(Re)watching Terrible Shows

[Jazzy G]

The "Reign of Terra" to coin a phrase. 

[The Gaffer]

Not just bicycle shorts, but the era of the fruit pastille coloured speedos as well, lest we forget. The physical morphing of Triple H that year was a sight to behold. I think it's generally attributed to the return from his quad injury, but he managed to keep himself held together throughout 2002. The extra muscle mass was there, but it was being held together. Then something spectacular happened the following year. Hilarious in hindsight that that's the year they tried to market a bodybuilding book for him. "Making The Game: How I ended up looking like melted bread."

[Joe Blog]

On 1/29/2020 at 2:35 PM, HarmonicGenerator said:

I don't know if it was HHH-Nash but that's definitely ringing a bell for me. It must have been one of the next Cell matches after HHH-Jericho, so either Lesnar-Taker, HHH-Nash, or ... the HHH-Shawn one that's still going on now?

Hebner and the refs refused to ref HHH/Nash because HHH was beaten them up no? I remember a ref taking a sledgehammer to the shoulder? 

[tiger_rick]

On 1/27/2020 at 7:26 PM, The King Of Swing said:

Great American Bash 91 is "worth" a go, rick.

Took this one on. I've seen it before. Pretty sure I had the VHS as a kid. Regardless, familiar with the show and it's flaws.

Great American Bash 1991

Tl;dr: Not as bad with hindsight.

For those not familiar, this is the PPV after Ric Flair left WCW, when he'd show up in the WWF with the big gold belt. Whether they're aware in a real sense or just buying it as an angle, the crowd are pissed and voice their frustration.

The first match is one of the worst I've ever seen. When SCG did their "Worst gimmick match concepts" pod, I mentioned my hatred of scaffold matches because of the complete lack of action (not made up for my the drama of the legit unsafe situation). This isn't just a scaffold match, it's a "capture the flag" scaffold match and Bobby Eaton is teaming with PN fucking Newz. A real tag match with Steve Austin and Terry Taylor on one side and Bobby Eaton and anyone on the other would be good but this is horrendous. Six minutes of them shuffling about, utter confusion at whether it's even finished and then a massive section of JR and Skiavone filling while they take it down. One of the few times anyone leaves their feet, Newz crawls on top of Taylor and it looks like he is shagging him up the arse.Awful.

Diamond Stud and Tom Zenk isn't terrible but goes on for ages. The future Razor's gear is pretty terrible. Lemon trunks with "Stud" stitched crudely on the back and what i presume is a diamond on the front looking like the silhouette of his cock. Match had to be dull for me to notice the trunks.

Ron Simmons vs. Oz is next. JR goes hard on selling Simmons. Oz has a great entrance through a big curtain and is accompanyed by a midget called "the Wizard". (Kevin Sullivan under a mask). Match is basic. Nash is green. He blows a drop toe hold and takes three goes to be clotheslined over the top rope.

There are like 300 matches on this card. It's like a WrestleMania of the time. Except on Mania, all the shit matches would be done in 2 minutes.

Battle of the Rock n Roll Express up next. "Richard Morton" vs. Robert Gibson. This is alright but has two flaws. 1) It's overly long again, 17 mins according to Wiki. 2) No-one wants to see it. They work hard and some of the action is good. It's just very weird.

Six man action next. Dustin Rhodes and The Young Pistols cut a pre-match promo in which Dustin does a Dusty impersonation but it's not joking. Haven't seen enough regular WCW from the time to know whether this was a regular thing and how long it lasted. Either way, horrendous. Match vs. The Freebirds (Hayes, Garvin and Badstreet (Brad Armstrong under a mask)) is alright. It's an elimination match so while it's long, it's not a massive drag.

Yellow Dog (Brian Pillman under a mask) vs. Johnny B. Badd is a mid-angle match so doesn't really get going. Nothing bad, just barely starts and is then over quick with a DQ.

Big Josh vs. Black Blood (Billy Jack Haynes under a mask) is OK. I'm not a fan of Lumberjack matches at all but this doesn't go long and then the brawl between all the Lumberjacks really brings the crowd to life. More energy than anything else on the show.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang. Don't really need to expand, you've made your mind up. Funny spot when Kevin Sullivan (no mask) has a wrench and wants to waffle gigante as he hangs over the middle rope but he can't reach. Match winning clothesline from Gigante is one of the worst you'll ever see.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff in a Russian chain match. Build up package for this is pretty good. Some creative angles to get heat on Koloff. Match isn't good or bad, just functional. I wasn't really into it after the previous match though.

