Paid Members FLips Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 I seem to remember Steve being married so im calling hes cheated on his wife, her best mate? sister? brother? Â Or he had sex with his wife's Mum/Sister before they started going out, and has never told her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm calling that he was so depressed when Nasri and Fabragas left Arsenal, he let the dog lick jam of his taint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 No offence to Steve, but one of the things that winds me up most is when people say "oh you should hear about this" and then refuse to tell you. If you weren't going to tell anyone then keep it to yourself. Â Pretty much. I like Steve but this is a post clearly fishing for a reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) I bet when he's giving his best to the wife, he can't help but think of that time he took advantage of a group of hobos and had an orgy in his Prius. The guilt/shame factor turns him into marathon man and he can't tell his wife about his new found endurance, even though she is puzzled given his previous record, plus why the car smells funny. Edited September 25, 2011 by Blackson Jackson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 No offence to Steve, but one of the things that winds me up most is when people say "oh you should hear about this" and then refuse to tell you. If you weren't going to tell anyone then keep it to yourself. Â Pretty much. I like Steve but this is a post clearly fishing for a reaction. Â I honestly wasn't. The thread made me think about it, I went to post what it was and found I couldn't. I really shouldn't have put anything. Sorry guys, didn't mean to cause a stir. You're all off the mark though. Truth is I probably won't ever tell anyone, too much to lose, which is incredibly selfish of me. Carry on with your drinking pints of sick and what not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Wanking into a pair of my mums soiled knickers. This right here is the sickest shit that we'll likely see in this thread. You need some serious help son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urskog Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 This is tame stuff, but I still cringe thinking about it. I was once dragged to the cinema by my then-girlfriend, who decided to bring her parents along. As a 21 year old (she was 19) with occasional social anxiety I already felt like a tit walking around with these people in tow, looking like a teenage boy on a supervised first date. But then there was a problem at the ticket desk and my girlfriend started shouting 'Mum! Mum!' across the massive entrance hall like a little girl. I detest any form of public attention anyway, but in particular there was a group of 13 year old girls eyeballing me like I was the biggest fucking mong they'd ever set their eyes on. I could only stare at the floor and look forward to the dark screening room. Â One day as a 16 year old I somewhat underestimated how well our rather appealing Spanish trainee teacher could hear me telling my friends what I thought of her. Somewhat, as in totally. I thought I was being sly but I looked up and she was staring right at me, with embarrassment and a touch of hurt on her face. I didn't say anything especially gratuitous, but still it's not what you want to hear from a child you're teaching, so I felt like a massive dick and was too humiliated to apologise. It's possible she didn't give a fuck, but recalling that incident does make me feel bad even now. Â I've wanked in various weird places but I'm not ashamed of those. The riskiest was the time I wanked in my friend's living room as he made me a cup of tea in the next room. There wasn't even a door between the rooms, but there I was, slumped on the sofa with my cock in a sock as I told my mate how many sugars I wanted. 16 was a bad age for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) I was having an absolute champion of a wank in my teen years over a WWE Magazine divas feature. I'd even intricately planned two or three self pleasure sessions in the day, readily preparing other WWE publications featuring diva goodness within them, mainly just a couple of normal WWE magazines with a feature or two in them which I'd ripped out of the main mags. Â On that fateful day, I'd left the bathroom door unlocked. In my masterbatory slumber, I'd neglected to listen out for Mother's return from work. There's me, sat on the throne, cock in one hand and a poster of Torrie Wilson in the other hand when her lordship walks in to clean the sink. But aside from the shock of seeing me in such a state, she then glanced at the floor, to find this magazine and cover. Â Â Â Â Â Edited September 25, 2011 by El Nicko Loco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleischmark Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I am impressed that most the wanking stories are not even low points or embarrassing, yet we still gotsta tell. Â Ive masturbated to climax in every place i have worked, which is many. Don't always have mummy knick knacks with me though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I am impressed that most the wanking stories are not even low points or embarrassing, yet we still gotsta tell. Ive masturbated to climax in every place i have worked, which is many. Don't always have mummy knick knacks with me though Do you have a thing for your own mother then, yeah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted September 25, 2011 Moderators Share Posted September 25, 2011 Science needs to work out the formula for how many posts an internet anecdote thread takes before it morphs into a wanking thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2011 Science needs to work out the formula for how many posts an internet anecdote thread takes before it morphs into a wanking thread. Â I give the school assembly one 33 posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleischmark Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I am impressed that most the wanking stories are not even low points or embarrassing, yet we still gotsta tell. Ive masturbated to climax in every place i have worked, which is many. Don't always have mummy knick knacks with me though Do you have a thing for your own mother then, yeah?  Yuk no you sicko. I just don't have any sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcountrywwfc Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Wanking into a pair of my mums soiled knickers. This right here is the sickest shit that we'll likely see in this thread. You need some serious help son. Â Â Yeah you could have at least used a clean pair. sick fuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RancidPunx Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 i've pissed on a grave. Â I've collected money for charity that i drank. Â And i nearly killed someone in a prank gone wrong. For about 1hr i thought he might be dead. Â I have not wanted in public or shat myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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