Facebook updates that blow your mind

[Carbomb]

I do online petitions, but only for 38 Degrees and Avaaz, and that's largely because they understand that petitions are only one small part of the process. For them, petitions are predominantly a sounding board and a means of firing a warning shot at the entities dealing with the issues under discussion. They tend to progress further by raising funds for advertising to raise awareness, for taking legal action (such as when 38 Degrees challenged Jeremy Hunt in court when he tried to shut down Lewisham A&E), or for hiring experts to help them directly lobby or provide consultancy on alternative legislation.

[Jon-Carr_92]

Lately, a few people I know have since had kids, but what I can't stand, is people who constantly post photos of their kids. It's nice to have a few up, don't get me wrong. But there comes a point where it's like they have to post every one they take. I certainly wouldn't want to turn it into a diary of them growing up. I can imagine the day they start using it and some parents tagging them in all those photos for embarrassment.

 

Another thing is, do you ever categorise friends. Two examples are the ones you want to delete, but can't be bothered to (I'm sure we go a few) and the one from school or college or work whom you don't really talk to, but they friended you and you accepted any way and vice versa.

[Surf Digby]

What's worse is when 90% of their posts are about their kids toilet habits. The world doesn't need to know!

[Mr_Danger]

I don't mind the kids thing, I can honestly say I've never looked through one persons kids photo album on Facebook and them sticking all that shite on there is easily scrolled past. I can even see the point if they want to use it as an online photo album that will outlive all their phones and other storage devices.

[Jon-Carr_92]

I can even see the point if they want to use it as an online photo album that will outlive all their phones and other storage devices.

Yeah, true I guess. Now you mention it.

[Surf Digby]

I've nothing against people putting photo's and statuses about their kids. First day at school, on the teacups ride, look who got more round their mouth than in it, etc.. The usual stuff.

 

Daily updates about whether or not they wet the bed or not just strikes me as a bit weird.

[CoreyVandal]

Got a bit of a weird one here and thought this would be the best place to post about it.

 

A guy who I thought was dead just turned up on facebook.

 

He was someone I was friends with back in school but lost touch with as you do, then a few years back a girl from my old class told me he'd died. This was in a conversation where she'd informed me of another couple of deaths from our school that I was actually aware of, so I just took her information at face value. It's not as if his death hit me hard or anything, but I did sort of mourn him in that weird way that you do with people you haven't seen since your childhood.

 

Then last month he sent me a friend request.

 

At first I thought maybe it was a fake account, or a sick joke by the sort of dickheads I went to school with. There were posts about "thought I'd finally give facebook a try, what do I do now lol" which always seems weird to me, because who hasn't been all over facebook for years? But he uploaded a bunch of recent photos, and had conversations on there with mutual friends about recent nights out ect. so it really did seem to be him.

 

So I sent him a message asking how he'd been. THIS is where it gets a little....off. He told me he'd been in a coma for the past 8 years after a drug overdose, and he was now trying to reconnect with everyone from the old days. It was really hard to understand him since his spelling and grammar were all over the place, and he seemed very angry, and needlessly racist, but I tried my best to gave him the benefit of the doubt incase he was a little brain damaged after going though something like that. Despite what he'd said about the overdose he was still bragging about 'mental nights out', and seemed very much into his chemicals. It was all very weird, but said he was going out for a drink so we said our goodbyes and that was that.

 

Later that night he started posting drunken rants as statuses every few minutes, which I had to check out, because who doesn't love a good online trainwreck. It was a real struggle to get the gist of it, but he seemed to be really angry about black people being allowed in the police force. He claimed this was because they were engaging in a conspiracy to control peoples thoughts though mobile phones and replace all the white people with black people. He then started posting about how they'd put him in prison for several years when he tried to let the world know the truth, where they tried to wipe his brain via "a needle in the eye".

 

Just a seemingly endless stream of ramble, incoherent, absolute batshit insane nonsense that makes me wonder where he's actually been for the past few years. In prison? An institution? Or was he actually in a coma and now he's just a bit special? He certainly didn't seem like this at school, but maybe thinking he was dead for the past few years meant I painted a slightly different picture of him in my mind? Like I say, it's a bit of a weird one. These rants ended with something that sounded like he was going to chuck his mobile so they couldn't track him any more, and another a few hours later about having to destroy his phone so they couldn't find him again. All very bizarre.

 

​Is it wrong to say I preferred him when he was dead?

Edited September 25, 2014 by CoreyVandal

[Surf Digby]

Given that one of the lines in the video is "My son wanted to be a doctor and now he wants to be a pig", you would think that anyone with any sense would see it as a joke and nothing more.

I have absolutely no idea what to write to link your post with this bit of news, so I'll just post the link.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2770621/Couple-singing-Peppa-Pig-theme-tune-toddler-daughter-thrown-bus-passenger-accused-racist.html

[Dr Reefer]

Garry Hughes My cousin went to France v England rugby match a few years back. On his flight home was none other than Brian Blessed. He's a big England rugby fan and had been to the match, which England won by a very narrow margin and didn't play very well.

My cousin, Lee, was pretty drunk and also (less temporarily) pretty rotund. So, he was celebrating and signing on the flight home. Loudly. Annoyingly. "Swing lowwwww! Sweet charrioooooot! Coming fore to carry me hoooooomee!!!' Etc, etc. 

After 20 minutes of bellowing the same song, Mr Blessed left his seat, walked (nay galloped) the three rows to my my cousin, grabbed him by the throat and thrust his face into the drunk singist.... 

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT?" Bellowed Big Brian. Who continued... 

"We played like shit and got a lucky result. Now... Sit quietly and don't open your mouth for the rest of the flight. YOU FAT CUNT!"

Brian Blessed. Legend.

[King Coconut]

I love a celebrity who likes a good swear.

[Sergio Mendacious]

Nothing as insane as CoreyVandal's story, but a lad I knew from another wrestling forum put around rumors of his own death, including having a "family member" log into his Facebook to tell everyone that he had died. Then, his Facebook account came back to life about six months later, with no mention of any of the earlier stuff.

[Astro Hollywood]

That move should be known as The Ultimate Costanza.

[SpursRiot2012]

This doozy was posted today by my mums girlfriend:

 

[lanky316]

 

Spot the photo hastily done photoshopping

[WyattSheepMask]

Didn't even try to hide the Australian flag or tin of Vegemite

Edited September 29, 2014 by WyattSheepMask