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The Second UKFF Celebrity Twatlist: THE COUNTDOWN


HarmonicGenerator

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Without wanting to 'spoiler' the thread, watching Comic Relief should have also reminded you why Ricky Gervais wasn't #1 as soon as the ever-hilarious 'Smithy' appeared on the screen. It also strikes me that it's in incredibly bad taste to have James Corden performing at an event in aid of people who are starving to death - it's the equivalent of Roman Abramovich giving a lecture on poverty in the third world from his massive yacht while wearing a suit made of gold.

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At least the audience in the studio liked the Corden bit. Unless Gervais' intention was to put a sour taste in the mouth of everyone who had donated, I've got no fucking idea what he was trying to accomplish. At least the audience shit all over his bit with their lack of reaction (and when a Comic Relief audience aren't even charitable enough to even give you a courtesy laugh, welll...) and even the presenters were completely non-plussed. Jonathan Ross tried to cover it with 'I'm sure he means well...' and the other two didn't even bother trying to defend it. He is an awful person and I would happily give Comic Relief every penny I have to keep him off TV and radio forever. I just hope that dire, dire, indefensible segment was a turning point for people to realise the troll they've been feeding for the past few years.

 

 

(incidentally, I'll go on record as saying that last night's 'Smithy' segment was the first time I've ever enjoyed James Corden - it wasn't for him, of course, rather the everyone else, but ... yeah, I didn't think it was that bad!)

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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At least the audience in the studio liked the Corden bit. Unless Gervais' intention was to put a sour taste in the mouth of everyone who had donated, I've got no fucking idea what he was trying to accomplish. At least the audience shit all over his bit with their lack of reaction (and when a Comic Relief audience aren't even charitable enough to even give you a courtesy laugh, welll...) and even the presenters were completely non-plussed. Jonathan Ross tried to cover it with 'I'm sure he means well...' and the other two didn't even bother trying to defend it. He is an awful person and I would happily give Comic Relief every penny I have to keep him off TV and radio forever. I just hope that dire, dire, indefensible segment was a turning point for people to realise the troll they've been feeding for the past few years.

 

 

(incidentally, I'll go on record as saying that last night's 'Smithy' segment was the first time I've ever enjoyed James Corden - it wasn't for him, of course, rather the everyone else, but ... yeah, I didn't think it was that bad!)

 

 

 

This exactly. If my votes had gone in after last night then Gervais would have been number 1. The cunt.

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At least the audience in the studio liked the Corden bit. Unless Gervais' intention was to put a sour taste in the mouth of everyone who had donated, I've got no fucking idea what he was trying to accomplish. At least the audience shit all over his bit with their lack of reaction (and when a Comic Relief audience aren't even charitable enough to even give you a courtesy laugh, welll...) and even the presenters were completely non-plussed. Jonathan Ross tried to cover it with 'I'm sure he means well...' and the other two didn't even bother trying to defend it. He is an awful person and I would happily give Comic Relief every penny I have to keep him off TV and radio forever. I just hope that dire, dire, indefensible segment was a turning point for people to realise the troll they've been feeding for the past few years.

 

 

(incidentally, I'll go on record as saying that last night's 'Smithy' segment was the first time I've ever enjoyed James Corden - it wasn't for him, of course, rather the everyone else, but ... yeah, I didn't think it was that bad!)

 

Have to say I didn't see Gervais's bit - I generally avoid Comic Relief specifically because it basically is a televised version of the UKFF celebrity twatlist, minus the entertaining rants and with a whole lot of righteous self-indulgence thrown in. But I can well envisage your summary. Gervais just doesn't deal well with audiences who haven't come specifically to see him, as proved by the 'dance' debacle at the Princess Diana memorial thing.

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Having watched that, while there wasn't anything particularly funny about it and he's clearly beating the Karl Pilkington gag into the ground, I have to say I don't think it was that bad in the scheme of things. Bearing in mind this is Comic Relief, repository for comedians' sketches that are too shit to put in their own series and the show that's prolonged Lenny Henry's career for 20 years past its sell-by-date, I didn't think it was spectacularly bad.

 

Having said that, I can see why it wouldn't go over well in the studio. It was heavily reliant on irony (albeit Gervais's own clunky, unsubtle brand of irony), and the sort of people who like to conspicuously associate themselves with TV telethons don't take kindly to suggestions (ironic or otherwise) that they're anything less than the brillant hybrid of Nelson Mandela, George Carlin and Jesus they very clearly think they are.

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Don't see how that's Ricky Gervais being a twat, seeing as he only says about 3 things and they're all replies to Karl. I thought the segments were really funny but if anyone should be to blame for how they were it should be Karl. Even if Ricky scripted it, Karl was the one who said it on Comic Relief.

 

It was much funnier than the Upstairs Downtown Abbey shit that got about 30 minutes airtime all night.

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Just watched that so they basically said don't give cos it's a rip off and why should we give a shit

 

I have to guess that bit was live as if it was pre recorded and someone high up watched it 1st they wouldn't of aired it that is one of the most stupid things I've ever seen it was supposed to be an appeal but they just said don't bother giving anything and even berated half the people who did give.

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Yeah, that's what I got from it as well - it seemed completely at odds with every aim of the charity - "you're an idiot if you give money, what's the point, they'll just ask you again next time". I assume it must have been approved before it went on air, but fucking hell, who the fuck at any stage thought "yep, that'll make people want to part with some cash, that really gets over what we're about"... Oh well. Fuck Gervais, we're only giving him what he wants by talking about him - on with the show. And by show I mean list.

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

 

14

Louie Spence

(2009 ranking: Did not place)

 

Louie-Spence-007.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Reality TV, general campery.

 

And you think he's a twat because...

Your hate for Louie emanates from all sorts of places, but most importantly, his apparent status as King of the Fame Whores. "I don't mind the campery so much," said Seph, "but for God's sake please get your teeth fixed." Right then. Dead Mike, who ranked Spence at #1, summarises: "How this moron became so famous and seemingly liked is beyond me. So blatantly desperate for fame and recognition I imagine he'd agree to stamp on a puppy if it were televised and he could pirouette before the act."

 

Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)?

Yes.

 

And so to summarise, Louie Spence is worse than...

Homophobia.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

 

13

John Terry

(2009 ranking: Did not place)

 

John_Terry.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Football, activities away from football.

 

And you think he's a twat because...

"I wanted to make sure I didn’t put too many footballers in this list as these days, they’re all as bad as each other and the hate for one is diluted by the hate for another. But this prick puts them all in the shade," began Waterboy, who ranked Terry at #4. Mr. Seven, who ranked him at #5, asks "What more can really be said? When Craig Bellamy effectively labels you a scumbag then there can be no defence. The sheer level of his rotten nature is quite literally written all over his face... A truly abhorrent human being." Rave, meanwhile, ranked Terry at #1, and claimed, "I wouldn’t piss on this cunt if he were on fire! He is the personification of everything that’s wrong with footballers today! ... A fucking twat!!!"

 

Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)?

Yes.

 

And so to summarise, John Terry is worse than...

Catching your significant other in bed with a footballer. Not saying which footballer, that bit is left entirely to your imagination, but whoever he is, he's just called some of his teammates and told them to come round and join in, and he looks up from her, sees you, chucks you his phone ... and he asks you to take some photos. You'd probably say yes as well, wouldn't you.

 

 

 

 

More of your views on more of your twat selections tomorrow.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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