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Ranking the WrestleManias - The Bottom 10


Liam O'Rourke

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Its better than Sid/Hogan, Macho/DiBiasi (no one remembers anything but the finish, it's a nothing match that people bypass because of the workers), it's better than both Bret/Yoko matches that are harmed by there length and daft finishes and I'll be honest I'd rather watch it than the Iron Man Match because it's not a fucking hour of hand jobbing with a one minute happy ending.

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WrestleMania XI was even shit when I was a kid. LT vs Bam Bam is great in terms of appreciating how well Bam Bam did to carry a non-worker, but as a child my idea of a football star was if Teddy Sheringham was fighting Bigelow. No idea who the fuck LT was at the time, and didnt care. Diesel vs Shawn Michaels was good, but the rest ranged from passable to dull as fuck. Razor vs Jarrett was a worse version of their Rumble match, the Harris Brothers vs Bulldog and Luger was exactly what it sounds like, Backlund vs Bret Hart was even worse than the match at Survivor Series (which was really shite) and Bundy vs Undertaker seemed to exist only for Kama to steal the urn. Also the tag team title match was also more of a way to establish the new team of Yokozuna and Owen Hart. Most of these matches came off like a modern day episode of Raw, where stuff is built for later down the road. I was just watching 95-era Superstars around the build to this, and the lack of interest going into it from everyone who wasn't Vince McMahon is hilarious. Vince is all over the dick of the celebrities. Rarely even mentions the wrestlers on the show. All I thought watching it was in 1994 Vince's trail ended and the company was rattled and on its arse a bit. So this was the first post-scandal WrestleMania. So it was kind of like a reboot of the first WrestleMania. They just filled it with celebrities. The problem was, they didnt have any wrestling stars anymore. Diesel, Bret, Shawn, Razor and Undertaker werent Hogan, Piper, Andre, JYD and Snuka. And LT and Pamela Anderson (who were big in the news at the time) werent Mr T and Muhammed Ali. So its no wonder it bombed. You really should see the intro to this thing. There has to be about 15 celebs on there. They just got everyone they could find. Jenny McCarthy, that little tosser from Home Improvement, Salt N Peppa (who blew the roof off actually, they were awesome), Nick Turturro was there, a load of NFL players. They even wheeled out (not literally, but maybe they did before hand) some Special Olympian to sing the national anthem. Sort of a highlight how out of touch Vince was in 1995, because nothing about this show represented why wrestling became massive some 18 months later.

 

What is funny is, they broadcast a special on Fox (because it was going to be such a groundbreaking success, people HAD to see this on TV as well), and by the time it aired Mongo McMichael was doing announcing for WCW. So they had to cut all of Mongo's stuff out, even though he was the crazy man of LT's All Pro Team, and was working spots with the Million Dollar Corporation. So that must have been a pain in the arse. Also the intro to that show was done by some Hank Williams Jr looking bloke doing a parody of the Monday Night Football theme (the American one, not the show with Andy Gray and Richard Keys in 95 on Sky Sports) which included the worst lyric ever. "Tattoed head, make 'em take back what he said." Ugh.

 

Oh, one last thing, the entrances for the Million Dollar Corporation are amazing. Most of them were old, fat and/or broken down in 95. So seeing them run to the ring, like they were entering the field of play is hilarious. Volkov, Bundy and DiBiase especially looked knackered.

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9 reasons Wrestlemania 9 was alright.

 

1) Heenan going backwards on the elephant.

 

2) The cracking Tatanka v HBK opener.

 

3) Razor Ramon.

 

4) The superb twin Doinks twist.

 

5) The obviously great Steiners v Headshrinkers match.

 

6) "You can't kill the Undertaker because he's already dead!"

 

7) Yokozuna v Bret Hart was more than acceptable.

 

8) Hogan beats the "Jap".

 

9) Razor Ramon.

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16 is really poor in the context of the year it was in

 

BINGO. I've snipped the rest because it's defending the show, which I have no intention of doing.

 

No show in the history of the WWF disappointed me more than WrestleMania 16, because the roster had never been stronger and the TV was enjoyable every week, the Pay Per Views were enjoyable and they should have had no problem whatsoever knocking out a Mania that even if it wasn't memorable for other reasons, at least could have delivered a card of great matches. I have no idea who looked at that card and thought "that'll be ace." It looks like the prototype for the modern "get everyone on the card whether they deserve it or not." Maybe I just hate it because I think of Mania as where you have your big feuds blown off in the biggest singles matches you can do and short of The Kat vs Terri, there isn't a bastard singles match to be seen, but it's more than that.

 

It's a feast of inconsequential tag matches and a battle royal underneath that don't do anything for me, the crowd seem muted for both falls of Angle/Benoit/Jericho which both feel rushed, and to be honest losing both belts without having to be pinned (while I appreciate what they were going for with Kurt being a crybaby at the end) wasn't exactly the big "heel comeuppance" I would have liked for him. If the cage match that Kane and X-Pac had at Armageddon wasn't going to be their blow off (and it should have been) they surely they should have saved their last singles match for Mania rather than throw it out at No Way Out and have the pair of them meet again in a Pete Rose comedy tag.

