OOOLD SCHOOOOL

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Speaking of weird promotional shit during episodes of Raw, anyone remember when JR and Lawler hinted that Hogan was going to be at the Royal Rumble 98? Proper desperate tactic. "Whats this on the Superstar line, about Hulk Hogan entering the Royal Rumble on Sunday JR?" is what Lawler said. God, WWF and WCW were like dogs with bones back then werent they?

[The Cum Doctor]

WWE RAW 11/01/1993

 

Decided I'm gonna review all of the RAW and PPV shows from... well, I suppose it makes sense to start with the first RAW, doesn't it? Let's see if I can keep this up.

 

We start with Bobby Heenan getting told he's been replaced in the commentary booth.

 

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuka

 

You get the sense that this isn't going to end well for this guy, don't you? At this point, Yokozuna hasn't even been knocked down. That's the task that stands ahead for Koko. Koko stands off for a long time, which is probably the best course of action. Koko gets some joy early but misses a third Dropkick and it's all downhill from there. A damn fun squash ends with the Banzai Drop. Poor Koko.

 

We go to Bobby Heenan who is talking about The Narcissist, who is more perfect than Mr. Perfect. He'll unveil him at the Rumble.

 

The Steiner Brothers vs. Jobber Central

 

No idea who these guys are. Doesn't matter as they're gonna lose anyways. Apparently they're The Executioners. Doink is in the crowd in the background as this is going on. They botch a move and Vince McMahon does a great job of covering on commentary. Steiners win another cracking squash with the Doomsday Bulldog.

 

A security guard has detained a woman on the floor. Apparently he's Rob Bartlett's mother but it turns out that it's Bobby Heenan. He's a desperate man!

 

Next up, we have a special interview with Razor Ramon, who has a title match with Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble 1993. There's another episode of RAW to come before that point though. Razor mocks Vince talking up Bret Hart's journey which is pretty funny. He soon gets pissed off with Vince calling him a Johnny-Come-Lately. Razor says it was fun to squash Owen Hart, which I suppose explains why he did that. Razor Ramon is awesome as the guy who just KNOWS he's a prick and enjoys being so. The fans take exception to him throwing his toothpick in the face of Vinny Mac which is superb.

 

Shawn Michaels © vs. Max Moon - WWE Intercontinental Championship

 

While I don't think it'll happen, another squash match here would be very appealing. A portion of the audience seem to be really wanting HBK to come out on top in this one. Bartlett: "During the break, HBK pulled a knife." Worth noting that at ringside we have Doink going mental at ringside and Mike Tyson impersonator, and not very good one, on the phone. Too much distraction in this match, and the action is pretty average on top of that. HBK gets the win with a Capture Back Drop Suplex in a pretty dull match.

 

We go to a countdown to the Royal Rumble, where we have a preview for Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty. Jannetty forsees Sherri's face turn during his little bit. We see entries for the Rumble match itself. We also have words from Mr. Perfect and Yokozuna which don't really amount to much.

 

So after that, we wind up going to the outside as well. Some guy in a beard turns up and wants to go in and it's Bobby Heenan yet again. He now pleads with Sean Mooney to get inside.

 

We go back to Kamala on a previous show and Kim Chee pushes him and Harvey Whippleman gets in his face and they appear to be bullying him. Rev. Slick heads for the ring and tries to get them away. Slick tells them that they are out and he gets sent down with a right hand. Kamala is not a happy chappy with that. He chops Kim Chee and gets a HUGE chop. Harvey does a runner and Kamala gives chase.

 

The Undertaker vs. Damien Demento

 

Demento doesn't appear to be afraid of the Taker and actually delivers some right hands to the big man. Demento wasn't really up to much, was he? Even in a squash match which this basically was, he looked absolutely rancid. Tombstone ends with absolute travesty.

 

We now go to ringside and Vince McMahon says that Doink has been warned about making children cry. Crush heads for the ringside. Doink then shoots a water pistol in his face and Doink does a runner. Crush gets into the ring and his music plays. That might have been one of the more nonsensical things I've seen recently.

 

Bobby Heenan is allowed into the show as it ends. That marks the end of a pretty boring episode of RAW. Next week we apparently have Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow in a Steel Cage Match. Okay then.

