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The Bad Touch

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PS; Anyone done more than 7 times in one day?

 

Regrettably yes. I reached the magic 10 one day when I was 13-14, and made the mistake of blurting it out to my mates when we were discussing embarassing shit we used to do when younger. It's a constant source of piss taking, and rightfully so probably.

 

 

Nowadays, after finishing the deed, so to speak, Porn just disgusts me and I can't wait to get rid of it from the screen. Weird, that.

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Nowadays, after finishing the deed, so to speak, Porn just disgusts me and I can't wait to get rid of it from the screen. Weird, that.

 

Yeah, I'm the same. Every time I finish myself off after a session on youjizz.com, I look at the screen and shamefully close the browser and wonder why I even bothered cracking one off.

 

Ditto to whoever it was that said they they like to listen to music after a wank. I do this aswell. Sometimes I might be three-quarters of the way there and a song will pop into my head and I'll just HAVE to listen to it once I'm done. In fact, if I'm having a wank before bedtime, I'll place the MP3 player in reaching distance of the bed so I wont have to stumble about in the dark covered in jizz looking for it.

 

I was a late bloomer when it came to wanking. First time I cracked one off, I was about thirteen years old. I didn't ejaculate until a year after that. Now that I come to think of it, when I first started, I done it wrong. I just grabbed my cock by the top and just shook it from side to side. I knew I was doing it wrong when I developed a rash on the tip of my penis which I had to painfully peel from from my underwear every night. More than once my Mother questioned me about the single blot of blood on my undies when she was doing the washing. Of course, I denied all knowledge of what it could be. Torture. Just absolute torture.

 

Another story that springs to mind. Before I started wanking, I knew that all of my friends did it, even though it was something we were shy about discussing. One afternoon in 1998 I think it was, one of the lads rummaged through his parents cupboard and found a porno video. A lightbulb goes on above young Steven's head and he declares that since his Mother was out for the next couple of hours, we could pile into his living room and stick it on there. Of course at that age, a porno and a free gaff were the greatest thing a young lad could have.

 

So anyway, we're about fifteen or so minutes into the smut and one of the lads suggests a group wank. Everyone else agrees. I don't know what the hell a wank is, but I agree to it too. Hell, it sounded fun. So all the fellas take out their pieces but on the ball as always, Steven suggests we all shift positions so that we all can see the TV, but we don't get a glimpse of each others cocks. As we all know, a eyeful of another mans cock and turn you fruity. My position is up against the wall and conveniently enough, this doubles as someone keeping sketch. I could see out of the corner of the window from where I was standing. So they're all fapping away and I'm staring into the wall with the corner of my eye on the TV. I have a massive boner, but not a clue what to do with it. So for the next while, I just thrust it into the wall. That's right, I thrust into the wall. One hand on the base of my cock, the other hand leaning against the wall and man, for what seemed like forever, I'm thrusting like nobody's business. Once all the lads came, I told them I did too, then we went outside and played football.

 

Once I did learn how to properly do it though, there was no stopping me. Even at that age, I was obsessed with it and I just HAD to have one at every opportunity that presented itself. Of course, this has led to some embarassing situations and scenarios. My Nan caught me wanking on my Auntie's bed, my Dad has caught me twice, a group of ten mates caught me on my living room sofa whilst my parents were out, my Sister caught me while I had pussy on the monitor, I wanked in the back of Mr. Cooney's classroom in fifth class (twice). Like Waterboy said though, when your Mum called you downstairs for dinner or something when you were just getting into fifth gear. In those situations, the ol 'tuck the boner between your legs' approach worked more often than not, even if you did walk to the dinner table like John Wayne.

 

Oh yeah, EDITED to say that I got caught jacking off in an Internet cafe in Tokyo by my mate too.

Edited by Wretch

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im what you call a stealth wanker, meaning i wait till the coast is clear before cracking one out, usually when everyones in bed and i stick some porn on my laptop, taking care to not have my headphones on and the volume down on the telly so i can hear if anyone comes down or my sister comes in after being out. never been caught once, although i came close on xmas eve as i tried to have a stealthy in my room but the springs on my bed caught the attention of my sister two doors away and i had to cover up saying i was standing on my bed getting a dvd off my shelf.

 

anyone ever had a period without a wank? i've once gone a week without one, and nearly bust a nut when i finally did

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Nowadays, after finishing the deed, so to speak, Porn just disgusts me and I can't wait to get rid of it from the screen. Weird, that.

 

Yeah, I'm the same. Every time I finish myself off after a session on youjizz.com, I look at the screen and shamefully close the browser and wonder why I even bothered cracking one off.

 

Ditto to whoever it was that said they they like to listen to music after a wank. I do this aswell. Sometimes I might be three-quarters of the way there and a song will pop into my head and I'll just HAVE to listen to it once I'm done. In fact, if I'm having a wank before bedtime, I'll place the MP3 player in reaching distance of the bed so I wont have to stumble about in the dark covered in jizz looking for it.

 

I was a late bloomer when it came to wanking. First time I cracked one off, I was about thirteen years old. I didn't ejaculate until a year after that. Now that I come to think of it, when I first started, I done it wrong. I just grabbed my cock by the top and just shook it from side to side. I knew I was doing it wrong when I developed a rash on the tip of my penis which I had to painfully peel from from my underwear every night. More than once my Mother questioned me about the single blot of blood on my undies when she was doing the washing. Of course, I denied all knowledge of what it could be. Torture. Just absolute torture.

