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(Re)watching Terrible Shows


tiger_rick
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Decided to go back and watch some shows that are generally considered terrible. Some I've seen and some I've not. I started with two I haven't seen. Feel free to add your own experience of the shows or add your own reviews.

No Mercy 1999 - UK version

I've never seen this. Not sure I've seen any UK only PPVs bar One Night Only and Capital Carnage. Remember this one coming up years and years ago on SCG's bad PPV podcast and it's been on my "to endure" list ever since.

Tl;dr: Didn't think it was too bad.

It starts with a promo from Shane McMahon and the Corporate Ministry. They are a running a theme throughout the show. It could be called WWF Corporate Ministry. They are one of my least favourite factions in history but this is a cheap heat promo that sets up the night and doesn't outstay it's welcome.

Tiger Ali Singh squashes Gillberg. Neither has any place on a PPV but the match itself is too short and pointless to offend.

The Ministry are back out for Acolytes and Vis against The Brood (E&C and Gangrel). This isn't bad at all. The Brood do all the work and the big lads from the Ministry throw them about nicely. Bradshaw wins with the Clothesline from hell which was a great finisher. There was much, much worse than this on most PPVs in 1999.

Steve Blackman beats Droz next. This one's a chore, granted. Needed to be about 2 minutes but given the show only went about 2 hours 15 minutes anyway, they had to work somewhere.

Kane and Mideon is ugly. It's barely a match though. More of an angle with the Ministry battering Kane. No-one is crying about that.

Another glorified angle next as Sable announces she's not fighting Tori to good heat and Nicole Bass squashes her instead. This comes hot on the heels of a recap of Sable losing the women's title despite technically winning a bra and panties match against Debra. One of the cheapest title changes ever. No surprise HBK was the one doing the ruling, he's involved in about 8 of their top 10.

Shane and X-Pac is fine attitude era fare. X-Pac gets fucked over by Trips and Chyna but the finish is great. Chyna gets a boot up on the bronco buster and Pac takes it right in the cock. Pedigree and done. Kane saves him from a post-match kick-in.

Mankind then gets a battering from the Ministry during a backstage promo. I think that's his out for losing to Billy Gunn but it's a pretty clean loss for the time. Match is fine. Gunn is Gunn. Foley's not a miracle worker. Crowd are into it enough that doesn't feel like a drag.

Main event is Austin vs. HHH vs. Taker but is pretty much a handicao match with some dissension. It's functional at best but again, this is 1999. It's a poor PPV year for the WWF and on that scale, this is fine. Austin wins, the Ministry try to fill him in and then everyone they've fought on the show comes out for a big brawl to allow Austin to batter HHH and Chyna and shine at the finish. The crowd go home sort of happy.

If i'd paid £20 or whatever it was for this back then, I'd probably have moaned, but for free and in hindsight, it's not too bad. Nowhere near as bad as I've heard. Lawler and JR are good if nothing else. Lawler's done some homework. Suggests at one point that someone's going for a "bevvy". If you factor in the general terrible aging of all WWF TV in 1999, it doesn't stand out as that bad at all.

ECW December To Dismember (2006)

I'd not seen this either. I had no real desire to at the time and never have had since. Figured if I was going to watch shit shows, this needed a look.

Tl;dr: Hilarious car crash.

Hardyz and MnM start out and have a really decent tag match. This is fuck all to do with ECW really and there is little pretence. It's just a guaranteed good match chucked on a PPV that looked dreadful on paper.

Balls Mahoney v Matt Striker. Just read that. Match has some weird rules to make it anti-hardcore as decreed by Striker. The Striker character is not a bad heel in conception but this was already a massive knock-off with little of ECW in it so it didn't really matter. Match isn't completely awful. Just dull. Balls wins.

Angle where Sabu gets taken out of the chamber match is next and results in chants of "bullshit" from the crowd and Bob Holly being put into the match. I've never seen it but read about it extensively at the time and since and this is as bad in conception and execution as it always sounded. Obviously came about as a result of Vince and Heyman clashing but they should have just gone with it for the sake of a tiny bit of authenticity.

Burke & Terkay/FBI and Daivari/Dreamer are house show matches with no meaning. Supposed to bridge the gap between old and new "ECW"? Who knows. I can't remember watching the ECW show at the time - why the fuck would anyone? - so have no memory of any reason for the matches. Dreamer takes a ridiculous bump on the stage from Khali afterwards. Could have broken his back or neck for this shite. Idiot.

Ariel & Thorn vs. Knox & Kelly is the worst thing on the show by some distance. It's really, really poor. Funnily enough, on paper it sounds fucking dreadful so would have taken a miracle to produce the goods.

Last up is the Extreme elimination chamber which is now Big Show (c) vs. Lashley vs. Test vs. RVD vs. Punk vs. Bob Holly. Big Show is an absolute state. He's absolutely massive and looks like Mark Addy. Lifting the belt is enough to have him sweating buckets. Punk and RVD are super over and as a consequence, the first *googles* 12:35 of this match are really decent. RVD batters Holly for the first bit then he and Punk fuck Holly off and have a decent exchange. The booking of the match suggestsLashley is winning this, it always did, but the crowd hold a tiny bit of hope that Punk or Van Dam are winning. When Punk is eliminated by RVD it's deflating but not disastrous. The crowd are puzzled though. Test takes out Holly next to mostly shrugs. Then Test beats Van Dam with, it has to be said, an impressive elbow off the pod onto a chair, and the match dies. More "bullshit" chants.

