Post Of The Year 2011 Nominations

[JV John Vollman]

You know what the best part of that post is?

 

"Didn't fancy washing some plates."

 

 

This.

For some reason, actually the reason was, I saw the low points thread and decided to read through it all. I was up really late last night, and at around 6am I saw this and had to physically restrain myself was laughing too hard and waking everyone else in the house up. Really got me. Excellent work by Ian.

[fye]

Titus Bramble wouldn't say no. She would, but he wouldn't listen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALLEGEDLY.

 

moments ago in the "would you shag Adele?" thread poll

[WWFChilli]

add my vote to Ian's post, I fuck off for 3 days and that glorious bit of work appears

[HarmonicGenerator]

Keith Houchen, conspiracy thread. The truth must be told.

 

Duane's not taken Veitch's heel turn at all well, has he? He must feel like I did when HBK stuck Jannetty through the window.

But was it Jannetty though? I read that it was a actually a sphere from space and Jannetty was superimposed afterwards.

[Devon Malcolm]

Yep, definitely.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Third that. Enemy deserves no mercy when Keith's on a roll.

[Fatty Facesitter]

Mr. Seven, Premier League thread.

I always find it funny when a Liverpool fan like bobbins or JLM comes along with detailed and rational posts relating to their respective games (granted bobbins got it depressingly wrong when it comes to Rodwell's tackle) and then are drowned out by the sheer, utter retardation of hitmannumbers and Keeno, cretins who can't even structure a sentence correctly, let alone an argument. Gentlemen - and I use that term with all the ironic scorn I can muster - you are both the epitome of the worst kind of Liverpool, nay, football fan. You are disturbingly moronic and you display a truly painful lack of self-awareness and a generally neanderthal approach to a game of skill, tactics and intelligence. Your pathetic reaction to any kind of criticism of a player who adorns the Scouse red is nothing short of embarrasing, and when you respond to this post with profanity and aggression, it will only prove my point that you are both a waste of oxygen and a terrible reminder that modern society has failed us greatly. Oh, and Suarez is a fantastic footballer but an absolute dickhead. But then again I would be too if I was a footballer with skillz, but I think I'd rather be Joey Barton than a buck-toothed pussy.

[Devon Malcolm]

Spot on in every way. Seconded.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Thirded. He's not wrong either, is he?

[insert_name_here]

Hopefully, they all turn up on Smackdown and Triple H fires the lot of them, leading to next Monday Triple H bringing in people who will give him a vote of confidence:"It may have looked like I wasnt happy about the roster walking out on Monday Night, but after a week to think about it, I have come up with a better solution than before. I phoned a bunch of guys, who dont moan, who make their towns, who have the look. So my first order of business is to strip Alberto Del Rio of the WWE title and put it on someone who has a better look, who is a better worker and who has more charisma and drawing power ...""After walking out on Monday Night, Air Boom have been stripped of the WWE tag team titles. The new champions have promised me a vote of confidence. They are ..."*DUN-DER-DUN-DUN* OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW ..."Cody Rhodes made it clear he wanted no part of a WWE with me as the COO, so a new Intercontinental champion has been crowed ...""HOOOOOOOOOOOWLLL ...WOLFPAC IS BACK CAUSIN' MASS DESTRUCTION ...""Now that Dolf Ziggler has left the WWE, there isn't a Smackdown singles uppercard champion and the WWE Universe needs a United States champion. Someone who can work. I'd like to bring him out here ..."X-PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC-X-PAC-You think you can tell me what to do ...""Before we go any further, Beth Phoenix obviously isnt mentally strong enough to carry that Divas title. So for the belt to truly progress both in the ring and outside the ring, my wife Stephanie is now the new WWE Divas champion ...""No chance, thats what you got ..." *Stephanie comes out to the Corporations Music because its the only one I can remember*GENERAL MANAGER LAPTOP SOUND: "Can I have your attention please, and I quote, the anonymous general manager says 'hit my music' ....: "DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-I THINK I'M CUTE I KNOW I'M SEXY ..."And finally, I need to apologise to someone. Kevin Nash. I'm sorry. I made a mistake, we need you on board. HOW ABOUT IT ... WHAT DO YA SAY ... ONE MORE RUN, BIG MAN!""And to show how much I'm sorry, you are now the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD"AND THE WWE ENTERED ANOTHER BOOM PERIOD"It wasnt supposed to happen this way ..."

