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Crap terms of endearment


Devon Malcolm

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I call my daughter Smellbum. It was originally Smellbone*, but her Mum kept getting it wrong and the bum version eventually stuck.

 

 

*Taken from "smell bone in cat's bum". A clue with an unfortunate typo from the Crude Word Crossword in an old Comic Relief book.

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To the chaps who say their pet names are emasculating what's the alternative? I personally don't mind being called poppet nose

 

You will now you've told the UKFF about it.

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There was a hideous trend of young, working class, Glaswegian males calling people "fella" a few years back. I cringed everytime I heard it. When that fucked off after six months "lad" popped up. Then promptly fucked off. We seem to be in the middle of the "bro" period. I bumped into a  guy I knew at school a few weeks back who kept saying it literally at the end of each sentence, bro, In this annoying wanky Uni accent.

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Man , lad, mate etc is the language of men. Some cultures kiss, hug or shake hands when they see each other. I'd much rather a "brother" or "mate" than actual human contact. Plus "brother" reminds me of Desmond off of Lost. Hate being called "boy" though.

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I'm not big on touching strangers. I can go a handshake but anything more makes me uncomfortable. Don't hug mates. My wife's family can be very touchy feely and I tend to avoid the good bye hugs and embraces. My wife and kids are fine though.

 

I wasn't 'touched' or anything when I was a kid and my mum says I was a really affectionate baby. Issues man.

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There was a hideous trend of young, working class, Glaswegian males calling people "fella" a few years back. I cringed everytime I heard it. When that fucked off after six months "lad" popped up. Then promptly fucked off. We seem to be in the middle of the "bro" period. I bumped into a  guy I knew at school a few weeks back who kept saying it literally at the end of each sentence, bro, In this annoying wanky Uni accent.

In Liverpool, you can tell how scummy someone is by how often they use the word "lad" (or the more retarded "la" version).

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Dyllan's nick name is Bug. Started calling him Bug pretty soon after he was born and I have no idea why. It stuck because we would also call him Dyllybutt and we couldn't exactly say that loudly in public and it changed to Dyllybug, so ended up being called Bug. I rarely call him by his actual name now unless it's around people who don't know us closely. 

 

I hate partners calling each other 'babe' or 'baby' yet I find myself doing it without thinking, like some form of self harming tourettes. Girls that call their partners Daddy from the get go, or even just men they sleep with makes me shudder. Heard someone say that in Southampton the other day in John Lewis. A pretty manky looking couple all over each other and from what I could see he had just treated her (better than Elizabeth Duke I guess) and they embraced eating each others faces before she said quite loudly "I love you Daddy!"

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Ugh... "daddy". It's all over Tumblr like a rash — some perverts demanding to be "daddy"/some damaged women wanting to call some pervert "daddy" means all sorts of uncomfortable-sounding shite. Also... "cummies". If I ever heard someone say "cummies" in the real world, I think I'd run away.

 

EDIT - Oh, aye, I'd forgotten about living on the cusp of south yorkshire, and hearing people call each other "owd towel" and "blow broth".

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