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WWE: the remake


HarmonicGenerator

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Personally I think purely for size and build strowman would have to be Andre as I don't think anyone is coming along for a good while bigger than him.

 

Then I would have Mojo Rawley as the rebooted hogan. He fits the big guy in bright colours plus he has the cocaine energy buy can still pass the wellness policy.

 

But in all seriousness

 

Honky Tonk Slater = $$$$

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Jack Swagger as Sgt Slaughter. Big patriot shitarse turning his back on his country.

 

It feels a bit lazy but also quite apt to say Revival=Brainbusters

Nah, I see Revival as The Bushwhackers. Shave Wilder's head and have them come out to the music doing the head licking, wacky walk, all that stuff. 

 

Obvious - Dolph Ziggler = Mr Perfect. Cocky prick who can bump like a mother fucker. Have David Otunga as The Genius.

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For some reason I match AJ and Steamboat together. I think its because there both great workers who I assosciate with other companys.

 

I absolutely would want Rusev as the Big Bossman and Kevin Owens as Akeem the African dream

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Kevin Owens as the Big Boss man. Then he'd turn heel by announcing that he's actually a Mountie.

I was thinking Owens as the Canadian Earthquake - making Sami Zayn a natural for Typhoon once he's put a bit of chub on - but he's a great choice for Boss Man or Mountie.

 

Ultimate Warrior's a tough one to cast. Big Cass has the size, but Neville's got the physique, and if he goes broad enough with the Geordie it could pass for Warriorese. He could do his part in the Savage feud well enough, but the big press finish of WrestleMania VI could prove difficult given the height difference...

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Xavier woods is definitely made to be slick. I'd have crews as warrior I'm sure he can run a bit and he is big and musclye. Lots more obvious ones like big show as bundy.

 

If I was going back to the start of the rock n wrestling connection though I'd go with these key players

 

Hogan - strongman piper - Jericho (loved the suggestions) Lou albano (edge with full beard) Wendi Richter ( becky lynch ) moolah ( Charlotte or a returning laundry blaze for the age gap) lauper ( I guess Selena Gomez or someone shit)

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If he was a little bit taller (Skee Lo ™) then surely Cena is the Hulkster?. Apollo I would have as Warrior. Sandow brought back to be Macho. Dolph is Mr Perfect. American Alpha would be the new Rockers. Big Show as Andre. Big E as JYD. Kofi as Koko, Xavier as Butch Reed. Y2J as Hot Rod. Rusev as Nikolai. Rollins as Bret. Bo as IRS. Bray as Jake if he lost some weight or Uncle Elmer. Luke Harper as Hillbilly Jim. Big Cass as Taker. Bliss as a brunette as Liz. Jack Swagger as Sgt Slaughter. The Usos as the Wild Samoans. Braun as Earthquake. Zack with a beard as DiBiase. Cesaro as the Mountie. Owens as Tugboat/Typhoon. Sami as Barry Horowitz. Randy Orton as Paul Orndorff. Sheamus as the Warlord. Enzo as a skinnier Capt Lou. Mark Henry as the Big Boss Man. Roman as The Barbarian. Mojo as Hacksaw. Dean as Terry Funk. The Ascension as Demolition. Sasha as Sherri. Kalisto and Mistico as the Conquistadors. Heath as Honky. Tyler as The Model. Neville as the Bulldog. If I think of anymore I'll add them.

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Neville as the Bulldog? I'm not convinced - maybe have him as Dynamite and (bear with me here) Kalisto as Davey Boy. If for no other reason than that he's a match in mic skills.

 

Like the idea of Apollo as Warrior. I'm going to change my mind on Big E and suggest he'd be great as the Bossman (with an interesting new dynamic when OMG becomes Akeem).

 

Those two castings should help counter the whitewashing elsewhere, because I think Brock Lesnar could make a decent Bad News Brown, and I think that Rusev could easily play double tough and be Haku.

 

Lots of suggestions of Jericho as Roddy Piper, and I can certainly see it, but I think out of anyone, Jericho might be the best fit for Bobby Heenan. So much to carry with mic work for the Brain, and I can't think of anyone other than Jericho who would do it better. The role of Piper I'd actually give to Enzo Amore. He'd look reasonable in the kilt, he's got the confidence for the celebrity involvement, and he could bust out the occasional classic match and rely on his talking for the rest.

 

Also interesting how Mojo Rawley has come up a few times - surely he's a match for Hacksaw Jim Duggan? Stick a wig on, put him in blue and give him a wonky contact lens and you're set!

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