Public Performance

[Kaz Hayashi]

This was inspired by a wrestling show with 6 customers. I’ll leave it at that.

Have you ever performed in public or hosted promoted an event? Anything from a talk, seminar, music gig, Street theatre, dogging, stand up comedy, etc. I know some of you have and have mentioned 1 or 2 anecdotes in the past.

How was it?

How often?

Best and Worst experience?

If you haven’t, do you want to perform in public or does the thought of it make your stomach fall through your socks?

I was in a touring Funk/Rock/Hip Hop group for around 8-9 years. We performed throughout the U.K. and within the same weekend we managed to perform in front of our biggest and smalllest crowd (not counting festivals etc). On the Friday night we supported De La Soul in front of 1600 people. On the Saturday night we performed in front of 7 people. It smacked what ever ego had arisen from the previous night but was also the start of the end for the band unfortunately.

Prior to starting that group, I never ever dreamt of performing live, at least visibly. I’d DJ’ed for a few years but you can easily hide in that circumstance. The thought of being on a stage scared the shit out of me. No matter how many times we performed, I always had a nervous energy. These days I deliver training etc and I still get nervous... what happens if the tech fails? What happens if I’m asked a question, can’t answer and I’m rumbled as a shite Hawk? What happens if the sandwich I had 10 mins beforehand decides it doesn’t like being inside of my gut?

 

[HarmonicGenerator]

It's always been something I've been comfortable with - from doing am-dram since I was about 7, to the monthly improv shows I'm part of in Newcastle, to a large part of my job which involves public speaking with an element of performance - I'm quite happy in any scenario like that.

Had loads of good experiences with it - it's not necessarily to do with numbers, but selling out a venue is always great. I'm just as happy with a small crowd as long as they're reacting - means they're enjoying it. I'm not doing anything for the cash (especially at work, since I'm getting paid whatever!) so knowing people are enjoying things is the main bit. If it's a good audience, I'd obviously rather have 100 in than 6, but we did a few shows closer to that latter number at the Fringe this year, and they were great. We were able to get the audience really involved, and basically turned it into a exclusive show for them. There may have only been one or two families in, but they had an awesome time. Same at work - it's amazing 'performing' for a big crowd, but you can deliver a different kind of experience if there's a few people. Different, but if you get into it, just as good. Job done.

(Kaz - the WrestleMania-themed show of mine you came to was our smallest of the year audience-wise but it's probably one of my favourites because while there weren't many in, everybody was really into it. Also the only time we've got a "holy shit" chant during a show!)

Worst was between a Rugby Club Christmas do we were booked for - the thought of it still just makes me want to hide underneath a table until it goes away, it was brutal - or appearing in an Alan Ayckbourn play with my ex. She wasn't my ex at the time, but she'd been cheating on me with another member of the cast. And was doing so in the rehearsals I'd missed when I went to my grandad's funeral in the Midlands. And during the performances when I was having to sleep between my scenes because I had swine flu. And at the after show party once I'd gone home to bed. Not the best memories of that play!

The strange thing is, as comfortable as I am with all of the above, if another act asked me to come up on stage as a 'volunteer' or I got picked on... I'd freeze. I'd lose all my confidence and have no idea what to do. Don't know why that is...

[BomberPat]

Done all sorts of odds and sods. DJ'd for the better part of ten years, played in a handful of bands, in my (even more) pretentious younger days did a couple of poetry readings, tried stand-up twice, and have been refereeing wrestling (and having the odd match myself) for the past five years.

I've DJ'd to empty rooms, or to two or three people, so it's hard to pick any of those as the single worst experience. At least in those instances I just start indulging myself and playing whatever I like. I used to have a regular gig at a rock/metal night, which I was offered when I was promoting events myself and doing reasonably well out of it, and took because it was a paying gig (which were few and far between at the time), and busy enough that I was guaranteed to make anywhere between £75 and £150 for two hours' work. Due to the promoter being an utter cretin (stopped printing posters and flyers because they "didn't make a difference", but didn't make up for the lack of advertising with an increased social media presence or anything like that - just had a Facebook group with some of the regulars in it, and would post in there the day before the event saying it was happening), by the time I finished up there I was lucky if I made enough money to cover my taxi home. So almost all of my worst experiences are of that - giving up my evening to play to a near enough empty room, leaving at 2am out of pocket, and usually having work first thing in the morning as well.

