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HG's Royal Rumble Surprise Entrant Pool 2013


HarmonicGenerator

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For my second pic, I'd like to see:

 

"3.....2...1"

 

*CLAXON*

 

"AH AH, Yeeeeeeeah....."

 

47Kidman.jpg

 

Kidman runs down, managing to hit an SSP on some randomer, then gets choke-slammed back to hell, where he came from.

 

Only to be followed by my third and final pic:

 

11.jpg

 

He comes in, spears the shite out of everybody, before Ryback eliminates him in some crazy "Ryback is better than Goldberg" / not-really-but-the-closest-we'll-be-getting-to-a-passing-of-the-torch thing.

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The Undertaker. It's likely his last year, so why not give him #30 and make some last-minute intrigue.

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richards_steven.jpg

 

Righto, first off I reckon we'll get this geezer. Perhaps even with granny-dress Ivory and big Bull in tow as the iconically irritating siren blares out of the speakers. Mouth-breathers will gnash their teeth about WWE being PG as Big Stevie Cool tells Brodus Clay's dancers to do one while Buchanan lobs the Funkasaurus and a few jobbers over the top rope, clearing the ring. As the countdown reaches 0, and with the fans waiting for someone to end the carnage the siren hits again and we get...

 

tumblr_mdigf6KRle1rg89a6o1_500.jpg

 

The crowd's spirits are crushed, until suddenly the music stops, we are instructed to get aboard the Ho Train and Charles Wright drops his duds to reveal...

 

the-godfather1.jpg

 

The Godfather lays out Mr Richards, runs roughshod over Buchanan, whips Ivory's top off, Lawler goes mental over puppies and all is right with the world. Then Wade Barrett comes out and Bullhammers the fuck out of him, and normal service resumes.

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I would LOVE RTC to return. One of my favourite things about 2000/2001 WWF. I imagine they'd find a kindred spirit in Damien Sandow.

 

Anyway, I'm going to make my third pick now. Out to reclaim his once-coveted title of Rumble marathon man...

 

rick-martel.jpg

 

RICK MARTEL.

 

It is revealed on commentary that he paid off Cody Rhodes (who, still being slightly dashing with his moustache, has affinity with the Model) to acquire the #1 spot, so he can last as long as possible in the match. But it doesn't work out, because at #2 is the other classic marathon man...

 

tumblr_lzdbq70jy11qcu9y8o1_400.jpg

 

GREG VALENTINE.

 

Valentine chucks out Martel, the crowd unfortunately don't remember either of them and thus don't give much of a toss, then Heath Slater comes out at #3 to start proceedings properly, eliminates the former member of Rhythm n' Blues, and the Three Man Band rock out until Kane or Sheamus or someone turns up at #4 and annihilates the lot of them for a sustained period of time, much to the crowd's approval.

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RTC were absolutely brilliant. I HATED them as a kid and I think the majority of the audience did too. Most of the old school reviews I've seen from around their time seem to suggest they weren't up to it in the ring and it was a naff gimmick, but as an impressionable youth they drew so much ire from me. They way they seemingly brainwashed Godfather and Val Venis and then censored "Mr.Ass" and his music were unforgivable crimes.

 

In a weird way I had a healthy respect for their in-ring outings too. They had a match on Raw where they took on The Dudleys in a tables match, and if RTC won then the Dudleys could never, ever use tables again and had to disband. I genuinely feared for Bubba and D'Von's livelihoods. Stevie was so annoying as the master puppeteer and Ivory was a total anti-diva to the hotties they had going around at the time. They played it perfectly. If they were around now to censor things it would go down an absolute treat, especially as so many people get on at WWE for the PG stuff.

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RTC were absolutely brilliant. I HATED them as a kid and I think the majority of the audience did too. Most of the old school reviews I've seen from around their time seem to suggest they weren't up to it in the ring and it was a naff gimmick, but as an impressionable youth they drew so much ire from me.

Absolutely! I can't put into words how much I hated RTC at the time- they were the biggest heels going in my eyes. Everything that a 17 year old Arch adored about that era they tried to censor! I marked hard for the Godfather too, so turning him Good was horrifying to me.

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They kept trying to censor the Hardcore title too, which annoyed me even more. And that bloody entrance music used to just pierce my ears something horrible, especially on Smackdown 2 on my TV with the dodgy speakers. I marked HARD for Godfather's 2002 Rumble return after months of him being confined to the RTC. Val Venis less so, because he came out while Austin was patrolling things.

 

This could rapidly turn into an RTC tribute thread if we're not careful.

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They don't have to be wrestling personalities do they?

 

I'd love to see this man as a surprise entrant, maybe just to batter Heath Slater or someone. He was class last time he appeared on Raw.

 

SNF06SPD1---620_1632828a.jpg

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