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If all the trees rose up against us, could we defeat them?


Mr. Seven

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Tough one. This needs a lot of thought.

 

First impressions are that anyone who lives in the countryside is getting fucked, and fast. They'll be a bottleneck when the most heavily massed groups of trees hit the cities, giving people a chance to ready the tripwires and flamethrowers. Although by that point, the chaos of what those city dwelling trees have done will have already led to looting and madness, so I don't have much confidence in such a well formulated plan of defense.

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Tough one. This needs a lot of thought.

 

First impressions are that anyone who lives in the countryside is getting fucked, and fast. They'll be a bottleneck when the most heavily massed groups of trees hit the cities, giving people a chance to ready the tripwires and flamethrowers. Although by that point, the chaos of what those city dwelling trees have done will have already led to looting and madness, so I don't have much confidence in such a well formulated plan of defense.

 

Either way Starkey will blame the blacks.

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Realistically, South America is gone. Might as well write that entire land mass off. Suicide trees would also be problematic.

 

No stair-climbing. They can't talk either, but they can communicate through creaking. Again, they're not very tactically sound.

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Realistically, South America is gone. Might as well write that entire land mass off. Suicide trees would also be problematic.

 

No stair-climbing. They can't talk either, but they can communicate through creaking. Again, they're not very tactically sound.

 

Africa is coming out of this not to shabby then. The Amazon is going to a fucking nightmare though.

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The tree huggers will be shown no mercy I'm afraid. It'll be like that bit with the alien lovers atop the building in Independence Day.

 

How do they sustain themselves once derooted?

 

Valid question, to which there is no scientific explanation. We're dealing with woodland zombies here, essentially.

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Flamethrowers and bazookas are the best bet. Get every citizen onto the coast, onto the beaches, even in little dinghys if need be. Have the stupid branch cunts run at us and then BOOM! We'll be safe from any fire as we'll be in our lovely boats and if there is any backdraft we simply jump into the sea to cool off. We could even have napalm strikes sorted out as well. We would need to be realistic however. The people of Brazil are fucked, any land locked countries are fucked. Just be happy we live on this lovely island. The people of Birminham are also probably fucked. We need to rely on places like Ayrshire and Cornwall.

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The tree huggers will be shown no mercy I'm afraid. It'll be like that bit with the alien lovers atop the building in Independence Day.

 

How do they sustain themselves once derooted?

 

Valid question, to which there is no scientific explanation. We're dealing with woodland zombies here, essentially.

 

So decomposition/self sustained damage to the point of one being unable to move is invalid?

 

If you think about the implications then it's a very tough scenario. We need wood so we couldn't outright blast them to smithereens or burn them to the ground.

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