[JNLister]

I have the feeling the Executioners are Gill and Hardy under masks.

[Devon Malcolm]

I watched that Raw recently. I wish HBK had pulled a knife - on Rob Bartlett. Twat.

[air_raid]

We go to Bobby Heenan who is talking about The Narcissist, who is more perfect than Mr. Perfect. He'll unveil him at the Rumble.

 

But is he actually talking about "The Narcissist" or "Narcissus?"

[PowerButchi]

I have the feeling the Executioners are Gill and Hardy under masks.

 

Wrong. As everyone knows, it's Buddy Rose and Terry Gordy. Christ Lister!

[PowerButchi]

WCW PRO FUN CLUB

 

Here's the link, let's all try and get a review up by Easter Sunday and see what we all think.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAx0zQFruwg

[The Cum Doctor]

We go to Bobby Heenan who is talking about The Narcissist, who is more perfect than Mr. Perfect. He'll unveil him at the Rumble.

 

But is he actually talking about "The Narcissist" or "Narcissus?"

 

Narcissus. The funny way he was saying it sounded like the former.

[Vamp]

WCW PRO FUN CLUB

 

Here's the link, let's all try and get a review up by Easter Sunday and see what we all think.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAx0zQFruwg

 

This was more fun to write than what I should have been writing so here goes:

 

A car crash follows a Steve McMichael reference, good call.

 

It's Joey...Chris Cruise. I'm pretty sure he's a used cars salesman. Dusty's Paul E Dangerously. The entrance screen looks like something from one of those People's Court shows.

 

It's like a TNA crowd, only one that cares. We kick off with Eddie G vs. Jushy Liger. Liger pays his tributes to the legendary Konnan with a roley poley kick. Dusty makes the most awful link between weight and the heavyweight title as we see the most contrived superplex I've seen for quite a long time. These

kids need to learn how to work. Larry reckons Jap refs are quicker, they're really really not. They tease another superplex which we're meant to care about when they did one about three mins ago. These two need a lesson from Freud. Eddy descends from the heavens for the three.

 

I take back the Joey Styles comment on Chris Cruise. Joey Styles was utter shite until he went to the 'E, Cruise is clearly miles better. Larry's clearly uditioning for James Bond. And now does a lecture on commercialism, while working for Turner. He really is a Renaissance man.

 

The fans really don't react to that Trucker guy coming in. Did Cruise just calls the Steiners the Sockers? That'd be an awesome name for a tag team. They

should give him the book.

 

Everything about the Steiners in this period is fried gold. Let's hope these rookies can keep up. Masahero Ohno (no relation) and some bloke. Larry Z likes murderers and is worried Benoit's facing a different kind of human being. A sane one presumably. WCW's been around since 1905, that must make a lot of people feel old. Awesome belly to belly from the top rope by one of the Steiners, I forget who. The ref lets a low blow go for international relations but the

Steiners aren't jobbing to these rookies. Kennyjobs, but with those cycle shorts he deserves too.

 

We're promised TABLETOP MENACE (Warhammer turns into a real war maybe?)! But we get Gene making a run for President. Bubba Rogers vs. Tenta looks like the best match for GAB 96. Weak arse card.

 

The tourists wiggle for the Public Enemy. Literally. All I see is gyrating bum bags and a man shagging his daughter in the crowd. One of the Armstrongs gets

killed with a powerbomb, fans don't like it. Rock debuts the 619 (Cena's in for a hardtime this Sunday against that kinda offence). Everyone's firing up for GAB, except for Ice hopefully.

 

I want a Croissant Pocket...

 

I know it was a wooden chair but Sting and Steiner really take liberties with the Giant.

 

Whatever happens at the close of the show at least we got to hear the American Males tune as Riggs comes out. Looks like this one might be a rigged contest. No? Fine. I always loved the spinning ring. Flair shakes hands, he never could work heel. Ric seems to ask for a back massage half way through. Riggs is on FIRE. Ric bails and does his Brucie impression on the outside to make sure people think he's straight. He also hits one of the most atrocious knees I've ever seen. Flair does make Riggs look awesome though, even with knees dodgier than Hogan's hips. Ric ties Riggs up and shags his foot. Lots of shagging for this time in the morning.