JR & Skiavone fill again while they build the cage for Luger & Windham for the now-Vacant WCW title. the crowd go mad with "We want Flair" chants. Once the match starts, they chant it again. this being WCW, the director goes to a camera filming the front row so they can get right up close to people yelling "We want Flair" into the camera. Match is really decent which is no surprise but takes a whiel to get the crowd on board. Harley Race and Mr Hughes come out to assist Luger but it's made very vague to the live crowd. it's obvious to the fan watching on TV although Skiavone tries to play it straighter. Wouldn't be WCW without making Skiavone look a dick.

Main event is Missy Hyatt & Rick Steiner vs. Arn Anderson & Paul E. Dangerously. they've built this all night with a Heyman and Arn promo earlier and Eric Bischoff spying on Missy in the shower. Then Missy is kidnapped by Dick Slater and Dick Murdoch before the match (which Wiki says was legit done "because the Maryland State Athletic Commission didn't allow intergender matches" which begs the question "Why book it?") Steiner wins on his own anyway in a ridiculously short match which most do down as one of the worst PPV main events ever.

Pretty poor show although far better than some I've watched recently. Had one really good match at least and a few that are OK. it just has a very obvious lethargic feel. i find lots of WCW shows from this period feel horrible anyway, even the good ones, but this has a whiff of death about it.

[JNLister]

Yellow Dog (Brian Pillman under a mask) vs. Johnny B. Badd is a mid-angle match so doesn't really get going. Nothing bad, just barely starts and is then over quick with a DQ.

Most memorable part is the beloved babyface looking straight in a ringside camera to shout "More like Johnny B Gay!"

[JNLister]

Then Missy is kidnapped by Dick Slater and Dick Murdoch before the match (which Wiki says was legit done "because the Maryland State Athletic Commission didn't allow intergender matches" which begs the question "Why book it?")

IIRC, they assumed it was just some joke rule that wouldn't get enforced, then discovered on the night it really was the case. They were still arguing over it/sorting out a way round it late in the show, which is why it was switched to being the final match (with the potential to drop it altogether.)

Bit odd/typical WCW that this would happen given that three years earlier in the same building they'd booked a finish (Flair over Luger) that relied on the commission legitimately enforcing its "no blood" rule.

[Hannibal Scorch]

I’m rewatching Superbrawl 2001. The opening match is like a Botchamania episode. Jimmy Yang and Evan Karragus are the biggest offenders 

[kidzero]

On 2/3/2020 at 4:15 PM, JNLister said:

 

 

Most memorable part is the beloved babyface looking straight in a ringside camera to shout "More like Johnny B Gay!"

Yeah I still have the vhs in my perents house love gab 91 it was the 1st wcw show I seen

[tiger_rick]

For my sins, I’ve watched WCW New Blood Rising from 2000.

TL:DR; Absolutely head-banging shite.

Full disclosure, I liked this at the time. I still hadn’t seen a right lot of WCW at the time so it was still novel. I got it from a tape trader so that was always an experience. Also, although I read PowerSlam and a bit of RajahWWF.com, I can’t say I really understood the business or thought too much about it so certain stuff went over my head.

The opener is good. Three Count vs. Jung Dragons in a ladder match for a record contract. Is it the best match ever on a Meltzer DUD show? It might well be. Even Tank Abbott, who is now somewhere between a Roadie and a Groupie, pissing about on the outside doesn’t spoil it. I love all of these guys who aren’t Evan Karagias.

The crowd in Vancouver are great for this show by the way. Bigger and hotter than WCW deserve in 2000.

They are rewarded with the Great Muta - Yay. Against Ernest Miller - Boo. Miller goes over. As if to prove it can get worse than that, it’s the infamous Judy Bagwell on a forklift next. Kanyon is way over for a heel. He deserves so much more than this. Bagwell decking him and then just dancing while his Mam is screaming on a forklift cracks me up though. David Arquette comes out, Madden does his shit trolling about him being a former World Champ and legend of the business and neither Skiavone or Hudson say a fucking word against it. Big Tone just bangs on about when he was last on WCW TV. This is the worst commentary in wrestling history. Honestly. They make Mauro Ranallo sound like Gordon Solie. Buff wins, I think, I was crying by that point.

Next is a four way tag match between Kronic (sic), MIA (Morrus and Lash), Jindrak & O’Haire and  Palumbo & Stasiak. It’s such a mess. The Filthy Animals all come out in ref gear but only Disco is the in-ring ref. Rey and Juvi are wearing the tag belts but apparently Kronic are the champs. That’s poorly explained. There are 8 guys in the match, 4 filthy animals in ref gear all over the place, Konnan doing the most obnoxious commentary ever, run ins from Vampiro and Muta and then Chavo Guerrero while Madden is CONSTANTLY screaming about nothing. It’s ADHD TV. There are talented guys in the ring working hard for nothing.

