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The Official UKFF RAW Thread...


d-d-d-dAz

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What this show really needed was one of those awesome video packages, detailing the entire Ambrose vs. Rollins feud from beginning to end. Something similar to the Cena vs. Wyatt "Legacy" promo video.

Both Ambrose vs Rollins and Cena vs Orton should have had these video packages. Between the Shield stuff and the "class of 2002" stuff, there's so much footage that could be mined in a couple of music vids. It seems like nobody involved in the two top matches really cares about them, but a montage with a fitting song could help make me care about them.

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Has Orton vs. Lesnar been done before? I can't remember it anyway.

 

Apparently so:

 

But that was ages ago and WWE have forgotten anything Brock did pre-2012 anyway.

Edited by PunkStep
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About time. Until then, they'd hardly mentioned a thing had they? Weird, because the old footage wouldn't do him a disservice at all, considering it's pretty much 2 years of him beating the shit out of everyone. The visual of him wiping Hogan's blood across his chest is fantastic.

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About time. Until then, they'd hardly mentioned a thing had they? Weird, because the old footage wouldn't do him a disservice at all, considering it's pretty much 2 years of him beating the shit out of everyone. The visual of him wiping Hogan's blood across his chest is fantastic.

I dunno if it's the reason but that old footage makes it look like Brock's aged 45 years in the last decade.

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The Authority are suit-wearing men. I don't trust suit-wearing men, outside of weddings, funerals, and job interviews, anyway. The suits, then, are A GOOD THING because it means I don't trust them, and I'm sure the rest of the WWE's audience are as casual/feckless as I am.

The cell is hanging above the ring. I always worry it's going to fall. Call me Chicken Linus.

HHH does talky talky about about Hell In A Cell changes a man. Well, sometimes. That's me saying that, not him. Now Kennel From Hell, THAT changes a man. I do worry about having a dedicated PPV for Hell In A Cell matches. But you could at least time your booking to make it coincide with at least one feud where the heel keeps running away or the face is getting gang-banged. Yeah, I said it.

Orton versus Cena in the Cell, which is headlining I guess because they don't trust Ambrose & Rollins to take the show home when neither has done it before, is now a #1 contender's match. I'd forgotten there was a title. Is the champion that guy who never does TV, like Hogan in the early 90s? Is Lesnar filming Suburban Commando?

Orton said some stuff, getting extremely cheap heat from a mostly dead crowd, and so did Rollins, but only dogs heard his high-pitched whine. He did, however, have his tiny gold suitcase with him.

HHH said he was proud of his Authority boys, even Kane, which must have been a hard line to get right. Then Kane ended the segment by making his pyros go off, for absolutely no reason. Bless.

Oh, FFS, will these feuds never end! It's Sheamus & the Usos AGAIN versus Miz & the Dust Brothers AGAIN. Sheamus and the Usos do NOTHING for me. So vanilla. At least the Dust Brothers have something - Dustin's got that old school vibe at times, and Cody's a good hand. His Frank Gorshin Riddler is great.

Oh, we're getting something different: Miz is giving Mizdow his slot. This is A GOOD THING. Mizdow is so over right now. Give him the world title.

Ehh, there was a match, and Mizdow won with a schoolboy and there was COMEDY as Miz screamed "I won, I won!", and then both he & Mizdow said it in unison, with a slight look of puzzlement on Mizdow's face. GOLD.

Backstage, HHH stirred it with Randy, the big stirrer. Randy is not happy with Rollins. I imagine it's because he's always wet when he comes through the curtain.

Women. You know what? It was a bad match. Not a terrible match, or a shit match, just a bad match. This is progress. AJ lost to Alicia Fox, days before a title match. Booking. AJ has a terrible Thesz Press. Paige and Alicia seemed to lez a bit after the match before realising what they were doing. PG!

Randy told Rollins he wasn't happy with him. Seth hugged his tiny gold suitcase.

Randy came down to the ring and they were low to mixed about him. So he got cheap heat again and ramped it up. Cena came out and they talky talky'd. Good stuff. Then Paul Heyman came out because they were talking about Brock Lesnar, who apparently is champion? He did good talky talky, too. Then Cena went to give Heyman the AA but didn't. Orton, though, RKO'd him. And then RKO'd Cena. OUT OF NOWHERE. A good segment.

