Browser Brady Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Thanks folks. Appreciate the candid feedback. Thanks @deathrey for the in-depth response. Aidos Peppa.
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted January 18 Paid Members Posted January 18 I've found with TV is that it's good in moderation and also to make sure they watch decent stuff. There's loads of fast paced, obnoxious, annoying addictive shite for kids on YouTube and Netflix. It'll turn your kids brains to mush and make them angry annoying twats when you turn it off. Stick to Ceebeebies or older, calmer gentler shows and you'll see a noticeable difference in their moods and how they interact with it
Paid Members hallicks Posted June 1 Paid Members Posted June 1 Youngest (autistic, GDD) is currently at a specialist provision in year 5. We got an email from the council today saying we needed to start the process of her secondary transition and we had to name our preference. Our preference is, shitly for all concerned, a 30-40 minute drive away, and the council guidance says they will only pay for transport to the nearest suitable school. Her current school (which goes up to age 25 I think), and the other specialist secondary provision nearby, are less academically focused. Youngest is behind her age group generally, but is quite a bit ahead of most her class peers, and she’s probably capable of being pushed more. The one we want to choose offers a more challenging academic curriculum, but still with the extra help that someone with her needs requires. Public transport is not an option (because it basically doesn’t exist). My wife doesn’t drive (hasn’t learned, it’s complicated). We couldn’t afford the taxi fares without winning the lottery. Has anyone had any experience with the system? We’re only able to name a single school on the application, so if LA disagrees with our choice, it just feels like we’re fucked.
deathrey Posted June 1 Posted June 1 Is that not the nearest suitable provision then? As from what you are describing the other options are not suitable and that's what you need to be prepared to argue. Every council is so different so I would suggest advice from local parents groups (people may have experienced that same and fought for transport or carpool?) and I would suggest getting advice from your local SENDIAS
Members SuperBacon Posted June 1 Members Posted June 1 @hallicks you can appeal against any decision the eligibility team* make, and of course without knowing the ins and outs of it all, look up their transport policy or ask someone to send it to you. Also ask about things like contracted transport, passenger assistance and also whether they offer a PTB (Personal Transport Budget) where you are ultimately responsible for their travel, but as it says, its a budget. Best of luck mate. *I'd just like to say that they have an incredibly hard job, do an amazing job and will always try and work with parents to find the best solution.
Paid Members hallicks Posted June 1 Paid Members Posted June 1 Thanks both. Will ask around the SEND Facebook group and also talk to the schools in question. Her current one was very helpful in all of this when she was going into reception.
deathrey Posted June 4 Posted June 4 Again, I'm using this thread as a bit of a vent as I don't always feel I can voice this to people I know. We had a meeting with my son school yesterday, he has been allocated a place in the schools Autism Base. This is something I have really fought for as I can't see him coping in a regular Year 1 classroom where he is expected to sit at a desk and learn, he just isn't capable of it. His speech and language has come along a lot but he is no where near the kind of level where he can have a conversation - he can communicate his needs well though. Anyway we had a meeting about what that would look like for him - play based learning in a high student to staff ratio setting with a big focus on speech and language, he will stay on the Reception provision and be joined by 5 new students to the school who will be Reception aged. He will have staff he is happy and familiar with and it all sounds really great for him but I feel really deflated about it all and I'm not really sure why? I've fought with the LA for this and I thought I would feel more positive. I think maybe I feel a bit sad that he will be leaving his class behind? Which he won't really be all that bothered about, he hasn't really made any friends in the traditional sense. I am very grateful that he's got the provision but I don't know why I feel so shit about it all?!
Members SuperBacon Posted June 4 Members Posted June 4 It's understandable @deathrey you're just being naturally protective of your son. Perhaps it's because like you say "normally" he would be leaving his class and friends behind, but if he's happy and it doesn't bother him, that's all good isn't it? Good to hear he'll have staff he's familiar with.
deathrey Posted June 4 Posted June 4 4 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: It's understandable @deathrey you're just being naturally protective of your son. Perhaps it's because like you say "normally" he would be leaving his class and friends behind, but if he's happy and it doesn't bother him, that's all good isn't it? Good to hear he'll have staff he's familiar with. Yeah absolutely, the setting will be much better for him. He'll still see his current class at break times and lunch times, but whilst he is happy to see them, he doesn't engage much with them. I mean to be honest this is all guess work from me because he can:t actually tell us how he feels abot it but I don't think he will be overly bothered. He'll miss his teaching assistant more than any of the other children I think.
deathrey Posted June 4 Posted June 4 I think I just need to get over myself. It's probably a hangover of 'things don't look like I expected my family life to be'.
DavidB6937 Posted June 4 Posted June 4 I think the toughest thing as a parent is wanting everything for them, you know? You're their biggest advocate. There's always going to be a part of you that wants more because why wouldn't you? With my son before he passed, having to go through slower development at nursery and appointments etc, I was frustrated for him but also for us. It's that grief of losing a life you may have dreamt of, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Most of the time you learn to be happy with the happiness there is, but there'll always be a 'what if' part and that's completely natural.
Members SuperBacon Posted June 4 Members Posted June 4 7 minutes ago, deathrey said: I think I just need to get over myself. It's probably a hangover of 'things don't look like I expected my family life to be'. And again, that's understandable, the majority of parents feel the same, I certainly do 99% of the time. Never underestimate the power of a good vent
deathrey Posted June 4 Posted June 4 Thank you both for your kind words. I did need to get it off my chest and do feel better for saying it rather than stewing on it. I thought I was pretty comfortable with our family life looking different to expectations but maybe I'm not quite there? I'm forever grateful for the family I have so I always worry about saying things to people as I don't want to come across as ungrateful.
DavidB6937 Posted June 4 Posted June 4 25 minutes ago, deathrey said: Thank you both for your kind words. I did need to get it off my chest and do feel better for saying it rather than stewing on it. I thought I was pretty comfortable with our family life looking different to expectations but maybe I'm not quite there? I'm forever grateful for the family I have so I always worry about saying things to people as I don't want to come across as ungrateful. That's the thing with life though isn't it? When you really think about it, there's always going to be someone worse off - we could be homeless, or living on the bare minimum in Africa or whatever else. I think it's human nature to adapt to what you know, what your society is, what you're born into etc. I think it naturally gives you hopes, dreams, expectations.. whatever you want to call it. And that doesn't make you ungrateful in the slightest. It's like fame. To so many people on the outside famous people have everything. Influencers. Actors. All of that. But as many of us know, that comes with the downside of no privacy or real control over their own life etc, so even "successful" people have 'I wish things were different' moments. Bit of a ramble but point being everyone has those thoughts. I don't think a single person on this planet is 100% content all the time. Allow yourself those down moments!
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted June 4 Moderators Posted June 4 1 hour ago, deathrey said: Thank you both for your kind words. I did need to get it off my chest and do feel better for saying it rather than stewing on it. I thought I was pretty comfortable with our family life looking different to expectations but maybe I'm not quite there? I'm forever grateful for the family I have so I always worry about saying things to people as I don't want to come across as ungrateful. Glad you feel comfortable to share here... Everyone deserves an outlet free from judgement. Being a parent is hard work, regardless of each of our personal circumstances.
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