Shane Douglas cuts his usual shit promo. He’s having a strap match with Billy Kidman. Kidman looks great. Douglas looks one meal away from a heart attack. So of course the hottest woman on the planet, Torrie Wilson, has ditched Kidman for Douglas. It’s a boring match with more atrocious commentary. Madden says “Who cares who wins?” Shane hits something after Madden suggests is and Skiavone says “it’s as if Madden called the spot”. Wilson takes her shoe off and Madden says “She’s turned heel”. It’s insufferable. There’s a ridiculous hanging after. Genuinely could have killed Kidman. Vito makes the save and there’s an honest-to-goodness “Vito” chant.

Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock in a RTOC (Rip off the camouflage) match. They’re two ridiculously hot women and it’s over with the crowd despite the “action” being atrocious. The commentary is again insufferable. This ends with the horrible angle where Hancock holds her stomach in agony. Gunns pins her while she’s holding her stomach during the match but suddenly cares after as do the announcers who go all hushed while Madden is literally open-mouthed. It’s inconsequential but the “rip off the clothes” match ends with a pin.

Sting squashes Demon. Vampiro and Muta come out again and get into it with Kronic leading to an improtmptu tag title challenge.

Lance Storm and his three titles are out next. This is one of the few things WCW did well around this period. He looks a big deal as he gets out of a limo with police escort. They give him a bit of an intro to although, of course, one of the gobshite commentators has to say “He's getting the Goldberg entrance”. Storm gets a mic and at least they don’t try and make him the heel in Canada like vince often does. Again, the commentators don’t point out that him holding the “Canadian title” is a swizz. There’s no emphasis on anything like that. Just constant meaningless chatter. They talk all the way through the anthem. In fairness, this was a WWF trait too for years – no dead air. But the WWF only had two commentators and JR always had authority in his opinion and said the right things at the right time. Here, it’s just a constant drone.

There’s a great pop as Storm announces a special ref. “We want Bret”. It's Jacques Rougeau and the air goes out of the room. WCW have a genuine star on their hands so of course, he loses three times legitimately so there can be “shenanigans”. Absolute horseshit. When he wins, and it means nothing, THEN they send Bret out, to his shitty music, to put over Storm with a hug. But he's got to be all "whose side is he on?" about it and it’s just woeful.

The bonus tag title match is up next. Kronic have belts now. Tone says “Your ten match card has a bonus 11th match” as if that’s a good thing. Harris boys interfere and there are new tag champs. Don’t let that breathe, TO THE BACK!

Don’t panic, the worst is still yet to come.

It’s the Goldberg/Nash/Steiner three way. It has the worst promo package in history. Looks like it was put together by a 5-year-old. Goldberg’s music plays twice, but he doesn’t come out. Meanwhile, surprise, surprise, the commentators do not shut up.

The match is crap anyway. Nash nearly blows the step-over-the-top-rope “spot”. Hits a big boot that is atrocious. This is the match with the hideous “Goldberg refuses to take the power bomb” spot. It’s still one of the stupidest things ever written. I didn't even get it at the time, either. He just walks out, tells Vince Russo to fuck off and the commentators talk bollocks. There’s a ref bump and low blow, of course, it’s Russo produced and then Nash wins. Why?

Booker and Jarrett work fucking hard to follow that. Of course, it’s an overbooked mess. Booker wins. The commentary tries to put over Booker but the backdrop is fans leaving in droves and throwing rubbish in the ring. The poor bastard.

Just read through the list of names on this show. Goldberg, Sting, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, Booker T, Great Muta, Rey Mysterio, Juvi Guerrera, Billy Kidman, Lance Storm,Mike Awesome. Add in a ton of fresh, if green, guys and three of the hottest women alive and it’s just impossible to produce wrestling this bad. Surely?

SURELY?

[BomberPat]

I've talked about this show before, but when Ophidian (from CHIKARA) was working for CIWW, we watched this show together, and everyone loved that Canadian Rules match so much that we ripped it off wholesale for our next show, and it's one of my favourite things we've ever done. It was around the same time as this that Johnny The Bull was, for some reason, doing promos about cheese sandwiches (?!), so we started incorporating the word "cheese sandwiches" into promos, or saying it in-ring to try and make each other corpse. We're probably the only promotion in the world to have watched New Blood Rising and thought, "we need to get us some of this!".

The heel ref making up rules as they go along is a personal favourite trope of mine, but it's peak WCW madness to do it as a "Canadian Rules" match, with a Canadian heel, in Canada. 

If I remember correctly there's maybe one or two clean finishes on the entire show, too. And a match with three special guest referees (on the same show as the Canadian Rules match's guest ref stipulation!), in which the pin is counted by someone else entirely putting on a ref shirt.

[Carbomb]

3 hours ago, BomberPat said:

The heel ref making up rules as they go along is a personal favourite trope of mine, but it's peak WCW madness to do it as a "Canadian Rules" match, with a Canadian heel, in Canada. 

In fairness, wCw had already proven they could turn the crowd heel with their nWo PPVs, so they probably thought they'd do it again.