Mental health

[SuperBacon]

CharlesFuckerTheTurd.

[SuperBacon]

I've had a wretched time recently (always gets bad around this time of year) but what has shocked me the most this bout of shitness, is just how quickly I've turned to food as a comfort.

I'm not going to turn this into another food or health thread, but when really overweight people (god I'm so sorry if that's not the right thing to say, I really am) talk about how hard it is to break the cycle of overeating/unhealthy eating, its so true.

Last week I had a massive Dominos one night (way too much as well but did feed me for two days), then on Friday I had for lunch a chicken curry slice, two sausage rolls, a bacon turnover and two danishes for lunch. Dinner I absolutely cba so I ordered a large doner and chips with an extra (unnecessary) portion of chips, and I probably had about 12 packets of crisps. Maybe 3 or 4 cans of drink as well.

All I want to do is eat rubbish and drink fizzy drink, and when you're feeling so low its really hard to break out of that.

I'm sure I'll motivate myself to cook again this week and try and stay away from fizz and crisps (my one true love) but God its hard.

Anyway, keep fighting the good fight lads, and it'll be spring soon...ish.

[DavidB6937]

Oh I'm exactly the same. I'd lost a few stone early last year and I was in a good place. Once all the stuff with our son happened I lost all of that and now I'm stuck in a horrible cycle. Nearly put it all back on now. As someone who doesn't drink or smoke etc it's always been my "thing" and yeah it's been all too easy to slip back into it. And I just don't know where I can find the energy or focus to fight it when I've got so much other stuff going on. I feel like I've only got so much to give.

[lars85]

Don't know where else to put this. But I'm really struggling right now. Don't feel like I'll ever feel better. I don't want to give up but it all feels so hopeless. I want to get better but nothing seems to work. If anyone has anything to say,  no matter how much of a cliche, I'd really appreciate it. As corny as it sounds the only thing keeping me going is the Liam Gallagher song Too Good For Giving Up. 

[BigJag]

I went to a Magic show last night. Lots of simple tricks that enthralled the crowd. Please try to do something fun and entertaining. The Magician was Magic Singh. Check him out on YouTube.

[Ronnie]

8 hours ago, lars85 said:

If anyone has anything to say,  no matter how much of a cliche, I'd really appreciate it.

Pepper's a good-looking boy, isn't he? Bet he loves his dad, too.

[johnnyboy]

8 hours ago, lars85 said:

If anyone has anything to say,  no matter how much of a cliche, I'd really appreciate it.

You're loved.

Biggest cliche, because it's one of the truest in this case, is try talking to someone.  You could see your GP to get a mental health referral or if you can access private therapy that's an option.

Have a look at CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) resources. 

https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support

The Samaritans are also an option.  Call 116 123

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Take care and be kind to yourself.

[DavidB6937]

8 hours ago, lars85 said:

Don't know where else to put this. But I'm really struggling right now. Don't feel like I'll ever feel better. I don't want to give up but it all feels so hopeless. I want to get better but nothing seems to work. If anyone has anything to say,  no matter how much of a cliche, I'd really appreciate it. As corny as it sounds the only thing keeping me going is the Liam Gallagher song Too Good For Giving Up. 

Firstly, we're all thinking of you.

Secondly, be incredibly proud of yourself for posting that and reaching out. That's often the hardest part. It shows you want to be here and you want to find a way to keep going and that's a massive thing. 

As others have posted, do try to go through any official services if you can. Any support is good but trained people that have a greater understanding of these situations are invaluable. Listening services are incredibly helpful but also please go and see a health professional and discuss potential ways forward.

You absolutely are not alone and taking those steps will hopefully make you feel a little less alone. 

Obviously this is all written with no knowledge of your situation and what you've already tried if anything. But I do know no matter how hard life gets, there's many ways for a lot of people to keep going, and I truly hope some of them work for you.

[Jesse]

10 hours ago, lars85 said:

If anyone has anything to say,  no matter how much of a cliche, I'd really appreciate it.

I feel this way all the time, and every time I've felt it it's eventually been followed with something that makes me grateful I kept going. I've run the gauntlet (medication, group therapy, CBT) and it never goes away forever for me - I just spent the last two weeks crashing out and feeling ready to burn my life down - but it happens less and the pull gets weaker now there's more to my life.

I've never liked the "It gets better" stuff, it rings too false to me. But it can get better and the only way to know if it will is to be there to see it. In the meantime, do what you can for yourself. Good music, nice food, a night's entertainment. Anything to stave off the dread for a few minutes or an hour is a lifeline to your future.

