The Official UKFF RAW Thread...

[Glass Smash]

I agree with the comments about this New Day stable they are rubbish. Putting them as babyfaces is the worst thing WWE could've done. Especially when they were teasing a Kofi heel turn prior.  But maybe they wont be around for very long. After all they are wearing baby blue colours.

[Daaaaaad!]

I'm hoping this crappy face run with New Day will be short-lived in order for them to all turn heel.

[Winston]

I agree with the comments about this New Day stable they are rubbish. Putting them as babyfaces is the worst thing WWE could've done. Especially when they were teasing a Kofi heel turn prior.  But maybe they wont be around for very long. After all they are wearing baby blue colours.

 

Yeah it's really hokey at the moment. They're basically a 3MB like stable. Give me those angry young men from a few months ago and start fucking shit up!

[PunkStep]

After all they are wearing baby blue colours.

Damn good point, I missed that connection. Ta-da lads.

[GavinSAFC]

Cena's promo before the Rowan/Harper match was brilliant. The bloke doesn't get enough credit for some of his mic work.

 

How am I supposed to get excited for the Ryback and Kane match when they book them in a mid card tag team match on RAW, having them be the first two to face off? Sometimes the booking logic in the WWE is baffling. I'm no expert but you'd think keeping PPV opponents apart until the actual event rather than give anything away on TV makes more sense than putting them in pointless tag bouts that do nothing to further the story.

Edited December 9, 2014 by GavinSAFC

[JNLister]

Annoying when you think the match is a shoot but then you hear a spot being called and you're like "Shit, I think this might be ANOTHER fake match! Fuck this shit."

 

No, it's annoying when you are trying to suspend your disbelief but hearing a spot called makes that harder. In the same way that it would be annoying if you watched a film or a play at the theatre knowing it was acting, were getting into the story, then heard the director shout out some stage directions or remind somebody of their line.

 

By the "everyone know it's fake" logic, it would have been no problem at all if at WrestleMania Lesnar had Undertaker up for the third F5, held him there while Tony Chimmel got on the house mike and shouted "WWE matches are all predetermined and the winner of this match was arranged earlier tonight", while Lesnar and Undertaker shook hands and smiled, then Lesnar did the move and got the pin. Wouldn't have told the fans anything that most of them didn't know, but I reckon it might have spoiled the moment a bit.

[Snitsky's back acne]

 In the same way that it would be annoying if you watched a film or a play at the theatre knowing it was acting, were getting into the story, then heard the director shout out some stage directions or remind somebody of their line.

 

 

 

 

Never go and see a Brechtian performance then.

[SpursRiot2012]

Watched Raw for the first time in a little while. I tend to dip in and out but keep up with what's going on.

 

I don't know how you guys who watch weekly, without fail, can do it. I'd put my shoe through the TV. See you guys around the Rumble.

[JNLister]

 

 In the same way that it would be annoying if you watched a film or a play at the theatre knowing it was acting, were getting into the story, then heard the director shout out some stage directions or remind somebody of their line.

 

 

 

 

Never go and see a Brechtian performance then.

 

 

Already got a thread for that.   

[PunkStep]

Watched Raw for the first time in a little while. I tend to dip in and out but keep up with what's going on.

 

I don't know how you guys who watch weekly, without fail, can do it. I'd put my shoe through the TV. See you guys around the Rumble.

Ha! This, totally. My new way of keeping up to date is reading The Linus Report© and then fast forwarding to any bits that looked good in said report. Which is usually one, maybe two things. Three hours?? Have a word.

[Benno]

When things are hot, I tend to watch every week - I'll probabaly even find myself watching Smackdown again come Mania season, but yeah, there's no way I can sit through these 3 hours shitfests right now. Meltzers recap on a Tuesday morning will do.

 

I can't believe the ratings don't slip more this time of year.

Edited December 9, 2014 by Benno

[Linus]

This week's review is taking an age to write. You can infer from that how the show was...

[Loki]

It reminds me of back in 98/99, just reading Nitro recaps but having no way of seeing them.  I don't think I ever really saw any WCW until after it was over, the odd VHS off a market stall.

[Linus]

Hey, it's RAW! And it's a special Slammy Awards edition? Wait, where are you going?

 

Jerry Lawler comes out and introduces the host for tonight's show, Seth Green. Seth was about to award the first award of the night when Miz & Mizdow came out and Miz interrupted him. Miz asked why Seth hadn't returned his calls, and said he was an A-Lister. Seth said there was an A-Lister there, alright, but it was Mizdow.

