Magnum Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) While Katy Perry is indeed fit, fitness shouldn't come into it when determining twattishness. I don't take personality into account when selecting wank material. I think that quote about 'changing people's lives' justifies her inclusion ahead of her husband on my list - even though he can be a twat at times, I think Russell Brand would be the first to admit he's basically a wordy cockney urchin who got very, very lucky indeed rather than the second coming of Jesus in a daft wig that Perry seems to think he is. Edited March 18, 2011 by Magnum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 While Katy Perry is indeed fit, fitness shouldn't come into it when determining twattishness. I don't take personality into account when selecting wank material. I think that quote justifies her inclusion ahead of her husband on my list - even though he can be a twat at times, I think Russell Brand would be the first to admit he's basically a wordy cockney urchin who got very, very lucky indeed rather than the second coming of Jesus in a daft wig that Perry seems to think he is. Â You have a beautiful, accurate way with words. I'd have just called him a cunt. We'd both be correct though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 18, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities    16 Michael McIntyre (2009 ranking: 12. Down 4)   What's he famous for? Stand-up comedy.  And you think he's a twat because... Okay, meteoric rises to fame probably entitle you to a little smugness. But when you radiate such an intense level of background smugness anyway, it's very easy to become completely unbearable, especially when you have stupid flouncy hair, the ability to laugh at anything as long as it's something you said yourself, and an intensely grating method of vocal delivery that can only be described as akin to playing about with an LP making it goreallyreallyfast then slooow because you have nothing better to do. LariatTom has no love for McIntyre, rankng him at #2: "Stupid stupid stupid stupid cunt. Thinks he's so hilarious, but he's so far up his own arse that he can probably see what he had for breakfast yesterday. His twat-power is so strong, that I can actually lose respect for someone who says they like him." "McIntyre's a smarmy twat..." concurs The Natural, who ranked him at #4.  Apologies must go to matbro1984, who ranked McIntyre at #10, and stated: "If this prick isn't in at least the top 10, I riot." Get rioting, then, matbro, because there are 15 people the UKFF hates more.  Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? No.  And so to summarise, Michael McIntyre is worse than... Sharing a small gym changing room with a sweaty, naked, wobbly gentleman of morbid obesity, whose musky odor of exertion and mould from the floppy areas he's never been able to reach somehow attaches itself to your nostrils and follows you home, forcing you to stop every few minutes to involuntarily retch.     We are now HALFWAY THROUGH the 2011 UKFF Celebrity Twatlist... Who's going to crack the top half? Who won't make it? Shocks? Surprises? Predictable entries? Edited March 18, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted March 18, 2011 Moderators Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) While Katy Perry is indeed fit, fitness shouldn't come into it when determining twattishness. I don't take personality into account when selecting wank material. Â Â Not at all? There's no shortage of celebrities with bangin bodies; if I find the person particularly twattish I will definitely cease finding them attractive (e.g. J-Lo, who I'm pretty confident I can say with certainty is an awful, awful person). Likewise, if she seems cool then she moves up the list. Â Â Edit: Yes! Good to see McIntyre on this list. I never completed and sent my list because I just didn't seem to have the venom and hate in me and couldn't think of the people.. but as the list progressing I find myself agreeing with a bunch of them and wishing I had got my list in. Edited March 18, 2011 by Chest Rockwell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 While Katy Perry is indeed fit, fitness shouldn't come into it when determining twattishness. I don't take personality into account when selecting wank material. Â Not at all? There's no shortage of celebrities with bangin bodies; if I find the person particularly twattish I will definitely cease finding them attractive (e.g. J-Lo, who I'm pretty confident I can say with certainty is an awful, awful person). Likewise, if she seems cool then she moves up the list. Â Hmmm...difficult to say, because certain things put me off certain celebrities (i.e Nadine Coyle's deeeeeep baritone Belfast accent that sounds like Harry Enfield's Gerry Adams impression, or Cheryl Cole's martyr complex), but those are people I only borderline fancied in the first place. To continue the Girls Aloud theme though, I think if I found out Sarah Harding was in the SS, I would still wank over her as long as her uniform was sufficiently skimpy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Commence riot. I voted him at #10 presuming that hatred for him was so vehement and obvious that he'd be ranked in the top 10 even if everyone who disliked him voted him lowest. Clearly, I'm wrong. Â The lack of Russell Brand and McIncunt not making the top 10 are big shockers to me. Disappointing, yes, but let's see who got in before moaning too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Glad