Paid Members Surf Digby Posted May 12, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted May 12, 2011 A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan . He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stylin_and_Profilin Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 An investigation is under way following the collapse of a roof during a Lionel Ritchie concert which took place in India. Eye witnesses report the last thing they remember seeing prior to the incident was Dan Singh on the ceiling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted May 12, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted May 12, 2011 A priest and a Hindu are making toast. Â The priest exclaims, "look! There's an image of Jesus in my margarine!" Â The Hindu replies, "I can't believe its not Buddha!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Why's Noddy got a bell on his hat? <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler Because he's a cunt  [close spoiler] ");document.close();  Thread win. I've just orally jizzed coffe all over my screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spotlightmagnet1 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I went to my dentists the other day. He said 'Sit down and say 'Ah'' I said 'Why?' 'My dogs just died' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelEdge Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 What's 30 feet long and smells of urine?  <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler Line dancing at a nursing home  [close spoiler] ");document.close(); Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britishwrestlinglegends Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 What's 30 feet long and smells of urine? <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler Line dancing at a nursing home  [close spoiler] ");document.close(); What goes "In & out" & "Stinks of piss?" SPOILER - Highlight the black box to read A group of pensioners doing the Hokey Cokey!  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mock-The-Cross Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Why did the baker have brown hands? He was kneading a shit! Â Shoved a grape up my girlfriends arse, didn't say anything, just let out a little wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted June 16, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2011 Went out last night for a curry, and now my arse is burning. God, the things I'll do for a free chicken korma. Â Â Raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were well pissed off. Â Â What did Bruce Lee want for Christmas? ATOYYYYYYYYYYY (say it in a Bruce Lee martial arts scream) Â Â What's Mr. T's favourite yoghurt? A PETIT FILOU Â Â What's brown and sticky? My poster of Beyonce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted June 16, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2011 Knock Knock  Who's there  Maddie  It cant be we buried you  Don't be silly Kate, its me Gerry, I left my keys when I went out to the shops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted June 16, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2011 What do you call a joke without a punchline?  <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler     [close spoiler] ");document.close(); Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted June 16, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2011 My huband has left me as I can't control my pasta groping fetish. I'm feeling canneloni now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted June 16, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2011 My huband has left me as I can't control my pasta groping fetish. I'm feeling canneloni now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RancidPunx Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Said in a Northern accent: "I saw an ol' friend the other day and he told me he was getting married. I said you twit to who?" Â Â I said this back to myself in a northern accent out loud and i still don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted June 17, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted June 17, 2011 Said in a Northern accent: "I saw an ol' friend the other day and he told me he was getting married. I said you twit to who?" Â Â I said this back to myself in a northern accent out loud and i still don't get it. Â I think the 'ol' has to be pronounced 'owl'. No idea which 'northern accent' says it like that, but I'd deduce that's where the comedy treasure be buried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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