 

And that's all we have time for folks. Pro definately looks like a show that's worth watching, the set up looks great, there's squashes, faces that went on to do great things, a great announce team, a ring that spins, murderers and incest. Something for everyone then.

[humanracer]

Does anyone remember the RAW after Summerslam 98? No main eventers and all the matches were crap DQ finishes. Night off for most of the roster?

[Devon Malcolm]

Go away you dull bastard.

[WWFChilli]

Does anyone remember the RAW after Summerslam 98? No main eventers and all the matches were crap DQ finishes. Night off for most of the roster?

 

Ken Shamrock & Steve Blackman fought the DOA (w/ Paul Ellering) to a no contest when the Undertaker and Kane interfered

Val Venis fought Vader to a no contest when the Undertaker and Kane interfered

The Rock & Mark Henry defeated WWF Tag Team Champions Billy Gunn & the Road Dogg (w/ Chyna) via disqualification when Chyna attacked Henry

Southern Justice defeated the Headbangers when Dennis Knight pinned Mosh with the Problem Solver

X-Pac fought WWF European Champion D-Lo Brown to a no contest when Jeff Jarrett attacked X-Pac, the Undertaker and Kane attempted to attack D-Lo, and the Rock made the save

Edge fought Marc Mero (w/ Jackie) to a no contest when Gangrel attacked Edge and the Undertaker and Kane attacked Mero

Kurrgan & the Giant Silva (w/ Golga, Luna, & the ICP) defeated Road Warrior Animal & Droz when a drunken Road Warrior Hawk interfered and was chokeslammed and pinned by Silva

Brian Christopher & Scott Taylor defeated Miguel Perez & Jesus Castillo after Brian Christopher hit the legdrop off the top

Jeff Jarrett defeated Scorpio via disqualification when X-Pac interfered; the Undertaker and Kane attacked Scorpio after the match until Taker chased off Vince McMahon at ringside

 

No stars? Fuck off lad. It had D-Lo!

[tiger_rick]

Watched the next Raw of 1997, 13th February. The infamous Thursday Raw Thursday. Or Raw Thursday Raw according to Vince.

 

This one I have seen before a couple of times. back at the start of 1997, I'd hardly seen much WWF for a couple of years. I didn't know anyone who was still into it and we didn't have Sky so all I'd seen for a while were PPV's I'd bought the official tapes of and a couple of those Best of Raw tapes. Someone recorded the 1997 Royal Rumble for me and then I started babysitting for someone who had Sky so I'd catch Raw or the weekend shows. It was pretty mind blowing. Steve Austin was state of the art, Bret Hart was incredible, Undertaker was cool, Ahmed was mental and the whole product had grown up.

 

This one starts with Rocky Miavia upsetting Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the IC Title. This match and the switch came out of nowhere. I still don't know that the motivation was behind it. The product had real depth back then and it wasn't just slow moving black and white television. hunter was in the midst of a feud with Goldust, had battle Mero on the previous show who he'd been feuding with recently and then got upset by Miavia for his title, giving him someone else to focus on. The match is decent. Rocky wasn't that bad. I don't think the fans turned on him because he was terrible but because rebellion was in the air. Mr nicey-nice wasn't going to cut it. he could've done with a finisher too.

 

Headbangers vs. Montoya and Holly was just a showcase of the Headbangers who were starting to get over. They were a cracking team, bundles of energy and some really cool moves. Holly debuted in 1993, I think, which meant by this point he'd been running the gimmick on and off for 4 years without doing anything remotely memorable. Montoya was rubbish.

 

Shawn Michaels gives up the WWF title next. I'm not sure anyone had ever given it up before. This is one of those interviews that you kind of forget about until you watch it again. It's one of the best I've ever seen. Michaels is just incredible. It obviously all seems phoney looking back because he was back 4 months later but the emotion is so raw that Michaels is either the world's greatest actor or he genuinely believed this might be it. If you haven't seen this, you need to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t2SefgDzZM Vince McMahon and JR are brilliant here. Tiny input but means so much.

 

Undertaker vs. Savio is pretty dull until the post-match pagga. Ahmed makes the save, somehow smashes his 2x4 in half and does the worst "throw someone over the top rope" spot in history.

