Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted March 21, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 21, 2012 I reckon we'd win. We've got thousands of years of experience of wiping out trees, the added problem of them being mobile would only set us back a little. Â I think people are underestimating the power of a forest. Like with slow-moving Romero zombies, you're fooled into thinking you're safe because of the speed, then suddenly you're surrounded and overwhelmed. There are hundreds of forests containing thousands of trees. Once these armies get towards population centres, if you're not prepared, you're fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 If you kill a tree, but nobody is around to see it, does it still die? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 Do you think the attack would be more frightening in Spring/Summer time or in Winter? The sillhouette of a tree with no leaves is a horror staple, but in this scenario I think the trees would be more scary if you saw other people disappearing into the foliage. Then again, in Autumn your horse chestnut trees would be equipped with some pretty horrible projectiles. In fact, I hadn't considered the potential ranged assault from fruit-bearing trees until just now. Â I imagine squirrels, birds and their nests getting launched into buildings would be one of the first signs of the uprising. Â Also can we call it The Arbogeddon? I'd like to call it the Arbogeddon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 Zombified trees will be very hard to report in a newspaper that will attack the person that reads it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members martyngnr Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'll be raiding the Garden Centre/B&Q for a shitload of this  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted March 21, 2012 Awards Moderator Share Posted March 21, 2012 Shakespeare saw it coming:  MESSENGER As I did stand my watch upon the hill,  I looked toward Birnam, and anon methought  The wood began to move.   MACBETH Liar and slave!   MESSENGER Let me endure your wrath, if Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rule One Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Chainsaws and Fire are definately not the answer/solution. How many of us have used a chainsaw day in, day out? They aren't that durable and you just can't swing them about, in this respect, they are useless and the trees will have you easily. Â Fire isn't even worth discussing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 Â There can be only one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 This definitely needs further explanation. How badly does a tree need to be damaged to be considered dead? Cutting one of those badass giant Redwoods into little pieces would be pretty much impossible in a battle situation.  Haven't you seen The Sorcerer's Apprentice?  The biggest problem in the cities would be fires. Sure, they'd go up like fuckers, but so would houses. Awkward one. Our biggest, and easiest to find, weapon would likely involve widespread destruction.  I was originally thinking we'd be okay, based on the facts that triffids needed us blind, and they had weapons. But the sheer number of trees would be tough to overcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2012 NASA estimated back in 2005 that there are around 400 billion trees on the planet, so we're outnumbered by about 65 to 1 before you even factor in things like humans who are not able to fight for whatever reason. Â We're fucked, basically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted March 21, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 21, 2012 You say humans that can't fight - but a lot of trees would be shite too. I'm looking at this little sapling out of the window right now and it would pose absolutely no threat whatsoever. It couldn't do any damage. Â That said, a further look around, and knowledge of my route home, tells me I definitely wouldn't get out of Dorking alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'll be raiding the Garden Centre/B&Q for a shitload of this  For that to work it has to be directly placed on a shrub or in the case of a tree drilll hole into it then placed inside. Let the yanks go crazy with agent orange, you know they're bound to have vats of the stuff hidden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted March 21, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 21, 2012 Hell yeah! It'd be like that bit in Starship Troopers where he's riding the bug and shoots a hole in it's back and chucks the grenade in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Seven Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 So many questions! All I know is, when I was waiting for my bus this morning there was a row of trees opposite me that looked way too ominous. I wouldn't have had a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleischmark Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I have a feeling their bark would be worse than their bite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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