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The Second UKFF Celebrity Twatlist: THE COUNTDOWN


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I was perusing Off Topic Gold recently, and discovered that the first Twatlist had been included there... I read through it, and thought it would be worth another go.


For those who don't recall it, the Twatlist was a parody of those ubiquitous Top 50 / Top 100 lists that could be found in magazines, on television and on this very forum at the time. Compiled in the summer of 2009. UKFFers sent me lists of their most reviled and loathed public figures. Their choices were ranked, and those ranks went into an overall tally to determine, in satirical Top 30 form, which famous person this forum hated the most (it was Jordan). Each entry in the 30 had an opportunity for those who had nominated that celebrity to spit their vitriol and vent their spleens about them. It was quite entertaining and, I like to think, therapeutic.


So why do it again?


Well, here's the final rankings from the first Twatlist:


30. Alex Turner (that twat from the Arctic Monkeys)

29. The Ting Tings

28. Johnny Vegas

27. Peter Kay

26. Jade Goody

25. Frankie Boyle

24. Cristiano Ronaldo

23. Jack Whitehall

22. Princess Diana

21. Gok Wan

20. P!nk

19. Pete Doherty

18. Jeremy Clarkson

17. Oasis / Liam Gallagher

16. Morrissey

15. Jonathan Ross

14. Lewis Hamilton

13. Jamie Oliver

12. Michael McIntyre

11. The Mighty Boosh / Noel Fielding

10. Chris Moyles

9. Danny Dyer

8. Davina McCall

7. Robbie Williams

6. Bono

5. Russell Brand

4. Justin Lee Collins

3. Kerry Katona

2. Alan Carr

1. Katie 'Jordan' Price


As you can see, the zeitgeist has changed since then. Who the fuck still remembers the Ting Tings in 2011? There's a new coalition government ... James Cameron is back in the public eye, Justin Lee Collins, not so much ... Justin Bieber hadn't even been born when we first did this list. James Corden didn't make the list. James Fucking Corden. So let's try it again.


This is what you do:


- Pick your list of Top Twats - up to ten of your most disliked celebrities - put them in order, and send them to me. Either e-mail jimbobfredericksson@hotmail.com, or PM me.


- Make sure you include reasons for your selections in your e-mail/PM . If you do, I'll use your rants and diatribes in the final write-ups, and everyone will know how hate-filled you are deep down. You are, of course, free not to include reasons, but what's the fun in that? The longer and swearier, the better. I want to know why you hate these people. Be eloquent, be obscene. Read the original thread if you want to get an idea.


- Please submit your votes by midnight on Sunday 13th March. (That gives you two weeks at time of me posting this thread. That's loads of time). The list will start to count down soon after that. Remember to include your UKFF username so I know who to credit in the write-ups!


- In the meantime, please please please use this thread to persuade others who to vote for. Why should Lady Gaga or John Bishop be despised by everyone, and not just you? Tell the forum, and by extension the world!


- The person in 1st place (your Top Twat) receives 10 'Tosserpoints' to go towards their final total. 2nd place gets 9 Tosserpoints, 3rd gets 8, and so on down to 10th place which will receive 1. If you want to nominate more than 10 people, please do - everyone from 11th downwards on your list will get 1 point. This means your Number 1 will have a much better chance of a high placing - so put your choices in order if you can.


- You can nominate any public figure, past or present. Actors, musicians, sportspeople, politicians, artists, royalty; A-list, D-list or Z-list; well-known or obscure; individuals or groups (the collective cast of a TV show, or an entire band, for instance); living or dead. Go current if you want and pick Col. Gaddafi or Ashley Cole, or reopen old wounds and nominate the same people you went for last time (if you're one of those wonderful people who voted).


- It's okay if you can't remember their name - if you say "that bint off Live From Studio Five" I'll know who you mean. "That bloke down the road that nuts grannies", however, is a bit too obscure. As this is a wrestling forum I understand the temptation to fill your list with wrestling personalities will be high, but it'll turn out really boring if that's all anyone nominates. Please try and limit things to one or two wrestlers per list. The same goes for footballers - please resist the urge to nominate 11 footballers just because they play for a team you don't like. That, too, is really boring. No members of this forum will be counted if you vote for them, so the likes of Staniforth etc will be excused from the list. Also, if anybody happens to vote for Surf Graffiti I'll discard those because I don't want the police visiting me.


- If you want to use this thread in the time between now and when voting closes to canvas for certain Twats you think deserve to be pilloried, please go ahead.


- I'll be hoping for enough nominations to do a decent Top 20 or 30. Naturally if there aren't enough nominations the thread will be declared void and I'll be very sad.


- So, to recap, please send your Top Twats, with reasons please, to jimbobfredericksson@hotmail.com, or by PM, or in this thread if you want to, by midnight on Sunday 13th March.




So ... that Corden/Matt Cardle/Katy Brand/Dappy out of N-Dubz/whoever's a bit of a nob, aren't they?

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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I fucking love Johnny Vegas. The rest of those can fuck off.


Just give the award to James Corden now, the fat fucking unfunny pile of girly-laughing blubber-filled dung.


I've had people decribe Johnny Vegas to me almost exactly like this.


Edit: I'm being whooshed, aren't I? :(

Edited by Wretch
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Richard Bacon should really be on there.

Isn't Richard Bacon so under the radar these days, that if he died tomorrow, people wouldn't have the motivation to react either way? He's more of a 2001 cunt.


Last I heard of him, he was doing a late night phone in show on 5 live, must have been about 2 years ago though.



I actually like Russell Brand :(


I'm definitely putting a vote in for Adrian Chiles though, absolutely horrific human being who closely resembles an ulcer.

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