 

Sid vs. Austin ends in a quick no contest when Bret interferes. The pull-apart brawls every week were awesome.

 

Owen & Bulldog do their best with Faarooq & Crush but it's pretty tedious. Finish comes when Owen is counted out after injuring his knee. Bulldog takes a post-match pasting as Owen can't get in to help. Owen appears more hurt than the last time. Bulldog doesn't believe him for some reason. Another feature of the black & white divide being blurred here as the NoD gave babyfaces a pasting earlier and heels a pasting this time.

 

Bret vs. Vader features a pre-match interruption from Undertaker and distraction from Austin, setting up the Final Four PPV. It's a solid match as you'd expect and despite the distraction, Bret beats Vader. Vader never quiet clicked in the WWF which is a shame because he was cracking in early 1997. The Final Four PPV was probably his best performance too.

 

It's half a good show this one. The roster is brilliant at the top end but lacks a bit of depth. The negative side of the move to 2 hours is that we end up with Nation Of Domination and other tat in 10 minute matches. The HBK angle obviously caused a lot of disruption on the road to WrestleMania so they can be forgiven a bit for having to chuck things together here.

[The Cum Doctor]

WWE RAW 18/01/1993

 

Repo Man attacks Savage right off the bat. I forgot that guy even existed. Anyways Vince and Rob are tending to Savage who appears to be a little shaken up, but not hurt. I guess they were going for chaotic and mental, but it just turned out to be "guy gets jumped".

 

"Terrific" Terry Taylor vs. Mr. Perfect

 

The fans are into Perfect in a big way here. I love the look of that old venue and I always did. It looked shit when ECW used it though. It's amazing what a venue can look like when in the hands of people that know what they're actually doing. This match actually got me sucked right into it, so kudos to the two guys for that. It even does a good job of making us think that Terry Taylor has the slightest chance of winning the match, so MAJOR kudos on that count. Perfect gets a cracking win against the odds with the Perfect Plex despite Ric Flair's best efforts. That was a really enjoyable match.

 

We now go to a special interview with Bret Hart after Razor Ramon had one the previous week. Bret Hart thinks Razor Ramon is the lowest scum in WWE. He also says he is technically the best. When was Bret Hart ever bad on the mic? He's as convincing as ever here, if not amazing or anything. Anyways, he says he's gonna win as he's the toughest, the meanest and the best.

 

Marty Jannetty vs. Glen Ruth

 

Glen Ruth is one of the Headbangers, right? Anyways, he has on the awesome trunks that I always remembered that he had, and then he attacks Marty from behind to get the match going. Heel jobber is about to get his arse kicked I feel. The match is a bit plodding actually, and I'm beginning to wish that it was simply just a short squash match. After a lot of boring arm offense from Marty, he gets the Rocker Dropper and the win. I could do without seeing that match ever again. It was shite.

 

We now go to footage of Crush/Doink, where Doink takes a fake arm and beats Crush half to death with it. That was an amazing angle at the time. According to Randy Savage, "word on the street" says Doink's arm was filled with lead. Aye, on the street.

 

Repo Man is outside and he has Randy Savage's hat and Savage is absolutely raging. This segment is basically Repo Man laughing and Randy Savage standing around looking like a dick. If you're gonna do something, then do something for fuck sake!

 

Anyways, we go to the Royal Rumble build, and Razor Ramon is not intimidated by things being personal, and he makes a short time of telling Bret Hart he's gonna win. Razor Ramon is absolutely awesome here. We go through some names for the Rumble, and then we get reminded that Sherri will be in the corner of Marty Jannetty or Shawn Michaels. WHAT SIDE IS SHE ON?!

 

Sean Mooney is outside and now Randy Savage is outside looking for Repo Man. He's still looking pretty silly here.

 

El Matador vs. Ric Flair

 

Here's match with some serious potential actually. The two men had a really good match at the Royal Albert Hall as far as memory tells me. I hate the spot when a guy does a finisher and then celebrates instead of going for the pin. As for the match itself, this is really good much like the match earlier on and Matador was going mental in the match which I suppose sort of excuses my wee nag about celebrating. The ending with Flair and Perfect brawling was cool too. Good stuff.

