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Best promo/commentary zingers


Carbomb
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We've all seen and heard some brilliant insults in wrestling over the years, especially from the likes of Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Kurt Angle, Jim Cornette and so on.

 

Here are some off the top of my head I loved:

 

(Lawler on Santino) "He's the reason God gave us a middle finger."

 

(Lawler on Kozlov) "If he wants a friend he's gonna have to buy a dog."

 

(Bobby Heenan on Virgil coming out 22nd at the Rumblus) "That's 21 other guys' bags he's had time to go through."

 

(Roddy Piper on seeing Mr. T's director's chair with his name on it) "I'm guessing that's so you don't get lost."

 

(Kurt Angle on being in Montreal) "There's nothing great about a city full of Canadians who wish they were French."

 

(The Undertaker owning the crowd) "Say 'What' if you like sleeping with your sister."

 

(Santino ruminating on which celebrity friend Stone Cold is going to bring with him) "Maybe it's-a Tom Hanks with the AIDS."

 

Post yours!

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Bobby Heenan on Koko B Ware dancing out in the 1993 Royal Rumble.

 

"Did somebody call a cab?"

 

"A friend in need is a pest."

 

Roddy Piper at the Battle Royal at the Royal Albert Hall calling Ric Flair a "Feather wearing fucking freak" by mistake.

Edited by stevieg1980
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This thread could be filled with Heenan quotes alone. One of his lesser ones always gets a chuckle out of me. Not sure if it's Wrestlemania 8 or SummerSlam 1992 but when Tatanka does his war dance, Heenan quips "Is he dancing or is there a tack in his shoe?" Not quite a massive zinger, but he has some of the best one liners out there.

 

 

Heenan at WM17:

 

"By the time The [iron] Sheik gets to the ring, it'll be Wrestlemania 38!"

 

 

I really hope that at Wrestlemania 38, provided he's still with us, they do a call-back to this. Just have him wander out during the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

 

Another great one from The Brain on Hogans music.

 

"This is my 2nd favourite song!"

 

"I'm almost afraid to ask... what's your favourite?"

 

"All the rest are tied."

Edited by neil is brill
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From my review of Bret/Shawn at WM12:

 

Another great Lawler line follows as he asks if Michaels gave lothario one of his five Slammys the previous night. When McMahon confirms it, he says "That'll be in a pawn shop in Tijuana tomorrow".

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There's a great one on a Superstars or Challenge show from 1988 when Rick Rude is doing his pose at the start of a jobber match which goes something like this:

 

Jesse Ventura: Can you hear all those screams out there Gorilla? The ladies love him!

Gorilla Monsoon: How do you know that's the ladies cheering Jess? It could be men.

Jesse Ventura: Nah - Patterson's not in tonight!

Edited by The Reverend
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Jerry Lawler: Earl Hebners such a bad father he let's his 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

 

One I often use-

 

JR: Paul Bearers lost alot of weight, King.

Lawler: Yeah but if he turns around he'll find it.

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CM Punk to Rock - 'Your arms are just too short to box with God'

 

Kurt Angle to Undertaker: 'I'll show you are exactly what you say you are - both bad and an ass!'

 

Kurt Angle to Undertaker: 'Undertaker... if that is your real name...'

 

Kurt Angle to John Cena: Wow John, I didn't think it was possible but I think I finally found someone in the company who's whiter than I am.

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