 

The crowd chanted "we want Mizdow!", and Miz said, "yes, I know you want Miz now and you've got him". That was funny. Meanwhile, Mizdow made "call me" gestures to Seth. Again, funny. Miz introduced the first award, the This Is Awesome award.

 

Hey, it's Dolph Ziggler! He's fighting Seth Rollins, because their random match generator is broken. The timing was off in this quite a bit. Ziggler had the upper hand when J&J Security interfered, and that led to Rollins winning with the kerb stomp. Ehhh.

 

After the match, Seth Green revealed that the winner of the This Is Awesome award was Sting's appearance at Survivor Series, and this made the other Seth unhappy. He grabbed the mic and said he was accepting it on Sting's behalf because Sting didn't deserve it, and he does. This set a pattern for the night of people who actually won awards not bothering to accept them. *Sigh*

 

It's A New Day! Are they "A" New Day or "The" New Day? If the former, can we expect others? It's Kofi Kingston versus Stardust in a match notable for making me wonder, "who has the worst offense in professional wrestling?". The answer is Kofi Kingston, it seems. Eh, Kofi won with a high crossbody, of all things.

 

That Johnny Ace guy came out next to present an award - Surprise Return of the Year - introduced by Lilian Garcia clumsily. I thought Seth Green was hosting this show? Johnny Ace said that People Power should return to the WWE - hey, if they did that it would like a very different show. Warrior won the award, which was odd because it can only be a management call and they didn't even bring in anyone to accept it.

 

Backstage, Seth Rollins bumped into Paul Heyman, who did an awesome talky, building up Rollins better than Rollins ever did for himself. He said Seth was the future, and Cena was the past, and it was up to Seth to prove that.

 

Jesus fucking Christ, it's CHARLOTTE~!~! And we're in the Carolinas! As an aside, I just finished up re-reading The Death Of WCW and one of the main things that helped to kill the company was jobbing out Flair in the Carolinas all the time. Anyway, back to this match.

 

She's fighting Natalya, and they even showed a bit about how dominant Charlotte is in NXT, and all this was to build to the NXT Takeover special on Thursday. Natalya remember, on NXT, is just a valet to all intents and purposes.

 

Yeah, Charlotte lost. And didn't get to do any of her usual stuff. Instead, they had her do chops - like her dad - and try the figure four - like her dad. And Natalya beat her with a small package.

 

FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Charlotte is - not might be - the next woman to move up on to the main roster. Why job her out like that? Why take away everything that has made her great? Are you people stupid??? Don't answer that.

 

This was okay for a women's match on Raw, but bad for an NXT women's match. I'd still wager it was one of the best Flair-Neidhart matches ever. Oh, and I realise I’m like everyone who’s favourite indy wrestler ever came into New York and got treated like a putz but Charlotte is ONE OF THEIR OWN. Meh.

 

Santino came out to present the next award, the OMG! Shocking Moment of the Year award. He pronounced OMG as if it were a word. Funny. Lesnar beating Undertaker at Wrestlemania won, and Heyman came out and did a good speech.

 

It was interrupted by Bray Wyatt, who came down to the ring to talk about the loss of his beloved rocking chair. He was not happy. He said it was "her" chair. Sister Abigail, I guess.

 

Sirens blared out and an ambulance backed into the arena. The doors flew open, and Dean Ambrose - who BROKE HIS TRACCHEA three days ago - was stood surrounded by dry ice. Wyatt freaked out and Ambrose pulled tables, ladders, and chairs out of the ambulance.

 

Ambrose ran down to the ring and hit Wyatt with a ladder. Then, while Wyatt was down, he threw a chair into the ring which landed leg first on Wyatt's head. Owwwwwwwwww. They had a bit of a brawl. TLC on Sunday, folks!

 

Hey, it's Jerry Lawler! He's introducing Diva of the Year, and hopes he gets a hug from the winner. You're no Gigolo Jimmy, Jerry. As the women were lined up backstage, Titus O'Neil, in a swank red velvet suit, wandered out for some reason.

 

AJ Lee won and then had to pretend she was grossed out by Lawler, despite the fact she's married to a man who fucked her hero. She said she'd redefined what a Diva was - hmm, really? - and hoped that next year Bayley, Sasha, Charlotte, or Paige would win. Blah blah blah.

 

Backstage Renee spoke to John Cena who did a hell of a talky setting up his match with Rollins. Really, really good.

