Joe Blog Posted June 4 Posted June 4 Echoing how it’s good you can post here about this. My sisters son is autistic and it has taken her a long time to (not accept it as that isn’t the word) but to put to rest the life she thought she would have I suppose is the best way of wording it. She always wanted to take her son to Disney Land and it has taken her a long time to accept that it just isn’t likely at all due to his personality and the environments that dysregulate him. She is a fantastic mum and does everything in her power for him and absolutely knows what he needs and what are the situations that would cause him distress, but I know at times she still mourns the life that she had wished for him. Maybe that is a part of how you feel the way you do? Always use this place to let things out when/if you need to. He is lucky to have you.
deathrey Posted June 5 Posted June 5 (edited) It's nice to have a non-judgemental place to share things. I can completely relate to what you are saying in regards to your sister @Joe Blog. I have a lot of the same feelings in regards to what I imagined life to be. We are quite lucky with my son in that overwhelm from noise doesn't seem to be a huge issue for him so we have managed lots of days out and my dream of Disneyland with the kids may be possible one day. I think one of the hardest things for me is the relationship between my sons. I'm really close to my siblings and my youngest tries desperately to interact with my eldest who just isn't that interested. He doesn't play with him and often won't even acknowledge him, my youngest is 3 so not really able to understand what autism is and gets very upset sometimes, other times he takes it in his stride. My eldest is starting to acknowledge him more and more very slowly so things may not always be this way and there is obviously a lot of love between the two. My eldest won't go to school without giving his brother a high five (which is a new development) so I can see things slowly changing. I accept their relationship will be different to mine and my siblings and that's ok and all they will ever know - but it does still upset me sometimes. I've been reflecting on the school situation and I think I feel deflated as it all feels quite final and official that his journey will be different. Some of the mums of his classmates I've known since he was in nursery and I think I feel quite sad about seeing how they will fork off in different directions and it's somewhat the end of the road for me but not for them in regards to our relationships. We are on very different journeys so it was inevitable at some point. There is a somewhat controversial poem about having an autistic child which resonated quite a lot with me - some people do hate it and I understand why but I'll share it incase it resonates with others on the journey. https://www.emilyperlkingsley.com/welcome-to-holland Edited June 5 by deathrey
Members SuperBacon Posted June 5 Members Posted June 5 Siblings is an interesting one. Me and my ex took the kids to Thorpe Park on Sunday, and as we watched them queue for Swarm again (once was enough for me) we both remarked on how incredible it is that our girls get on so well with each other. They really are incredibly good friends, and it made us both a bit tearful as its been a long journey to get thwre. But now at 13 and 16 they genuinely like being in each others company, and really get on. I didn't get on with my sisters until I was about 16, they're both 6 and 7 years older than me and I was a right shit, and I do get on with my sister that's still alive, and my ex hated her little brother until they were much older. My kids have grandparents who aren't particularly close, and have no interaction with any cousins or extended family except one, so it's really pleasing that they have each other, and hopefully alwsys will have. It's not bliss all the time, but for example my youngest has really struggled with school recently and our eldest has been amazing with her, both at school and at home and bear in mind shes deep in her GCSEs and has been revising insanely hard. She's left now and I hope it doesn't effect my youngest from now on, as they'll now never be at the same education place again. Time goes by so fast.
Members SuperBacon Posted June 16 Members Posted June 16 Eldest has finished her GCSEs and has a part time job for the summer 😭 Nothing ages you quicker than something like that happening. She's worked so hard these last few months (and years) I hope its all paid off for her. Markedly different from her Dad who did no revision and just rocked up to the exams, and on one occasion stoned out of his box. LADSLADSLADS. (What an idiot)
Paid Members Onyx2 Posted June 16 Paid Members Posted June 16 1 hour ago, SuperBacon said: Eldest has finished her GCSEs... Nothing ages you quicker Mate my youngest has just finished their GCSEs. 💀
Members SuperBacon Posted June 16 Members Posted June 16 1 minute ago, Onyx2 said: Mate my youngest has just finished their GCSEs. 💀 Ooooooof. Pipe and slippers time (sounds lovely) Grandad.
Paid Members Onyx2 Posted June 16 Paid Members Posted June 16 7 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Ooooooof Yes this is the sound I emit when getting up.
Members SuperBacon Posted June 16 Members Posted June 16 7 minutes ago, Onyx2 said: Yes this is the sound I emit when getting up. My knees no longer click, they crunch when I stand up.
deathrey Posted June 16 Posted June 16 Honestly, the noise my knees make when I climb the stairs haunts and horrifies me
Members SuperBacon Posted June 24 Members Posted June 24 Eldest went to her prom tonight. Time is a myth. Her boyfriend picked her up, and gave her Mum some flowers (smart move) and shook my hand (smart move) and then we all cried as we took photos. I said please don't let the night end up like Booksmart or Superbad, and she said she couldn't guarantee anything 😆 I still feel sick at how much her prom dress cost but we can sell it. My youngest said she'll wear a suit when it's hers. Bless.
Members SuperBacon Posted August 20 Members Posted August 20 My eldest got double 9 in English, the only student in the school to do so, and 160/160 in the lit paper, meaning she got the maximum grade in the entire country 🙃 No idea where she gets it from.
deathrey Posted August 20 Posted August 20 That's amazing! Congratulations to Bacon junior. That is such a difficult thing to do, double 9 is not that common and 160/160 is remarkable!
Members SuperBacon Posted August 20 Members Posted August 20 51 minutes ago, deathrey said: That's amazing! Congratulations to Bacon junior. That is such a difficult thing to do, double 9 is not that common and 160/160 is remarkable! We were all confident of a 9 in English, but we can't get over that grade. It's genuinely mental.
deathrey Posted August 20 Posted August 20 Especially in a subjective subject like English Literature. In black and white subjects like Science and Maths a 100% score is more likely but something like English and History where it's an essay based argument, it's very unusual. They should be incredibly proud of their achievement!
Paid Members Wretch Posted September 1 Paid Members Posted September 1 Quick update on my couple of IVF-related posts in this thread over the last few years; we had a talk over the weekend, and for reasons I'd rather not get into, we've decided to throw the towel in. We're absolutely heartbroken. I'm sure in time we'll see the positives of a child-free future, but I cannot for the life of me see it now. Absolutely and completely gutted.
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