 

The brawl heads back to ringside and the officials are trying to keep them apart. Ric Flair says the WWF isn't big enough for both he and Mr. Perfect. So we're going to see Loser Leaves WWE between Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair. Mr. Perfect is back and he says he'll take that in a heartbeat.

 

That is a cracking episode actually.

 

Next up.. the Royal Rumble!

[The Cum Doctor]

WWE Royal Rumble 1993

 

We've got Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan doing the commentary for this one! I almost forgot Gorilla existed around this time!

 

The Beverly Brothers vs. The Steiner Brothers

 

Ugh. Never been a fan of the Beverly Brothers. Find them to be pretty boring. The Steiner Brothers are awesome though and at this point, could probably have gotten a good match from anyone, so I'm hoping that this is a better than expected opening match. The good thing here is that the Beverlys have a very one track mind with their game plan. Wear down the back of Scott Steiner and they stick to the plan very rigidly while they still can. The crowd is MAJOR into this match. This all leads to the match being absolutely great fun to watch. Scott winds up getting the pin with the Frankensteiner, but not before Rick drops one of them on their heads with one of the most vicious German Suplexes you'll EVER see.

 

Shawn Michaels © vs. Marty Jannetty - WWE Intercontinental Championship

 

Marty gets the match going with all sorts of fire and anger. HBK slows things right down when he gets the chance, and then has his sights set on the shoulder of Marty which becomes the focal point of the match. Jannetty sells the shoulder like an absolute trooper when this is going on as well. The match only changes when HBK seems to lose focus to try and toy with Marty, and it doesn't work out well for him as this is when Jannetty starts to turn the match around. It's a shame that Jannetty seemingly forgets all about the shoulder as soon as the momentum switches in the match. The crowd is RABID towards the end and a couple of big nearfalls help. Shawn Michaels wins the match in the end with the Superkick and that's a belter.

 

The Big Bossman vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

 

Ooooohhhh, two good big men here. Should be fun! These two guys just throw the heavy artillery at each other right off the bat. Things slow down a bit though when Bigelow takes control of the match, but it's more deliberate than boring, so I'll let it slide. It does get a bit tedious when Bigelow continually locks in the Waistlock though. The match never really recovers at that point as the whole thing is just a bit sloppy untill Bigelow gets the win with the Falling Headbutt off the top rope.

 

Bret Hart © vs. Razor Ramon - WWE World Heavyweight Championship

 

Hart comes to the ring not looking like a happy chappy whatsoever. That was a bit cheesy for Razor's standards. The early pace of the match is electric, as Hart just wants to take Ramon's leg home as a trophy, while Ramon is just one aggressive son of a bitch. The pace of the match doesn't really let up much. Even when Ramon is in control of the match, his mean streak means he wants to just inflict all sorts of punishment, and this continues when he starts to go to work on the body, as he is just completely relentless with it. The match finally loses some steam when Hart is going into the moves of doom. Not enough to take away from what was an absolutely terrific title match though. Hart winds up retaining the title with the Sharpshooter but Ramon came out of this one looking brilliant too.

 

We now have The Narcissist unveiled. Not much to be added other than Heenan is annoying as fuck during it. Oh, and Luger challenges Mr. Perfect.

 

The Royal Rumble Match

 

The only things I could really remember about this one were 1) Giant Gonzalez and 2) The Final Two. First thing worth noting is that Flair and Backlund really are having a battle.The segment with Flair made Perfect look like a REAL contender and a couple of eliminations shortly after didn't harm the cause any. Gonzalez's part in the match is a load of crap to be fair, and is just far too long. It doesn't help that for a while after that, the ring is filled with people who don't really interest me. Outside of the Backlund ( how long was he actually in there? ) story. The fans actually cheer IRS battering Matador because it meant Backlund stayed in the ring. In the end, he made the final three and was over as fuck as a result. He eventually goes out third last to a Yoko punting. In the end, Yokozuna puts a stop to a gallant fightback from Randy Savage in a cracking final two. The match itself just drags and drags for too long though.

 

That was a damn fun PPV. Even the Rumble had it's moments and there was an opening one-two punch to be pretty happy with. Probably the best match The Beverlys ever had.