 

Most of the best live experiences have been from the wrestling. We're lucky that we have an extremely responsive, extremely forgiving crowd - we can basically give them any old shit and they'll eat it up, so the fact that we're not exactly a well oiled machine doesn't play into it all that much. We've never drawn a crowd of fewer than 75, and regularly draw in excess of 200, and this year worked a music festival and had at least 2000 sets of eyes on us, which definitely has to be up there as one of the best experiences I've had as a performer, to see that amount of work pay off in such a big way. Generally, it's just hugely rewarding seeing the company go from a handful of mates that have spent years dicking around pretending to be wrestlers to actually being in the position to book half-decent shows, with wrestlers we grew up watching on TV - while the whole weekend of working with him wasn't entirely a positive experience, there was a really "fucking hell, this is actually happening" feeling when I was stood in the ring with Tatanka for the first time. Similarly, having been a CHIKARA fan for many years, getting to work with a few of their guys was always a thrill.

 

I don't get that nervous any more - playing in bands, and doing the wrestling early on, scared the shit out of me. But, with wrestling especially, I started to learn early on that if anything goes wrong, there's fuck all you can do about it, you just need to get on with it, and weirdly that lifted a lot of the stress. Just realising that whatever's going to happen will happen. These days, I don't get all that nervous about performing - weirdly I'm more likely to be nervous about a smaller crowd than a bigger one, though. A big crowd is just a wall of noise, if it's a small crowd you can make out individual voices and faces, and I always feel a bit of a prick playing to them, as if everyone in the room recognises how stupid the whole situation is.

Similarly, when I had my first match as a wrestler, it was a really stupid comedy match - at first, I was terrified of fucking it up, but then it dawned on me that the worst that could happen (short of getting hurt, which is what it is), and what I'd always been scared of when performing before, was that people would think I was awful and laugh at me. But, in the context of the match, that was the entire point, I was supposed to be rubbish, and it was supposed to be ridiculous. Even then, I felt far more absurd doing a smiley babyface entrance than I did wrestling the actual match - that whole routine sucked.

 

Working in wrestling has been the most rewarding performance, too - a lot of that is to do with our audience being kids, and almost completely without cynicism. Seeing them go mental for what we do, and swarm everybody asking for autographs, is the absolute best. In everything else I'd done, I almost felt a bit combative with the audience, especially if I was having a bad night - I'd be DJing and put on a weird track, almost like "fuck you, just try and enjoy this", rather than letting the audience shape what I was doing. But with wrestling, absolutely everything is filtered through that lens of making sure the punters have a great time, and it's a very rare thing for me to come out of a show in a bad mood now.

Only really negative experiences of wrestling were early on, when still finding our feet, figuring out what worked and what didn't. If I went back and watched those first few shows now, I'd probably cringe myself to death. Had our own Rugby Club do experience on our second or third show, when there was a big rugby contingent in the hotel we were running out of - all pissed up, heckling, swearing, shouting obvious, crude gay jokes and everything, to the point that families were leaving, and everyone who did stick around didn't feel comfortable raising their voice or getting into the show at all. It was fucking painful.

Beyond that, there have been people who have been difficult to work with in a sense, but never in such a way as to make the performance unenjoyable. We had Drew Gulak for a couple of shows last year, and I love the guy, but refereeing his matches, he was giving me shit the entire time, calling me out on everything I was doing wrong, and what I wasn't doing, and I just couldn't wait for his match to be over. I thanked him for it afterwards - it was all stuff I absolutely needed to hear, and all very useful, and I get that he was actively focused on forcing me to up my game, and get a bit outside of my comfort zone, but fucking hell did it suck at the time.

