil for the eventual turn on DiBiase.

 

Bray Wyatt would be Hillbilly Jim because they've both got big beards and like to wear hats. Bray would suit the dungarees as well. I think Big E would do a grand arm flap so I'm going with Big E as Koko B Ware.

 

I'd have to cast Dean Ambrose as Jake 'the Snake' Roberts because he's the only one greasy enough to pull it off. Dolph Ziggler will be Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine because he can go for 15 minutes, and Cesaro will be Dino Bravo because the natural progression of the twat siren is to become Dino.

 

 

This still leaves many many roles to be cast in the rebooted WWE. We need a Macho Man, Roddy Piper, Bushwhackers, Rockers, British Bulldogs, Rick Rude, Ricky Steamboat, Ultimate Warrrior, Elizabeth, JYD, Andre the Giant, Warlord, Barbarian, Hercules, Twin Towers etc etc. Who will you have play these classic characters in the newly reimagined WWE Universe?

 

 

(If anyone can do Photoshops of any of these castings that would be amazing…)

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Luke Harper's got to be Macho Man, surely? Wild eyes, crazy hair. Kit him out in a bandana and a golden robe. Perfect!

Who'd be Liz though?

Absolutely! He could carry the Mega Powers exploding and the cobra angle, no problem.

 

Bayley as Liz?

 

Hmmm, I'm thinking Rosa Mendes as Liz for some reason. Give her bigger hair and a long dress....

 

Baron Corbin's got to be Jake the Snake I think. Can imagine him with that bag over his shoulder walking to the ring.

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