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General Movie (Film for snobs) News Thread


CaptainCharisma

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New Dad's Army movie? What? And more importantly, why?!

 

Remake starring Toby Jones and Bill Nighy as Mainwairing and Wilson (with undoubtedly an Ian Lavender cameo and probably the lanky one off the inbetweeners or some sort as Pike no doubt), why? Money, I expect. Also now that most of the original cast are in their graves they can achieve maximum spinnage.

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Couldn't find the trailer thread but here is the trailer for Stephen Chows latest movie.

Looks just as crazy as his last movie Kung Fu Hustle:

 

Also Donnie Yen's Monkey King is out soon - very positive reviews

 

Jackie Chan's 2012 movie Armour of God 3: Chinese Zodiac is finally coming out

and a reboot of the Police Story series minus the comedy it seems sadly

 

Also Tony Jaa vs Dolph Lundgren and Tony Jaa vs Michael Jai White in

Edited by Jas
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Speaking of Tony Jaa, has anyone seen The Protector II? It's another "someone stole my elephant" story, but it's pretty fucking awful this time. The action sequences, usually top-notch, have been ruined by 1998-level CG, but it is worth watching for one thing. The English-speaking characters in a couple of small roles are genuinely the worst actors I've ever seen. Their line delivery is like something you'd see in a parody of a shit movie, and I can only assume there was nobody on the production with English as a first language and they simply couldn't tell that a foreign-speaker was acting so, so, so terribly. It's truly astounding.

 

I'd recommend everyone seek it out, if only for that, because it's unlike anything I've ever seen make it into a proper movie. It's so far beyond the usual "they're shit" level of poor acting, and like someone just gave a script to a passing football hooligan who can't even read.

 

Previously, the worst acting I've ever witnessed was by Frank Bruno in the terrible hooligan film, Cass. He manages to give the world's worst performance while not even having any lines, in a 2 second cameo as a doorman, but manages to look so hilariously and obviously like a man who's aware that he's in a film and 'acting' as he stands there.

Edited by Astro Hollywood
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Yeah I've seen the Protector 2 - it is absolutely horrendous. It pretty much completes Tony Jaa's trilogy of shit movies since the first Protector movie (Ong Bak 2 & 3 being complete turds)

 

Good thing Gareth Evans & Iko Uwais came on the scene to give Hong Kong/China a bit of competition.

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I heard it wasn't as good as the first, but not as bad as you've just put it. Reminds me of what happened to the Ong Bak series.

 

I watched Scott Adkins latest film Ninja: Shadow of a Tear. It's the kind of film you would rent from you local in the 80s or early 90s on VHS. Simple, but entertaining.

 

 

Adkins has done ok for himself, became a fan after I saw him in Undisputed. He is actually from the West Midlands, I went to the same college as him, although he would have been long gone before I went there. I guess it's cool to see someone local do so well. Don't know what he was thinking about being in that The Legend of Hercules though, fucking hell that is one awful film. I had to go watch some of the old Kevin Sorbo stuff just to burn that movie out my head.

Edited by The Total Package
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Adkins has done ok for himself, became a fan after I saw him in Undisputed. He is actually from the West Midlands, I went to the same college as him, although he would have been long gone before I went there. I guess it's cool to see someone local do so well. Don't know what he was thinking about being in that The Legend of Hercules though, fucking hell that is one awful film. I had to go watch some of the old Kevin Sorbo stuff just to burn that movie out my head.

 

I didn't hate that Hercules film :blush:. I think I must've really been in the mood for it and not expecting much, also I think I was really stoned which helps. Adkins seems cool, apparently he auditioned for Batman in the film Ben Affleck got the part in but I can't imagine they were ever seriously considering him for it seeing as how the people they offered it to were Ryan Gosling, Ben Affleck and Josh Brolin. I'll definitely check out that ninja film he's in, sounds up my street.

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The only plus in that Hercules film, other than Adkins, was the god of war type weapons he got and the fighting he did with them. I was in the mood for it after watching 300: Rise of an Empire, but what a massive nose dive in quality it was, not even TV level, and I don't mean special effects, the acting and everything else was just off. I know The Rock won't let me down as much. Yeah I heard Adkins went for that role, fair play to him for giving it a shot. He could still find himself in some kind of superhero/villain role, or maybe he is in star wars :laugh:

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Previously, the worst acting I've ever witnessed was by Frank Bruno in the terrible hooligan film, Cass. He manages to give the world's worst performance while not even having any lines, in a 2 second cameo as a doorman, but manages to look so hilariously and obviously like a man who's aware that he's in a film and 'acting' as he stands there.

 

I can't believe there is a film about that twat Pennant.

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The football hooligan film market is huge. Some prick I went to school with, who has BNP down as his religion on Facebook (we're not friends, but he came up on the 'people you might know' thing) has Rise of the Footsoldier listed as his favourite film. Thickies love dem hooligans and gangster shitfests. Football and Dave Courtney, that's what they want in films.

 

I didn't know at the time, or I probably would have gone along ( :( ) but a fight scene in dreadful early 80s-set film Awaydays was filmed on the exact spot most of the Beach Diaries were written, right atop and beside Millard's Rise. Because it looks like a place from 1981.

 

edit -- my mistake, it was Nick 'cunting' Love's remake of The Firm. Amazing.

 

QkfRnVm.jpg

 

Millard's Rise, on the left.

Edited by Astro Hollywood
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Yeah I've seen the Protector 2 - it is absolutely horrendous. It pretty much completes Tony Jaa's trilogy of shit movies since the first Protector movie (Ong Bak 2 & 3 being complete turds)

 

Good thing Gareth Evans & Iko Uwais came on the scene to give Hong Kong/China a bit of competition.

 

I disagree on Ong Bak 2. The weapon fights are amazing in that. Part 3 is the drizzling shits though. Sad to hear Warrior King 2 is awful. I've been looking forward to that for ages. That Skin Trade trailer more than made up for it though.

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I had some dealings with Pennant when I worked for his publishing company's distributor - it was a trying time. I can't remember now what it was that he inserted into every. fucking. sentence. I think it might have been "you get me?", as in "The launch party of Steel City Rivalry wasn't supposed to start a fight between blades and owls, you get me, Bill? It just did, you get me?"

 

He's a cunt. A horrible cunt.

 

Millard's Rise, on the left.

 

Odd. I would have expected Millard's rise to be sticking out of the bushes.

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