[HarmonicGenerator]

That sounds very similar to our Rugby Club do experience, Pat - the stuff that was being shouted at us was appalling, and to our female performers especially. The people hoping that all these celeb sexual harassment allegations are going to lead to a sea change in the culture have never been to a Rugby Club do. The female Club members were just as bad, too, so it wasn't as if it was 'just' the men... They can pay us whatever they like but I'm not doing one of those gigs again!

[Scott Malbranque]

Well, well I was 15 the band I was in won a contest in Ireland to perform in the UK in the Clapham Grand on a show called the Panasonic Soundblast Awards which was hosted by Jools Holland and had Stuart Zender, Mike Scott, Leigh Marklew, Bob Geldof and Dire Straits’ manager as judges and we wound up getting absolutely annihilated with Terrorvision and some of Jamiroquai at the after party which had a free bar. It was such, such a great time in my life.
I was quite an obnoxious, cocky little shitehead back then and truly believed I was a young Mike Patton, so it didn’t really faze me as I was convinced this was my first step to superstardom, and like Yash there, our ego was brought back to earth with a thump when our next gig was in a little poxhole called Slatterys in Dublin, and in front of about 6 mates and a bunch of English chaps on a Stags who all looked like Alexei Sayle and kept asking us to play songs by C&C Music Factory.

 

When I started DJing – and even still to this day - I would absolutely shite myself before and during gigs, as you’re essentially responsible for making people smile, strangers hug and putting their jaws out to Calais. If you mess that up and play the wrong song or pox up your beat matching and the vinyl starts that machine gun sound, you spend the rest of the set doing jazz hands with your pots gone and people looking at you angrily from the dance floor to turn it around. Doesn’t matter if you play songs they love, but following that one moment that you messed up you’ve been found out and you’ve ruined a lot of peoples moments, essentially and it's so, so hard to boomerang the situation.

I really messed up in a place called Spirit (now The Academy) in Dublin. It was my first gig there and it was a funky house night (which I hate) so I played the funky “hen party” house stuff and then decided to do a transition into heavier stuff.

I know this means fuck all to anyone – except maybe Brewster who also seems to like a bit of this sort of carry on – but there’s a song by Avant Garde called Get Down. I had that going and the place was bopping away, and then I ran a cheesy funky shit house track like that into a trance song called Cherry Blossom and I emptied the floor...then I tried to pull it back by playing Adagio for Strings as I thought if I give them a harder song they’d recognise they might come around, but the boos started to hammer up at me and then Spirits floor manager had a serious pop at me and I was absolutely sweating at this stage telling everyone in close quarters to go fuck themselves in a childish temper as I shut the decks down out of spite and started up Donna Summers ‘I Feel Love’ while storming off and out in a huff.

I got down the stairs and realised I had to go back up, pack my records away, get my needles and coat and shuttle back down the stairs as everyone was sniggering away at my failure and tantrum.

Now I’d like to think I know how to size up the crowd and I always listen to other DJs who are on the bill’s Mixclouds etc just to see what they usually play. I’ve been asked to do one of the afterparties following Carl Cox’s gig in Westmeath in next August with a couple others, so that’ll be nice...but that means I have to remain sober from 3pm to probably 2am, and that’s going to difficult given the circumstances and surroundings.

[Kaz Hayashi]

As you mentioned Pat, fucking it is to be expected. I think having a mare on stage eats you up for a bit, but it does help you to say “fuck it” and eventually helps you to overcome the idea of messing up.

The worst one I had was at a festival. It was pissing down and we were on a main outdoor stage, the crowd decided it would be best to take cover in the adjacent large circus tents, so although they were technically watching us, they were around 60 yards away. On top of that, we were broadcasting live over the BBC, water got on to the sound desk, the PA blew up and this was during our first song. So we tried to play the rest of the set acoustically... 60 yards away from the crowd, over the radio, after 20 seconds of us clearly being too quiet, they cut us off the broadcast.

..Which was nice.