 

You know those former brothers-in-arms who went separate ways, fighting on different sides, and who will no doubt meet for the first time in a singles match at a PPV down the line? Yeah, cross Erick Rowan and Luke Harper off that list, because they're having a nothing match on Raw here.

 

They hit each other with moves and objects. It was a decent big man brawl, probably the best match on the show. But what did it achieve? Nothing. Waste of opportunity right there. Oh, and they’re going with Big Red in a big way, the dicks. I hate this show this week.

 

Backstage, Naomi and that one Uso had a bit. Naomi spoke to Miz’s agent and Jimmy Uso is not happy about that. She thinks he doesn’t trust her, presumably because she doesn’t watch Raw ever.

 

Adam Rose and his Rosebuds – including That Fucking Bunny – came out to present the next award. What happened to Seth Green? Anyway, Adam Rose is brilliant. Just as he was going to open the envelope That Fucking Bunny tried to take it off him, despite the fact that he can’t talk. Rose announced Mizdow as the winner of the LOL Moment of the Year award, and Miz came out and accepted it. He said he had to thank somebody without whom he wouldn’t have won the award – his face.

 

Hey, it’s Rusev and Lana! Lana runs down the United States, bringing a USA chant and a good SHUT TUP. Oh, they announced that Rusev had broken Zeb Coulter’s leg. Not as part of a wrestling match, but as part of an assault backstage last week. Why has no-one called the police?

 

Jack Swagger ran down for REVENGE! And they had another pull apart brawl. Rusev looked hurt after an ankle lock. The rest of us are hurt by this feud happening again so soon after the last one.

 

Ah, it’s that Seth Green guy! I knew he’d be around somewhere! He’s joining the commentary team for one of the most unlikely six-man tags you’ll ever see – Ryback & the Usos versus Kane & Miz & Mizdow. This was all about Mizdow, busting out at least three brilliant spots aping the Miz in peril. Kane was great at being annoyed at him. We’ve found a use for Kane at last. Ryback got the pin with the shell shock on Miz but this was fun, if utterly disposable.

 

Ricky Steamboat, as grey as Gandalf the Grey, came out to present Match of the Year. The only one I’d seen – the Survivor Series main event – won. I have no idea if it should have. Dolph Ziggler, killed by Seth Rollins earlier, came out to accept the award.

 

Ugh, it’s AJ Lee versus Summer Rae up next. It started off okay, with Summer Rae on fire, throwing out insults and injuries until she ran out of disparaging things to say and started repeating herself. AJ won out of nowhere with the Black Widow and another little part of me died. The crowd were chanting for AJ’s husband - you know, the one who would rather be anywhere other than in front of them. *Shrug*

 

Hey, it’s Rob van Dam! He’s out there to present Extreme Moment of the Year. Jericho won, for a dive off the cage onto Bray Wyatt. That’s not very extreme. Speaking of which, the Royal Rumble is in Philadelphia next year and they wanted a dozen ex-ECW guys to be surprise entrants. Apparently, no-one wanted to. I can’t believe that – surely 911 isn’t busy right now? (I apologise if 911 is dead or something).

 

Chris Jericho – of course – wasn’t there to accept his award, so Fandango came out to accept it on his behalf. At this point, I’ve stopped wondering why or even caring.

 

Backstage Renee spoke to the Big Show who said stuff.

 

Time for the big award of the night, and who better to present it than… Booker T? Yeah, the guy who was doing spinaroonies in a nightclub in Preston last week. I know! The absolute, as voted by the fans, no fix at all, honest, winner was Roman Reigns. They so want him to succeed. He may or may not but this is so forced. He even tried a catchphrase with a pause in it. You know, like the Rock. He looks a bit like the Rock don’t you think? BUY HIS MERCH.

 

Hey, it’s main event time! It’s John Cena versus the Big Show in that match that John Cena is sure to demand because the Big Show sold him out at Survivor Series and sold well might do business but is just… another… match.

 

There was a long sleeper hold in this match. This six-minute match. It ended when Cena had Show up for the Attitude Adjustment and Rollins ran in with his goons for the DQ. Ziggler, Rowan, Harper, Ryback and Kane all got involved and the heels ended up killing all the faces, with Cena going through a table to end the show.

 

This was a terrible TV show. Full of forced humour and nonsense segments, and it’s a go-home Raw to boot. Are Slammies shows always this bad? Bah.

[Sergio Mendacious]

I think I'm going to take the Punkstep approach from now on — wait for Li-news©, and then watch anything that sounds decent. Because right now, RAW can fuck off.