Another belter from Ian. Had me howling this did

[HarmonicGenerator]

Seconded

[NEWM]

Thirded, really enjoyed that.

[air_raid]

Thank Christ someone agrees, a couple of the lads I drink with think Thompson's the fittest thing on the planet but she's not even in the top 3 on SSN anymore, McQueen, Natalie Sawyer and Millie Clode piss on her

I don't much care for sports, but I would definitely watch that.

Chortle!

[The King Of Swing]

Fouthed for that blinder by Ian and I would like to nominate air raid for his cracker in the fashion thread.

Apologies guys, this is for an audience of one really.Hey, June....

Why do people think so negatively?

My gut reaction was to simply put "I don't like you because you're the kind of guy that if someone didn't like you, you'd take them for a walk in the park and ask them why." But to be quite frank, I'm not as funny as I'd like to think, so here goes with the serious answer.I might be able to help you out here, if you can lower yourself to my level. Precisely what my level is of course in terms of education, life experience and travel, I shan't bore you with right now, because it's irrelevant. What may have started off with a few comments about that photo of you has, it seems, spiralled out of control. There is either a deeply-rooted personal loathing towards you radiating out of one or two other posters, or at the very least you perceive that there is.

I'm the opposite, I've read Plato, and bits and bobs of other philosophy, and a fuck load of Utopias, but I don't feel the need to mention I've read them, I just take in what I see in the world and offer opinions based on that.

So... why mention it now? I have no wish to ignite a personal war of words with you myself, but the oxymoronic nature of this sentence is a very easy addition to the catalogue of evidence the "you're a cunt" troop seem to have stockpiled against you. It's got nothing to do with your actual opinions, it's more to do with the perception of what kind of person you are, and here we have what can easily be interpreted as (unconsciously) reinforcing the "I'm smarter/more learned than you lot" stereotype which you have been - fairly or unfairly - labelled with. You will be smarter and more learned than many posters are or were at your age ; there will also be many where this is not true. But you have an unailing ability to portray the self-belief that you are better than the rest of us. This also frequently manifests itself in an apparent belief that your opinion/way of doing something is RIGHT and the rest of us are WRONG. This of course may not be true, but it's perceived to be true by the "you're a cunt" troop.

There is no call for personal attacks; they reveal merely the hatred, bitterness and insecurities only natural in some people who spend their lives in the uncool hobby of following wrestling and browsing forums.

Skip to....

if/when I become a a rich, disillusioned 9-5 accountant who has foregone all his principles, I'll be at least gleeful that bullies like yourselves will life and die with nothing more than hatred and bitterness, because your minds were constantly polluted with negative thoughts.

... which, in turn, makes you come off as bitter, yeah?Don't get me wrong, you're an intelligent guy - you know this, that's a huge part of the problem. Personally, you lost me in the infidelity thread, suggesting you didn't see any moral objection to being the third party when a partner cheats on another. The problem when it comes to that kind of thing is you can certainly argue a point to an opinion but when it comes to morals and ethics, you are dealing with people's beliefs which are very difficult if not nigh on impossible to change or overcome. Unfortunately that particular moral belief also firmly fits into associating with the kind of personality traits that a lot of the lads on here seem to categorize as "cunt."While we are on the subject of "cunt..."

And to continue, we all like sticking our dicks in things, it's merely convention that makes us categorise between different orifices.

Do you not think you have overthought this somewhat? It's not convention that dictates I like sticking my dick (so to speak) in a woman and that I have no desire to do it with a man, it's a combination of physiological responses that make me desire and greatly enjoy the former, and have no desire to engage in the latter.