[Carbomb]

I used to be an actor, so got used to it that way. Since then, I've been a wrestling manager and an MC; the biggest shows I ever did were the NOAH European Navigation back in 2008, and very recently, I did my first bit of MCing for the first time in ten years in the summer, doing the WCPW World Cup for the Japanese leg. Both times, I was bricking it, as I'd never performed in front of any crowds that big before. I also sing a fair bit on the London circuit, so my nervousness in front of crowds really depends on the size of them; singing in bars and pubs, it's not really a problem.

[cobra_gordo]

 I've always loved performing live, probably started with doing drama at school. I was that obnoxious twat when I was 9 or 10 that was in all the school plays and it got to the point a scout asked the school to provide a couple of kids to audition for an upcoming film. I got down to the last five for that one after doing a screen test with the main character who was the dad of the character I was auditioning to play. The film turned out to be The Full Monty. I didn't get the part. Carried on doing drama in to my A levels but haven't done any acting since.

I've been playing guitar for coming up to 20 years and have been in bands of various sizes and success since I was 15 or 16. I've played to rooms with 5 people in them because I'd stupidly booked the gig for Easter Monday without realising no fucker would turn up, to sold out shows in our home town that were utter chaos. There's nothing quote like the feeling of a packed room digging everything you're doing and earwigging folks saying "They were good" or "That pit was brutal!".

My first band ended up gong for 5 or 6 years and we played at least once a week most weeks of the year. That's probably the favourite band I've been in, four lads, playing fairly horrible metal but having a laugh and making friends with other bands from round the country. It fell at a time when I was making my own money so I spunked it all on guitar gear including a wireless system. We had a fairly close knit scene in Rotherham at the time and I was one of the only ones with wireless so it gave us the chance to stand out a bit with me being able to run in to the crowd or stand on the bar whilst playing. It did lead to me falling off two stages and mistiming a jump off of one where I landed and hit a patch of water or lager and slipped on my arse, landed on my back and looked a right twat in the process.

I've finally got another band together now after 9 years out of the game. We've been rehearsing and writing for over a year now and I've got the itch to play live again. It's just that bit more difficult now with kids and an actual proper job to contend with.

[Boycie]

I've grown to enjoy performing in public. I've done it quite a few times now, doing my Kunt and the Gang tribute act (if you're not familiar with Kunt and the Gang, look him up on YouTube, though not if you're using a computer at work). I started off doing local open mic nights, where I usually got a very mixed response. I've now done a few gigs in pubs in my hometown of Ipswich, which have all gone really well. I feel a lot more confident performing in front of a crowd now and also that I've improved as a performer. In the new year I'll possibly be doing some gigs outside Ipswich for the first time,which I'm quite excited about. 

 

[PunkStep]

Always loved performing- whether it's to people I know or the public. Not due to a craving for attention or anything, because I do find attention a bit hard to do with, but I just get a thrill and buzz performing in front of people.

I was in all of the school productions during secondary school and was the lead role for a couple of them. I was always as nervous as hell - no matter how many productions I appeared in - but I guess that's part of the thrill. A bit like when Tazz once said 'as soon as I stopped feeling those butterflies, I had to pack in wrestling'. It was never an overbearing anxiety, but just a giddy nervousness I suppose. I had ambitions of being an actor but after flunking my A-Levels (which I agreed with my mum to take as a 'back up' in case acting went to shit) I ended up getting a job instead. My highlight during this period included performing as an extra (acting, not dancing) during a European Ballet Company production in Herford.

Also took part in talent shows at school- mimed through a Guns N Roses set with my friends during a talent contest in year 6 and sang & dance as part of a Backstreet Boys tribute in year 9. My only entry into holiday camp talent shows ended in misery as my cousin and I sang 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred in 1993 and I spent the entire time reading the lyrics scrawled on my arm

Fed my appetite of performing in front of people during my 20s by wrestling regularly. Largest crowd was around 1,000 people in Margate. Fucking loved performing in front of a crowd and interacting with them, especially as a heel and winding them up. Such a buzz. These days I suppose the closest I get is holding training sessions at work for around 20 at a time. Not the same!