Hey, it's Rusev! He's going to fight Big E. Who's he? He's a former Intercontinental Champion, apparently. Has anyone NOT held that belt? He's a big fat lad who gets too much heat on Rusev for anyone's good here. Rusev wins with the Accolade, though.

Lana & Rusev waited for the flag to come down but it didn't. Cue Big Show, in what looked like the lady's loo, giggling like a child, and the AMERICAN FLAGG came down instead! Oh, how naughty! Rusev was not happy. He went to tear it down - you know, like the babyface did the other week to his flag - and Steve Blackman 2K14 in army fatigues hit the ring in protest. Well, I say hit the ring, he fucked up the slide under the bottom rope (which I used to have nightmares about when I wrestled, and never did try in the ring). Rusev kicked him in the face and soldier boy went down. HOW DISGRACEFUL.

After a commercial break, Big Show came out and was DISTRAUGHT. He could barely get his words out through his tears, the poor sod. He vowed REVENGE on Rusev because he was American and he was a Giant (Big John Studd said, "I am the one true champion giant" and Andre the Giant said, "I am the giant").

He called Rusev out and Rusev did not come out. He went looking for Rusev and found his sparse dressing room. Rusev was not there. THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE!

Backstage, Ambrose is doing "research" for his match with Kane & the others. He is watching "See No Evil 2". Thank God he's not fighting Chyna. He told Cena that they were like superheroes. Cena was Superman and he was Batman. Cena said he was more like the Joker., who is dead I think? Ambrose did a funny.

Brie Bella fought Summer Rae because God knows we've not suffered enough. Nikki Bella watched on a backstage monitor. Brie won with a sloppy X-factor. At least it wasn't another schoolboy. Dreadful.

Dean Ambrose came to the ring because that's what we're doing tonight. He pulled out a dummy dressed as Rollins, which had as much charisma, to be fair. I love Ambrose. He's the reason I came back to this stuff. But this was TERRIBLE. Really bad.

Rollins came out, and did some generic heel stuff, which was all that seemed to work in front of a dead crowd. Even that didn't really work, because he's just a man with a small head in a suit, carrying a tiny gold suitcase.

They talked about how they were both ready and then FOLEY'S music hit, and down came an old man who looked like Mick Foley. He sounded like Mick Foley, too, but I refuse to believe that it was him, because he looked like he was hurting so bad. Maybe that was the point because he hyped how the Hell In A Cell is so dangerous. Seriously good promo, only slightly ruined by the nagging feeling that his beard looked stuck on.

Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler were in the ring when we came back from the break. Eh, who needs ring entrances? Dolph Ziggler is like Dr D David Schults, but without the throttling a talk show host.

They do that thing where a run of the mill TV match, not even for the title, takes so much out of both men that they're floudering on the mat at one point. I hate that. Cesaro wins with an uppercut, and then does ANOTHER FINISHER after the bell. Sucks to be Ziggler - that's four finishers in the last week. That'll learn yer to lose yer belt.

HHH made Kane the Ring General for tonight's main event. You suck, HHH!

Okay, this was a street fight, anything goes, 2 on 3 main event. Except that, for a street fight, they kept to the regular tag rules quite a lot. *shrug*

They got some tables and chairs out and stuff happened. Then, while the faces were vulnerable, the dastardly heels called for the cell to be lowered. Luckily, a camerman was inside at the time so the viewer at home got an unhindered view of the action! (I joke, but it was only the one cameraman, so some of the shots were from outside the cell. May have been deliberate, but I found it funny).

They went about 20 minutes and Orton won for his team with an RKO out of Ambrose's rope rebound. Then Rollins, the sneaky bitch (and that's what he is - a sneaky bitch heel), kerb stomped HIS OWN TEAMMATE.

Rollins then climbed on top of the cell to the meh of the dead crowd. A decent show.

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I genuinely despair for the moment Rusev gets pinned. May he CRUSH for a long time yet.

 

Edit: Assuming he doesn't get fed to Cena/Reigns in a few months, does anyone else think Rusev vs Lesnar could be a great match?

How long is Ryback out for? I've just realised that beating Rusev would be a perfect comeback for him.

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