 

The main event left a real bad taste in my mouth from the moment it was set up as Mick Foley was pissing away what had been a superb bowing out at No Way Out and I thought him and Big Show belonged nowhere near the main event which SHOULD have been Rock executing Triple H and taking his place back at the summit where he belonged. THAT'S WrestleMania. The match itself was plodding and meandering at points and by the end I just wanted it to be over, and when it did end, it was the wrong ending. Fucked me off no end, it literally felt like they were going for unpredictable for the sake of it. Literally the only thing on that Mania I choose to watch again, ever, is the tag team title ladder match, which for a 2000 PPV is amazing, never mind Wrestle-fucking-Mania. It's a limp B show in my eyes and virtually every other PPV of the year had either better matches, more noteworthy occurrences, or both.

 

 

Bulldog/Warlord (shockingly good match)

 

I love that match so much. Such simplistic storytelling, but it's done so well. The look of shock when Warload looks at his hands when Davey Boy breaks the full nelson, then the pop when Smithers picks him up for the powerslam... it makes my spine tingle.

 

I'm not having 7 anywhere near the bottom 10. Beyond the obvious career-ending match and opener, Perfect vs Boss Man was loads of fun and The Harts vs The Nasty Boys was better than it should have been too. There were a couple of duds and there was actually no point in Tito and The Mountie getting in the ring, but on the whole I enjoyed the show.

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the Harris Brothers vs Bulldog and Luger was exactly what it sounds like

I have a real fondness for that match based purely on how long it was since I'd seen any new WWF. The last show I'd seen was probably Survivor Series. I had a mate who told me everything that happened in the Rumble and then didn't lend me the tape. I was surviving on watching the 5 or 6 tapes I owned at the time on loop.

 

Then I got hold of Wrestlemania. After such a drought, it felt massive. Bulldog and Luger vs. two giants with long hair. Such a relief.

 

In hindsight, it's like been celibate for 8 months and then shagging Bella Emberg but I still remember the fat heffer fondly!

 

I'd recovered enough to hate everything else below the main event though. So Souch shite.

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I feel a bit defensive of Mania 11. It was quite bad, sure. But the two main events saved it for me. I thought Michaels/Diesel was so good. Excellent even, a very underrated match.

 

And Taylor/Bambam was a spectacle too. As well put together a match as you'll get, IMO.

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WrestleMania XI was even shit when I was a kid.

This. Wrestlemania XI was the first show I ever remember thinking of as a bad show. I'd only recently started forming the idea of "bad" wrestling in my head. Undertaker vs Undertaker and the Rumble 95 matches stand out in particular as being two matches I was disappointed in a few months earlier. Before then I had never really considered good and bad. Wrestling was wrestling and it was all awesome to my little head, but then WM XI came along and was such a steaming pile of shit that for years I would name it as my least favourite show of all time.

 

WAY worse that WM9 which at least had a bit of fun about it.

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Really never liked HBK/Diesel on that show, it only worked in the 96 rematch, plus that rotter of a powerbomb finish.

I've always had a high opinion of it and watched it again recently. I was surprised, to me it was even better than I remembered. Difference of opinion, but it's just a match I've always greatly enjoyed whereas others haven't.
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I cant understand why 6 rates so low? Is it because it's of it's time. The matches by and large delivered away from the hype of the main. So I dont get why it's so pissed on on forums and what not.  Which ever one was before the Flo rida one was the drizzling shits most of the mid 20's are, which is wrong, but they all segue into each other which is even more alarming 

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WrestleMania XI was even shit when I was a kid.

the Rumble 95 matches stand out in particular as being two matches I was disappointed in a few months earlier.

 

Another topic where I seem to be in the minority, but I think Rumble '95 was nothing short of brilliant. A masterpiece of a story, Shawn and Bulldog starting and finishing together. The "one foot" thing. I think it was booked and played out to absolute perfection. Probably my favourite Rumble moment.
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I can't remember what thread I posted it in, but I always enjoyed the idea of this as a Mania XI card.

 

Diesel w/LT v Shawn w/Sid

Taker v Bigelow

Bret w/Piper v Owen w/Backlund

Razor v Jarrett

Smoking Gunns v Hakushi & Yokozuna

Blayze/Bull Nakano

Bulldog, Luger, Kid & Bob Holly v Kama, Bundy, IRS & Tatanka

Adam Bomb/Kwang

MOM/ New Headshrinkers

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the Rumble 95 matches stand out in particular as being two matches I was disappointed in a few months earlier.

 

Another topic where I seem to be in the minority, but I think Rumble '95 was nothing short of brilliant. A masterpiece of a story, Shawn and Bulldog starting and finishing together. The "one foot" thing. I think it was booked and played out to absolute perfection. Probably my favourite Rumble moment.

 

The story itself was fine and would have been remembered much more fondly if it wasn't part of such a shit Rumble match.  Being the first and last two didn't seem like much of an achievement when

 

a) the match lasted only slightly longer than the WWF Title match from earlier in the night

and

b) the list of entrants looks like its taken from a really crap episode of Wrestling Challenge

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