Everybody is simply 'sexual', rather than all this 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' shit, and almost everybody who rushes to say "I'm 100% straight" is in fact only 100% insecure about the fact that even a small part of them is attracted to other men.

Except... this isn't really true, is it? I don't care for certain labels, having been mis-labelled at various points in my uni days as a goth, emo, headbanger and gay, despite missing out rather important traits/tastes/opinions consistent with those that would self-label themselves as any of those things - such as the aforementioned sticking my dick in a man - but I will HAPPILY label myself as heterosexual, and am 100% secure that I have no, umm, insecurity as you suggest.I imagine at this point you are dying to question my emotional intelligence, but fret not. While I will no doubt be cyber-lamped by some of the "lads" around here for this admission, there was a time when I was living with a mate that at times I found myself questioning whether I would entertain a relationship with him. We had a lot in common, I enjoyed his company to the point where I could happily spend all day with him and not miss the company of others, even to the point where we routinely talked about our hopes and dreams, shared our worst fears and darkest secrets and talked all manner of cobblers about the meaning of life. I could have loved him, easily. There was only one thing missing.I wasn't sexually attracted to him, not even slightly. In simplest terms, I didn't want to put my dick in him. There were plenty of times we both comforted each other through emotional fragility - rejection, financial worries, rejection, bereavement - and there were plenty of times where there was a degree of physicality or taking clothes off in front of each other - going to the gym, staging pretend WWF matches with the other lads - where I firmly believe any latency would have bloomed into full-on attraction to him, but it never did.After a long period of confusion, the episode lead me to realize that while I considered the option that I could be bi - possibly subconsciously even wanted to be since it seemed so popular and "fashionable" (LOL) or even that I didn't want to restrict finding that ONE other person to one gender (a la Alyssa Jones) - in truth I had never nor could ever be attracted to men. Much like Holden McNeil before me, I guess I like tits too much.But yeah, referring to anyone else's lifestyle choice as "all this 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' shit" could again be filed into the weighty dossier of "possible cunt" by those that are that way inclined.Which brings me, somewhat aptly, to ;

Disagree with my opinions, but those who use the words 'moron', 'twat', 'cunt', 'idiot', 'wanker' with such frequency are only demeaning themselves rather than the person they're hoping to humiliate.

I do find it strange that someone as intelligent as yourself again falls into the trap of portraying yourself (possibly unconsciously) as above it all. It's human nature to develop disdain towards people where either their habits, personality or moral code revile you, and unfortunately on the web most of us potray our own personalities turned up to eleven, much like pro wrestlers do on't telly, and while we might not call someone a cunt in real life, or indeed punch them square in the face, as tempting as it sometimes is, because they revile you so much, it becomes necessary sometimes to call someone a cunt in order to try and bring an end to that which causes such distress. If anything, it's a confused plea to stop.What I have attempted in the preceeding paragraphs is somewhat of a more dignified plea - my quotes from yourself are some of the examples I have plucked out which I feel illustrate your belief (or projected belief) that you are better than the rest of us. If you genuinely believe yourself to be a victim of cyber-bullying and actively seek to reduce it... no, I don't believe I can offer you advice as such, not that I pretend you would take it, but I hope I might have explained a little as to how you appear to have become.... reviled.I'm not entirely sure you actually are that bothered....

I wrote this as a chain-of-though reply to bring closure on the 'offensive, pretentious twat' gimmick I have so enjoyed playing.

... in which case, you may wish to consider, as a final thought, that a lot of the "you're a cunt" troop savage you so because they enjoy playing up to your gimmick, and the perceived trauma it causes. Which in turn, may cease, if you have indeed been stringing us all along.Wherever your story leads from here, best of luck in your future endeavours, Flaming June.Oh........ you're a cunt.

[PunkStep]

Seconded. Air_Raid might as well take the poster of the year crown now. I don't even remember him before this year, that's how much of an impact he's made in 2011.