 

Another story that springs to mind. Before I started wanking, I knew that all of my friends did it, even though it was something we were shy about discussing. One afternoon in 1998 I think it was, one of the lads rummaged through his parents cupboard and found a porno video. A lightbulb goes on above young Steven's head and he declares that since his Mother was out for the next couple of hours, we could pile into his living room and stick it on there. Of course at that age, a porno and a free gaff were the greatest thing a young lad could have.

 

So anyway, we're about fifteen or so minutes into the smut and one of the lads suggests a group wank. Everyone else agrees. I don't know what the hell a wank is, but I agree to it too. Hell, it sounded fun. So all the fellas take out their pieces but on the ball as always, Steven suggests we all shift positions so that we all can see the TV, but we don't get a glimpse of each others cocks. As we all know, a eyeful of another mans cock and turn you fruity. My position is up against the wall and conveniently enough, this doubles as someone keeping sketch. I could see out of the corner of the window from where I was standing. So they're all fapping away and I'm staring into the wall with the corner of my eye on the TV. I have a massive boner, but not a clue what to do with it. So for the next while, I just thrust it into the wall. That's right, I thrust into the wall. One hand on the base of my cock, the other hand leaning against the wall and man, for what seemed like forever, I'm thrusting like nobody's business. Once all the lads came, I told them I did too, then we went outside and played football.

 

Once I did learn how to properly do it though, there was no stopping me. Even at that age, I was obsessed with it and I just HAD to have one at every opportunity that presented itself. Of course, this has led to some embarassing situations and scenarios. My Nan caught me wanking on my Auntie's bed, my Dad has caught me twice, a group of ten mates caught me on my living room sofa whilst my parents were out, my Sister caught me while I had pussy on the monitor, I wanked in the back of Mr. Cooney's classroom in fifth class (twice). Like Waterboy said though, when your Mum called you downstairs for dinner or something when you were just getting into fifth gear. In those situations, the ol 'tuck the boner between your legs' approach worked more often than not, even if you did walk to the dinner table like John Wayne.

 

This is the craziest collection of madness I have ever read. Each line is surely untoppable, until you get to the next.

 

when I first started, I done it wrong. I just grabbed my cock by the top and just shook it from side to side

 

Close the internet. Shut it all down right now. It's all downhill from here.

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So anyway, we're about fifteen or so minutes into the smut and one of the lads suggests a group wank. Everyone else agrees. I don't know what the hell a wank is, but I agree to it too. Hell, it sounded fun. So all the fellas take out their pieces but on the ball as always, Steven suggests we all shift positions so that we all can see the TV, but we don't get a glimpse of each others cocks. As we all know, a eyeful of another mans cock and turn you fruity. My position is up against the wall and conveniently enough, this doubles as someone keeping sketch. I could see out of the corner of the window from where I was standing. So they're all fapping away and I'm staring into the wall with the corner of my eye on the TV. I have a massive boner, but not a clue what to do with it. So for the next while, I just thrust it into the wall. That's right, I thrust into the wall. One hand on the base of my cock, the other hand leaning against the wall and man, for what seemed like forever, I'm thrusting like nobody's business. Once all the lads came, I told them I did too, then we went outside and played football.

:laugh: One of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Edited by Steveo2007

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Anyone else partake in wank therapy, usually following a night out on the town. Whenever I'm hungover I seem to get incredibly horny and can be turned on by the most simple of things. Many a time I've had to pause a film I was watching because I caught a slight glimpse of flesh that set me off. I've probably wanked five or six times today all thanks to being completely pissed the night before. It's the same for when I'm ill too.

Edited by Green

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Anyone else partake in wank therapy, usually following a night out on the town. Whenever I'm hungover I seem to get incredibly horny and can be turned on by the most simple of things. Many a time I've had to pause a film I was watching because I caught a slight glimpse of flesh that set me off. I've probably wanked five or six times today all thanks to being completely pissed the night before. It's the same for when I'm ill too.

Can't say it's happened when I've been ill, but definitely when pissed.

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I must admit I never have seen what the big deal is with this or sex in general it's something I've never done or wanted to do I've never felt the need or desire.

 

However I have to admit the reason is likely because I'm an Asexual

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Once I was flicking through the "Ahem" late night channels, have a crafty bift when just at the point that I ejected my silver, sticky man juice I flicked over to 40+ and there was my own sister flicking her boobies, revealing hlaf an asshole through her white thong, worst 5 seconds of pleasure ever, my eyes rolled into the back of my head Undertaker style to avoid the images but it was to late.

 

I've not spoke to my sister since.

 

 

Go on then, I might as well be the first to ask it.

 

Who is your Sister? (PM answer if you like).

 

;), :thumbsup:

 

 

Can't be promising I won't be having a tug over her (Or who knows, may have already) as some of the 40+ channel babes are top notch!

 

 

Can only imagine the awkward moment you must have had with this, LOL.

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I must admit I never have seen what the big deal is with this or sex in general it's something I've never done or wanted to do I've never felt the need or desire.

 

However I have to admit the reason is likely because I'm an Asexual

Have you ever tried it? (masturbation that is) It's good, you should give it a go.

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I'm going out with a girl tonight and I truly hope to bang her, I was trying to save my mojo up by not jerking off today or all day yesterday but I succumbed to temptation last night and as soon as I finished I cared less about my date tonight, I still haven't gotten over that feeling, I was so amped yesterday, now I don't care. I'm wondering if maybe having a wank but not finishing is the way to get my sex gauge (mmm Gauge) up to speed but it can be a dangerous game.

 

You're such a classy guy!

 

Im the opposite, if im meeting up with a girl I really like I prefer to "remove the urge" so when im with her I wont be thinking about dragging her into a bush at earliest opportunity. Im romantic like that.

Also makes good dinner conversation;

 

"So, did it take you long to get ready tonite?"

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