[Slapnut]

I've done a fair bit. I went to drama school so getting up on stage is a walk in the park for me (whether or not it's a walk in the park for the audience is another matter).

I've been in numerous bands since I was a youngster and actually managed to support Bullet for my Valentine at aged 12 a few weeks before they released their first EP and blew up, which was pretty cool looking back.

I did a stand up comedy course almost 5 years ago and did a few open mic nights. My first one was at Up The Creek which was organised by the course leader as a bit of a "new act" night and it was brilliant. About 100 people there in total and the atmosphere was buzzing. I'm going to shamelessly plug the video actually.

I think my absolute least favourite thing to do was Shakespeare. Couldn't stand it at uni. Didn't understand the language, struggled to learn my lines, and felt like a loner because everybody else loved it and I just couldn't understand why. We did a monologue presentation in front of all the other year groups once, and I completely forgot my lines and wanted to curl up and die. Horrible experience.

However, my absolute favourite thing I did was my final uni module, essentially my dissertation piece, which was a self directed piece of absolutely whatever I wanted to do. I essentially ripped off Man on the Moon and did an Andy Kaufman piece. At this point I didn't give a fuck about pissing tutors off or what grades I got, so I ended up going double the time I was supposed to go. Absolutely loved every bit of it. I'm going to shamelessly plug the video of that too.

I haven't been on stage in a long time and it depresses me.

[PunkStep]

@Scott Malbranque Being a  club DJ has always fascinated me and I've often thought that the fundamentals of putting a good set together are quite similar to putting a good wrestling match together- the psychology behind it all etc. With both you want to make an impression early on, but keep them into it. Stick in some tracks or use some holds that are verging on 'filler' (progressive probably a better term) so that you're not hitting a barrage of monster tunes/high spots to burn them out early. In sets and matches you want to bring them up, then down a little and up for a big finish. And of course- feed off of the crowd. Being able to adapt on the spot is crucial in both industries.

And a club night can be similar to a wrestling card. You mentioned you have a look to see what the other DJs on the bill are playing, much like wrestlers will have an idea what matches to expect from others on the card. Making sure you don't use the same finishers/big tunes etc.

That experience you had sounds brutal man, I've seen that happen before. As you say once you lose them- it's nigh impossible to get them back. My mate was DJing at a 40th birthday party years ago and asked me to help out. When it came to turntabalism- he was on it. His beat matching was excellent and he could put together a tidy little trance set. But this was his 40 year old aunt's birthday- so I suggested he opts for cheese rather than club music (despite him insisting that his aunt loved trance music- doesn't matter, look at the rest of the crowd!). He was on the decks as I can't mix for shit, but I was suggesting which tunes to drop in to help him out and the floor was gradually filling up. He then said he wanted to drop in Thrillseekers or something- and he cleared the floor. I told him to stick on Ooops Upside Your Head to bring them back and it worked- he then threw on something by Tiesto to send them all back to the bar. Couldn't tell him otherwise.

[Keith Houchen]

Punky, I'm having flashbacks of Dj Kris trying to explain how a cheese DJ is as skilled as a mixer.

[PunkStep]

With his 'Sex, Drugs and Sausage Rolls' t-shirt.

[SpursRiot2012]

I did quite a lot of stand up for a while a couple years back. Although I haven't done any spots in a while, though I do intend to get back to it. 

My best and worst experience occurred at the same venue on different occasions. The best was just when I did a great spot, had a room full of fairly drunk people (who are often the worst people to perform in front of) laughing at every bit and actually had some random member of the audience come up to me after the show and ask for an autograph  (I was an open micer, that's not something that happens to open micers.)

The worst was at the same venue a different time. I'd invited a load of my mates to come, so they had me drinking before my spot which for me is usually a big no no before going up. I went up, forgot half my bits, had what felt like full minutes of actual silence, only one person laughing (a loud, drunk women which is like the standard sign you're having a bad set) and went way over my time. Horrible.