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The Bad Touch

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My mates and I were discussing guilty pleasures, and one confessed one of his first wanks was over Dorian from Birds Of A Feather.

I'm fairly sure I was knocking them out over Dorian and the thinner, blonde sister fairly regular at about twelve or thirteen. I think they were on Living or some cable channel every night at about five.

 

You all going on about these dirty German channels on Sky makes me wonder if Cable never had them, or if I was just an idiot and never went that high up through the numbers.

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Nah, they wouldn't have been on Cable. Satellite served all of Europe, that's why we got Sat1 and RTL.

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My most shameful moment came in my youth... (would u believe i just typed mouth instead of youth) I was a paperboy and delivered to a few blocks of elderly housing flats. The News of the world had a centra page spread of Angelina Jolie nude scenes. I kept looking at them on my round, at 7am on a sunday morning. It became too much for me , and between floors of the old folks home,i battered one out over some old guys paper and just binned it... shameful shameful times. But very exposed, so quite exciting.. something I may well do again one day

 

ps ill edit the topic title since we have branched into stories

 

i can relate.

 

i used to deliver Sunday paper as well and i had times where i'd catch them middle page spreads or some topless holiday snaps and end up walking around my route with a stiff one...never went as far to actually nudge one out though, i always waited until i got home.

 

Funny story though :laugh:

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I'm going out with a girl tonight and I truly hope to bang her, I was trying to save my mojo up by not jerking off today or all day yesterday but I succumbed to temptation last night and as soon as I finished I cared less about my date tonight, I still haven't gotten over that feeling, I was so amped yesterday, now I don't care. I'm wondering if maybe having a wank but not finishing is the way to get my sex gauge (mmm Gauge) up to speed but it can be a dangerous game.

 

You're such a classy guy!

 

Im the opposite, if im meeting up with a girl I really like I prefer to "remove the urge" so when im with her I wont be thinking about dragging her into a bush at earliest opportunity. Im romantic like that.

Also makes good dinner conversation;

 

"So, did it take you long to get ready tonite?"

 

I'm too old to need to 'Remove the urge' I'm such a jaded haggard old bastard that I need to 'Save it up' to show a girl a good time.

 

Here's my wanking story,

I used to work in a video shop, it was incredibly quiet during the day and as I was the only person there I couldn't leave to go out the back or anything and as a male with 10 hours by myself on my hands I naturally decided to whack off (while looking at a porn movie catalogue). I was standing up behind the counter facing the door and a massive full shop front window, anyone walking past could see me from the elbows up. Once I looked up from my German porn catalogue after going at it for a while and a middle aged man was standing 2 feet away from me waiting to ask me a question, to this day I'm haunted by not knowing how much he saw.

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Fucking hell, Pritt, that's a bit raw. I had a wank working in Blockbuster on my own, but I at least went to the backroom of the shop. I can't remember if I locked up the shop (standard protocol for lone staff when going to the toilet or whatever) while I did it, I vaguely remember having to stop halfway through to serve a customer though. And I wish I had a German porn catalogue. I had a News of the World and the cover label of PS2 game BMX XXX.

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begs the question, whats the strangest thing you have wanked off to? i mean, there are times you are so far gone anything will do it. I remember as such using madonnas music video "music" cause her tits were great in it.... ill think of more am sure...fuck, as i speak

 

I remember when younger I started staying at home myself after school rather than have to go to grandparents. I found a 12 page pullout in my mums cupboard that was 12 sec positions for the year. I used to think everyday in school about what one i was going to wank off to when i got in... it was all cartoon drawings, but hot as fuck.

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Nah, they wouldn't have been on Cable. Satellite served all of Europe, that's why we got Sat1 and RTL.

 

Cambridge/Anglia Cable had Sat1 and RTL (channels 38 and 33 I believe). Playboy Late Night Show~!

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begs the question, whats the strangest thing you have wanked off to? i mean, there are times you are so far gone anything will do it.

 

I found a pack of condoms in my parents room one day whilst I was home alone. Reading the instructions were all the ammo I needed to pull myself right there and then.

 

"Place securely on the tip of the penis and roll to the base".

 

"Not suitable for anal sex".

 

Tell me that ain't hot.

Edited by Wretch

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One time I was round my mate's house and went out for a bit, so I had a wank in his hot older sister's bed, aroused by nothing more than a) it was where she no doubt had masturbated/been fucked and b) the smell of her. That was pretty weird.

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I was waiting, in this thread full of amazing, disgusting stories, for the one post where you could suddenly hear a pin drop and have everyone back away the moment it went up. That was it.

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One time I was round my mate's house and went out for a bit, so I had a wank in his hot older sister's bed, aroused by nothing more than a) it was where she no doubt had masturbated/been fucked and b) the smell of her. That was pretty weird.

 

Pretty weird yeah, what's your definition of fucked up?

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Wanking in the same room as your asleep sister watching a snuff Grange Hill?

Edited by ButchReedMark

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