Paid Members Supremo Posted May 16 Paid Members Share Posted May 16 The thing with Mercedes that no-one wants to admit is that the problems with her act aren’t going to magically vanish once she starts having regular matches. It’ll get better, obviously, because she’s a much better wrestler than she is a promo. But let’s not pretend she isn’t wildly inconsistent between the ropes, too. Sometimes she’s Eddie Guerrero. A lot of times she’s Sin Cara. Worst finisher in the business, too. It’s the one thing no-one can say out loud when they’ve discussed her injury in that match with Willow last year. Willow didn’t actually cause the injury, even within the fiction. Mercedes just fell off the top rope, once again trying something she’s not really athletically capable of doing safely. Watching that Willow and Mercedes promo, they might as well have used that split screen graphic that Timeless Toni uses, where one half is black and white and the other half is colour. Their styles and delivery were that diametrically opposed. Willow’s this impassioned, endearing, inspiring babyface, whereas Mercedes is a WWE robot. She’s in the Performance Center, hitting her marks. I felt everything from Willow. I felt nothing from Mercedes beyond the relief she’s at least playing heel. It’s as if those WWE-style promos are so full of weird verbiage and strict, specific rhythms that just getting the words out of your mouth is the achievement. The idea of adding some passion, believable delivery or dramatic inflections is secondary. They’re completely vacuous. It reminds me of when you’re a kid and you have to read something out in class. All that matters is that you say all the words and get it over with as soon as possible. Anyway, if you assume this is Bryan Danielson’s last Anarchy in the Arena, and they want to keep the tradition of having a musical element at the start; they have to pony up the money for Final Countdown, surely? Love the idea of there being bedlam everywhere, Danielson’s murdering someone, but then he stops every time the chorus hits to sing it with the crowd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted May 16 Paid Members Share Posted May 16 35 minutes ago, Supremo said: She’s in the Performance Center, hitting her marks. Her constantly doing that stupid dance pose she does just screams Performance Center. Also her theme music is just terrible. And not in a def rebel way either. There's just so much going on it, it's just a wall of overwhelming shit noise. A orchestral sample, hip hop beat, chanting, her rapping badly, weird effects...it's just so many different elements and none of them work together at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted May 16 Paid Members Share Posted May 16 (edited) Yeeeah I think a passable knock off of her WWE theme would have been fine honestly, it’s worked for Joe where every promotion has done something broadly Simon Says/Godzilla-esque. WWE have also done it for Jade Cargill, keeping her theme near identical to the AEW one. The Sasha Banks WWE theme suited her perfectly and had an instantly recognisable hype building intro like great wrestling themes often do. No shame in ripping it off if it works. Edited May 16 by JLM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB6937 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 Can't wait for the inevitable C-E-JerichO down the line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Supremo Posted May 16 Paid Members Share Posted May 16 42 minutes ago, LaGoosh said: Her constantly doing that stupid dance pose she does just screams Performance Center. She's spammed that taunt so much that she's going to start that match at the Pay Per View with two Signatures and three Finishers already stored. Willow's got no chance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snitsky's back acne Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 6 hours ago, I Bent My Wookie said: "he's too large to be wearing a floral pattern" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Duke Posted May 16 Paid Members Share Posted May 16 6 hours ago, LaGoosh said: All I could think of when I saw Joe, HOOK and Shibata together was "these guys would make great Trios Champs". If they have any sense at all, they'll break up after Joe convinces Hook to tattoo a cock on his face as revenge on Taz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The King Of Swing Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Meh I don't really care who wins the TBS Title match. Didn't expect Mercedes to go through the table. Audible fucking jobber from a fan directed at Black. Ouch. Swerve is the man and outside of that first Dynamite as champion, they've done a really good job with him. Storm got a good laugh out of me with her promo. Storm Vs. Harley was fine. Eliminator matches can get in the bin. Swerve Vs. Cage in particular didn't need the stipulation, since they already had good reason for the match. Match itself was really good. Jericho can still fuck off. Solid main event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted May 17 Paid Members Share Posted May 17 Danielson vs SATNAM SINGH booked for next week. Such a WTF match but one you absolutely know Danielson probably came up with and is desperate to do. It's going to no doubt be bloody brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Supremo Posted May 17 Paid Members Share Posted May 17 21 hours ago, Chili said: I'm so sorry everyone, but I'm liking the Jericho thing. I'd rather Big Bill be doing something else, but he's leaned into this stupid idea enough I'm finding it charming. I’m seeing more and more people saying they enjoy this new act, or proclaim Jericho has, “done it again,” and, “made it work.” I’m happy for anyone entertained by it, but I just don’t see it at all. It’s all just so desperate and tragic. Nowhere near as clever as Chris thinks it is. His reaction to the, “Please Retire,” chants on this show was particularly rubbish. That was the best you could come up, Chris? Reminded me of when David Brent gets that second drink thrown over him. “I was already wet, so joke’s on her.” Also, if Jericho must steal everyone’s homework, the least he could do is not make it so fucking obvious. Watching him do The Young Buck’s insincere babyface crowd work literally minutes after they did it was super jarring. At least when he and Sammy were doing their knock off version of MJF and Adam Cole they weren’t doing it in the same quarter hour. Bryan Danielson vs Satnam is amazing match making. Not only is it a fever dream match that’ll end up being shockingly great, but it gets us one step closer to the ultimate dream match of Bryan Danielson vs. Jeff Jarrett. Have they ever wrestled? Or only in my wildest dreams? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted May 17 Paid Members Share Posted May 17 Danielson vs Satnav? I bet Bryan will find the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merzbow Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 But can it top the classic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted May 17 Paid Members Share Posted May 17 (edited) 1 hour ago, Supremo said: I’m seeing more and more people saying they enjoy this new act, or proclaim Jericho has, “done it again,” and, “made it work.” I’m happy for anyone entertained by it, but I just don’t see it at all. It’s all just so desperate and tragic. Nowhere near as clever as Chris thinks it is. I enjoyed it for about one week but yeah I'm already bored of it. The Young Bucks are already doing the fake supportive super smiley heel schtick so Jericho basically doing the exact same thing (but not as good) on the same show is utterly deranged. I think fundamentally as a wrestling booker before starting any story you need to ask two fundamental questions: 1) what matches could this story lead to? and 2) does anyone actually want to see any of those matches? Tony Khan needs to ask himself these whenever Jericho pitches him a new idea going forwards. Edited May 17 by LaGoosh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chili Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 (edited) Danielson Vs Satnam Singh is a bat shit mad match to put together, but I'm going to fascinated to see how good it'll end up (because I genuinely think it will) and regardless of it's a minor miracle, the subsequent whinging that it was Satnam and not super worker on the roster #25. I can't wait for that, proper odd looking match. Unfortunately there's one issue... WHuRes THuR sT0ry!!?!! Edited May 17 by Chili Free the Weatherfield one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted May 17 Paid Members Share Posted May 17 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Chili said: Unfortunately there's one issue... WHuRes THuR sT0ry!!?!! Ha! Reminded me that I saw a really depressing poll on Twitterthis week from a wrestling account that was "what do you prefer - story telling or matches?" and the replies were filled with fans saying they preferred "story telling" to "good matches". THE MATCHES ARE THE STORY YOU DIMWITS! Edited May 17 by LaGoosh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.