Richie Freebird Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 How did I forget that Spence twat??? Argh, this makes me so angry I want to rip my own eyeballs out. Much like him. Â I think this is the first ever post of yours that I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 19, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 19, 2011 How did I forget that Spence twat??? Argh, this makes me so angry I want to rip my own eyeballs out. Much like him. Â I think this is the first ever post of yours that I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 "If this prick isn't in at least the top 10, I riot." Wrestling fans who use that "I riot" meme are bigger twats than anyone on this list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 If this prick isn't at least in the top 10, I'll jump on the computer and furiously post about ROH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamtheman Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 seeing as its getting discussed in here the smithy comic relief sketch was terrible apart from george michael, the one exchange between mccartney and starr and the random appearance of bieber it wasnt funny maybe its just the fact that i hate corden just didnt do out for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 How did I forget that Spence twat??? Argh, this makes me so angry I want to rip my own eyeballs out. Much like him. Â I think this is the first ever post of yours that I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 20, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities    12 Kerry Katona (2009 ranking: 3. Down 9)   What's she famous for? I truthfully don't know anymore. Mainly for 'being Kerry Katona'.  And you think she's a twat because... "What is she famous for anyway?" cries Rave, who ranked Katona at #8. The Dart, who ranked her at #4, attempted to offer some explanation: "those stupid magazines like Heat ensure she counts as a celebrity despite doing nothing to warrant it for 10 years." Waterboy, who ranked her at #5, thinks Katona is "an embarrassment of a creature... ‘Poor Kerry, she has it so tough. She’s just trying to get her life straight’. Ugh. They were on about commissioning a statue of her to go on some roundabout in Warrington. Jesus. Even a nuclear bomb couldn’t obliterate the memory of the paperwork on which that was suggested."  "More of the same, isn't it?" asked air_raid_crash, who also ranked Katona at #4, and continued by arguing, "This is typical of what's wrong with this country. This slag was in Atomic Kitten once, so pop fans might have an excuse for giving a shit. The she left, and should have best been thought of as 'used to be in a pop group, now married to Bryan off Westlife.' But now? What reason do you have to stick around? Why are you in OK and Heat every fucking week? It's because of the baggage, isnt it. She is where she is because women LOVE her. Which to me only suggests they love making themselves feel better about their pretend problems by thinking 'at least I'm not her.' ... Still, she's no mere simpleton like some I could mention, she's a grade A self-publicist, and the most majestic of delusional twats. I saw her once say 'of course there's going to be a drama, I'm Kerry Katona.' OHHHHH suck on my scrote you utterly worthless cunt. When I get round to creating my human centipede with her, Jordan and Cashley Cole, she's definitely the middle."  Was she voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? No.  And so to summarise, Kerry Katona is worse than... The Daily Mail. Edited March 20, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 20, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities    11 Frankie Boyle (2009 ranking: 25. Up 14)   What's he famous for? Stand-up comedy.  And you think he's a twat because... The first celebrity from the 2009 list to move up the rankings this year is also the highest-ranking stand-up on the 2011 list. Why? Nexus, who ranked Boyle at #5, says, "I think he is a unfunny... cunt who should not be polluting our television... Being a cunt doesn't equate being funny... He was funny, once. Then he saw that he was being 'edgy' and 'hilarious' so he ramped up the 'hilarity' by talking utter bollocks and being a vile, odious little twunt to everyone and everything. It isn't witty. It isn't funny. He just needs to fuck off." Rave, who ranked him at #6, agrees, and also thinks Boyle is a "miserable cunt, not funny in any way shape or form. [He] uses shock value to get noticed and guess what, the 'jokes' he tells... they aren’t even funny!"  Frankie's recent foray out of TV panel shows and into his own programme could go some way to explaining his rise up the rankings and his scraping the sphincter of the top 10 twats. Seph, who ranked Boyle at #8, puts it simply: "You've been found out."  The final views and thoughts go to opcws, who ranked Boyle at #5, and sagely noted that, "a child learns a dirty word in the playground, and repeats it to everyone for the rest of the day. Then eventually he grows up and becomes a normal, well-rounded adult, or he doesn't, and he becomes Frankie Boyle."  Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? No.  And so to summarise, Frankie Boyle is worse than... Twats who found Tramadol Nights funny.        And now, the fourth batch of Nearlytwats, who were nominated but did not receive enough points to make it onto the final list:  Adele, Adrian Durham, Cher Lloyd, Christopher Nolan, Danny Dyer ("haven't seen you around much, but you're still a twat. Please stay fucked off." - Seph), Ed Milliband, Gordon Brown, Harry Hill, Lorraine Kelly, Matt Hardy ("OK, I tried to not put any wrestling people in it. But what excuse is there for being THIS much of a twat? If Matt was in your circle of friends, he'd be the one that shows up uninvited everywhere and you all kick the one that told him where you were under the table, before sending him to the bar and scuttling off to the next pub... The man who refers to himself as "MATTHARDYBRAND" (WTF?) and posts ostensibly in kayfabe but still urges his followers to get behind him (despite being a heel) can't do anything without letting the whole planet know, presumably because he thinks the clock would stop and the ice caps melt if we don't all know about his mundane exploits. RT! RT! Get a life" - air_raid_crash), Noel Gallagher, Rihanna, Roy Chubby Brown, and the entire cast of Twilight (but particularly Kristen Stewart).      