to see Michael McIntyre made the list (thanks for using my quote HarmonicGenerator) and I fully agree with LariatTom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshC Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I only wanted to vote for one, and that was Katy Perry. Bravo Mr. Seven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted March 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 18, 2011 I've got a horrendous feeling that I missed McIntyre off my list. Poor show from me really, as the very first time I saw an advert for him - without any clue who he was - I was driven to changing channel. Many see him as being so mediocre and inoffensive, but there's few people I've found so rapidly irritating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 18, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) We enter the top half of the list with the final entry for today.     DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities    15 Jedward (2009 ranking: did not place)   What're they famous for? I'm not sure I know...  And you think they're twats because... "OHHHHHH", yelled air_raid_crash, who ranked Jedward at #1. "Words can't do it. They really can't sum up the blind rage I fly into when I see these mind-numbing bellends... when they speak, [my] flat mate has to stop me throwing the telly off the balcony. Just FUCK OFF you absolute waste-of-sperm, no-discernible-talent, ad-whoring, Hammer-massacring, Heat-reader moistening gorl-voiced Celebrity Juice-ruining pair of hairy gaping TWATS."  Though Mr. Seven's anger comes from a more national perspective, it is no less passionate than air_raid's. Seven ranked Jedward at #hisname! and explains: "Thankfully starting to die out a bit but Jesus fucking CHRIST. A joke that was never funny. I'm one of the least patriotic Irishmen you'll find but these guys really made me deeply ashamed of my nation, more so than the government that landed us in our worst recession on record and never even offered up an apology. More so than Louis Walsh. More so than that weirdo who interrupted a race and cost a runner the win. More so than Crystal Swing (YouTube that). More so than Paul McShane. Christ Ireland sucks. Not as much as Jedward though. Nothing sucks as much as them. Not even the winner of the previous list."  Were they voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)? Yes.  And so to summarise, Jedward are worse than... Waterboarding.     And now, the third batch of Nearlytwats, who all received votes, but not enough to be on the list:  Brandon Flowers, Fearne Cotton, Justin Lee Collins, The Loose Women ("people seem to lap it up because they are like totally real and in our living rooms. If they were in my living room, I'd make them have a gladiatorial fight to the death. At least then there could be some interest." - patdfb), Marcus Bentley, Omid Djalili, Paddy McGuinness ("Made Cilla Black's show Blind Date look high class. Did a routine based on northern colloquialisms - in Blackpool. So incredibly lazy, lowbrow and content to coast by on the energy created from people's brain cells evaporating." - Kay Burley Upskirt Formerly Surf Digby), Richard Bacon, Richard Keys ("What bothered me was his general odious presence. Gray was a wanker too but at least he provided some LOLZ with his bullshit commentary and opinions. Keys was just an arrogant cunt who believed he was untouchable. Well he wasn't. Game over pal." - Mr. Seven), Steve Evans, and Tom Cruise.     I'll probably do 2 more from the countdown tomorrow and 2 on Sunday to lead you all nicely into the Top 10 next week. Edited March 20, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted March 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 18, 2011 I cannot believe Vernon Kay didn't make the list, I was certain he'd be top 10. Pat, that's a great idea RE: Loose Women though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 18, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2011 I cannot believe Vernon Kay didn't make the list, I was certain he'd be top 10. Pat, that's a great idea RE: Loose Women though. Â Erm... I don't think Vernon Kay's been mentioned anywhere? And we're not up to the top 10 yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted March 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 18, 2011 I cannot believe Vernon Kay didn't make the list, I was certain he'd be top 10. Pat, that's a great idea RE: Loose Women though. Â Erm... I don't think Vernon Kay's been mentioned anywhere? And we're not up to the top 10 yet? Wow. Paddy McGuinness has now gotten so shite that I read his name as Vernon Kay. I skim-read the last nearly-twats, saw the Blind Date reference and thought the new version was presented by Vernon Kay. It must be the only prime time terrestrial game show that cunt doesn't host. Â On the bright side, good.....should be in the top 10 then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted March 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted March 18, 2011 Tom Cruise did not make it. He is a proper twat. Can we post our rants about people that didn't make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 18, 2011 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2011 Tom Cruise did not make it. He is a proper twat. Can we post our rants about people that didn't make it. Â Would rather you didn't if that's okay. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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