[DavidB6937]

21 minutes ago, Jesse said:

I've never liked the "It gets better" stuff, it rings too false to me. But it can get better and the only way to know if it will is to be there to see it.

Better can very much be a perception thing more than anything. I think putting pressure on yourself to "get better" or "healed" or whatever else can ultimately make things worse in the long run because your aims can be unachievable. 

Sometimes it's just about learning to exist. To survive. Have a more achievable baseline and then go from there.

Plus there are many things that can't actually be "fixed" or "changed". Say for example my son passing away this year. No one can fix that. I'll never be who I was before, and life will never be what it was. It's about slowly rebuilding a new normal and a new me.

Coping with mental health struggles can be as much about perception and having an outside voice giving you a more logical and grounded picture of yourself and life. Baby steps. 

[The Gaffer]

There's some great posts here. Thanks @lars85 for doing the gnarly bit and getting everyone going with it!

For me - personally - simply partaking in this kind of proactive community and discussion is probably the biggest help to me when the blues hit bad. To play on the points previously made, this is definitely where some of the old cliches come in, but I like to think of the whole endeavour as throwing your brain something to chew on whilst your nervous system climbs down off the jungle gym. In this sense - so long as you don't confuse the map with the territory, and so long as that map isn't putting you or others at risk - if the map is cliche ridden then fuck it. That's perfectly fine. Oftentimes you'll look up from it, realise a few hours have passed, and you're - if not 'better' - then at least a little further along, and a little more removed from the eye of the storm that your thoughts/nervous system was in. That's the real value of a map, a model, just talking. 

There's a sort of hard nosed mundanity to that which I like, as it doesn't ask a lot of you, unlike the subconscious pressure to 'attain' based on lacks that so much of Western wellness culture is centred around now. You're having a crap time, you can't control all of it, so just give yourself something to do and see after the fact if your body and mind have played catch up a little. A lot of the time, they will have. When I was at my lowest going through a horrible breakup a few years ago, I decided to throw on the first John Wick on a particularly bad night and resolved to just sit there with it and not check my phone. After an hour, I was having a good time with myself. 

Full disclosure: There's an obvious sense of glibness to some of this. It's not a stand in when more experienced intervention is required. This is just me trying my best to word the base that I work from when I have it bad. 

@Jesse Apologies if you've tried it already, but if you do ever get to a point where you're going to part with some cash for therapy again it might be worth looking into something like gestalt or IFS. It's more humanistic/talk therapy based than CBT but more challenging and involved. 

CBT can be terrific for acute issues - fantastic for immediate panic, phobias, situational occurrences -  but I do believe personally it's perhaps not so effective at core/longstanding parts of the self that need a bit of a dig! 

 

 

 

Edited November 9, 2025 by The Gaffer

[DavidB6937]

Also - don't be scared if therapy doesn't "work".

As noted, there's lots of different types, but it can be as much about the person you're doing it with as anything. So don't feel scared to speak up if you're not feeling it.

Personally I had one that just sat there and basically let me talk but I didn't find that particularly insightful or useful. The one I'm with now as part of ongoing grief support via the local hospice is a million times better. But we had a very open and frank conversation in the first session about what I didn't want and that really helped us to follow a better path.

Unfortunately it's quite often you won't know until you've tried but don't see it as wasted time. You'll be learning and taking steps in the right direction regardless.

[Devon Malcolm]

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD. I'm going through the 'I can't accept this diagnosis, other people have been through much worse!' stage - one of the most common thoughts associated with CPTSD.

I did have three trauma therapy sessions for it, and they were having an effect. Then my therapist went on long-term sick at what is always the toughest time of the year. So I started playing Peggle again and that was helping until I tried to do '750,000?' and now I need anger management therapy.

[lars85]

I've read everything in here and the personal messages you've sent me. I'll get back to you all in time. Just wanted to say a massive thank you to you all. You don't know how much I appreciate all your kind words. It's helped so much. Couldn't be more proud of this place.

[BigJag]

Morning. I have a friend who probably has a mental health problem. He masks it with alcohol. His intake of alcohol is excessive. Refuses to stick with any alcohol recovery plan. He's a physical wreck and a bit of a recluse. The alcohol abuse has damaged his health in numerous ways and he continues to make foolish personal decisions. His decision making has caused him to lose his job. He also has the responsibility of caring for his elderly mother, who has her own mental health issues.

Does anyone have any advice on strategies to help someone who is a valued yet infuriating friend.

Edited January 25 by BigJag