So, the list is up to your Top 10. Who do you predict will be there? Who? Who, indeed? Edited March 20, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nexus Posted March 20, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 20, 2011 Fuck. I'm disappointed Frankie Boyle isn't in the top 10. Â Wayne Rooney has to be up there, and Katie Price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GalaxyV.2 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I think the Gervais thing with the audience was set up. The presenters clearly were taking the piss, they did a similar thing a few years ago with Gervais. Â Â Btw as much as I dislike Corden, I must say that sketch was tremendous. And to the person who said 'he's fat they shouldn't put him on', they referenced that in the sketch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted March 20, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) How did I forget that Spence twat??? Argh, this makes me so angry I want to rip my own eyeballs out. Much like him.  I think this is the first ever post of yours that I’ve disagreed with. Spence is class.I think this is the first ever post of yours that I’ve disagreed with. Spence is class.  I think Spence is a twat. However...  ...He's a twat that can dance. Out of all the twats so far on the list, he is so twattish that for some reason I find him quite hilarious. Edit: Actually, I like how he owns the paprazzi guy here. "Brett" strikes me as a bit of a typical pap twat who Louie basically turns the table on. Edited March 20, 2011 by El Nicko Loco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 21, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Top 10 time.     DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities          EXTRA DISCLAIMER: The picture for this entry may potentially be possibly NSFW depending on how strict your place of work is.         10 Lady Gaga (2009 ranking: did not place)   What's she famous for? Music, wearing ridiculous clothing.  And you think she's a twat because... "So blatantly contrived and controlled. A walking marketing assignment," says Dead Mike, who ranked her at #10. Gaga's inclusion on the list is not necessarily entirely due to her music; Mike's rant continued by admitting she had a couple of good songs, before going off into an analogy that was very entertaining but probably not worth the risk of posting, just to be on the safe side. Anyway, her inclusion is probably due to her public image. The perception of her. Her outfits, which are surely, many think, a cry for attention so plaintive and pathetic it's pitiable. Is this the only way she can get people to notice her? Worse is that rather than scoff, laugh and (some would say) justifiably mock her for transcending 'outlandish' and entering the secure territory of 'batshit motherfucking mad', she is championed for it. Who among us could get away with wearing Kermit the Frog puppets or a dress of meat, and why the fuck should she get a free pass to the A List for it? Hatching from a fucking egg? Hector Guerrero did that over twenty years ago and he's still not over the humiliation, but Gaga is fucking lauded for it?! Your rants wonder why anyone would encourage this mess of flailing limbs and weirdness... Sure, say her music's alright, but is it that good? And her act's not even original - Bjork was wearing swans before Gaga could pronounce 'paparazzi'! "You are not 'crazy' or innovative, you are not special," concludes El Nicko Loco, who ranked Gaga at #4.  Was she voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? No.  And so to summarise, Lady Gaga is worse than... Getting it on with a handsome hypothetical woman, putting your hand down her in order to find her gooey creamy centre, only to discover that "sweet Jesus, she has a penis", and proceeding to wank her off anyway because you'd rather not face the embarassment of admitting you couldn't tell she was a bloke. Edited March 21, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 21, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities    9 Jamie Redknapp (2009 ranking: Did not place)   What's he famous for? Football, marrying Louise.  And you think he's a twat because... "Jamie Redknapp is literally a useless fucking football pundit with an utter cretin for a father. THAT is how you use the word, Redknapp. You cunt." So says Gladstone Small, who ranked Redknapp at #1. Nexus, who ranked him at #5, adds, "the main anger I have at him is his current job, as a Sky Sports 'pundit'. His half-time and full-time 'analysis' is fucking diabolical. A personal highlight was during the Barca v Chelsea Semi Final, when he claimed that the only reason Chelsea lost was because 'that ref woz Norwegian and 'e izn't used 2 Championz Lig futbal. We shud've 'ad a British ref.' He doesn't fucking know anything... Plus, he wears ridiculous trousers. What a cunt. He is one of those pro-England, fuck all the foreigners football guys. His xenophobia is revolting to watch."  It appears that crawlingwest, who also ranked him at #1, is no fan, as he believes Redknapp is a "fucking absolute wanker. I really, really, really hate you, you fucking TWAT." And finally, there's Waterboy, who ranked him at #1 too. His opinion of Redknapp is below:  "We dream about it. We can’t wait for it. We fantasize about it. It’s a live football broadcast without this chunnering bellend wading in with his pointless comments and supposed insight. Never has a so-called expert had such flimsy opinions which change instantly when someone with half a clue contradicts what he says. He was average at best, yet he tries to patronise former great players and managers about how the game should be played. His fawning over any team associated with his old man is sickening, as is the hand-on-knee approach he uses to placate any colleague who highlights his retarded input. Would he have so much exposure if he was ugly? No. He’d be sent out to do touchline reports in League 1 for comedic effect. Like Dean Windass. Who, despite sounding like he always needs a massive shit, knows more about football. But I digress. It’s not just on Sky Sports where Redknapp’s insufferable, either. Instead of Sky Plus, I wish there was a Sky Minus, which allows you to schedule the immediate removal of any advert which that fucker appears in. And his missus. This prick is so intolerable, he’s made the girl who inspired many a teenage pant-fumble seem utterly repellent in every conceivable way. Because he’s touched her... And for the love of fucking God, put your fucking bulge away."  Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? Yes. In fact, the only person who received more #1 votes than Jamie was the individual at the very top, the overall #1 twat.  And so to summarise, Jamie Redknapp is worse than... Your manager at work. Yeah, I went there. Edited March 21, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't know much about football, much less watch it, but by god do I hate that Redknapp fellow now. What a tremendous read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nexus Posted March 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2011 Oh, don't forget his Thomson and Wii Play adverts. Â Cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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