Lashley is trapped in his pod in some cunning plan but manages to use a wooden table to break the steel chains on the top of the pod to escape. Ludicrous stuff. The action is OK though. Lashley pins Test. Show takes a bump through some plexiglass. Lashley pins Show and is crowned the made man. There is a bit of a pop, in fairness, but mostly the sound of people hating this.

Like No Mercy, this show only goes about 2 1/4 hours and nearly half of it is two decent matches to open and close the show. Without the emotion of the time, again without having spent money on it, it's not as bad as is said. Anyone who coughed up the dough for this has nothing to complain about anyway, it looked dreadful going in. The week to week TV was atrocious too. So little sympathy from me. Though safe to say, won't be re-watching.

Add your own. Add any "recommendations".

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7 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

I can't remember watching the ECW show at the time - why the fuck would anyone? - so have no memory of any reason for the matches.

Even if you had, it wouldn't have helped. One of the reasons this show was so famously awful is that aside from the first and last match, nothing was announced ahead of time.

The Hardys/MNM match was because the Hardys reformed an issued an open challenge, so MNM reformed - Nitro had been feuding with Jeff Hardy, Joey Mercury had been off TV for some six months - for this match. It had absolutely nothing to do with ECW, not even the WWE version of it.

Billy Gunn and Road Dogg were doing their awful Voodoo Kin Mafia shit in TNA at the time, and publicly accepted the "open challenge" before MNM did.

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Ariel's arse was the only decent thing about December to Dismember. Any of the UK only PPV's are worth a watch for sheer horridness. The summer 2001 one that 14 year old me stumped up 21.95 for stands out particularly. Steph or Shane came out at the start and replaced pretty much all the previously announced decent matches with stuff like Albert vs Scotty Too Hotty instead. Even as big a WWF kool aid drinker as I was at the time, I knew I was being fleeced!

Didn't learn my lesson though, as I ordered Rebellion 2002 which had Paul Heyman working in the main event.

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Good idea for a thread. I love a good, shit show. And not in some hipster ironic way either. I use the Network as second screen chewing gum in work and all wrestling's garbage anyway so I'm not always looking to hit those X-Seven highs. 

Some of my favourites:

Capital Carnage 1998 - First video tape I owned. Raucous house show atmosphere, whose who of the grungy 1998 midcard, a fun main event four way brawl with an obscene amount of added corporate bells and whistles, McMahon's weird diatribe on the British empire, Vinnie Jones. 

Superbrawl 2000 - If you're going to go for the worst show of WCW's dying days, this is probably one of the better ones. There's eleven matches so it's got a breakneck pace. A carousel of ludicrous proportions. Everything's just ruthlessly bad but any one thing seems to only last a few minutes, and they hadn't done the mid 2000s gutting of the production yet so it still looks relatively colourful and bright. Hardcore matches, handicap matches, Sicilian stretcher matches, Texas death matches, the Kiss demon and shoot James Brown. 

Judgement Day 2003 - Not the worst, but I remember it being seen as a real low at the time, in a year Raw in particular seemed like it was just turning into latter day WCW. This is really the 2003 WWE version of the above. A lot of inane garbage, but none of it lasts too long before moving on to the next thing, so the whole show has a fun feel to it. Quickfire lay of the land: FBI, Spanky, Steiner & Test, Bischoff and Austin drinking beer and eating hotdogs, Mr. America and Roddy Piper, 2003 Nash. Look out for a fairly cracking Big Show/Lesnar stretcher match that was one of the best of Show's career at the time. 

A truly horrid watchlist, there. 

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Capital Carnage 1998 features Vince's most insane promo, in which he predicts that in the future, the UK will be governed by a "Prime Minister, probably of Pakistani extraction". Bonkers stuff.

If you're going for bad latter day WCW, New Blood rising is extraordinary. Judy Bagwell on a forklift, worked shoots, Great Muta working double duty, multiple guest referees, one match going less than a minute, insane amounts of overbooking, and the CANADIAN RULES match.

It's rare that I actually find bad watching enjoyable to watch, but New Blood Rising is an absolute trip. In an extremely rare example of anyone being creatively inspired by 2000 WCW, a bunch of us watched it a few days before a CIWW show, and immediately got to re-booking our main event to rip off the Canadian Rules gimmick.

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I like New Blood Rising. Like Spring Stampede 2000 and April 10th Nitro, it takes me back to a time when access to WCW was still hard and I had to get stuff from traders. The stuff between Russo reigns was comotose so I actually enjoyed the ADHD stuff on his return. Appreciate it accelerated the death of the company but I'll never not like it.

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Slamboree 2000 - I remember getting this just before WCW folded and they started releasing PPV tapes in the UK with more availability. I got this in a boxset with 4 other WCW events.

Opening with Chris Candido and The Artist. I was never a fan of Candido, and The Artist was just an awful Prince gimmick which was about 15 years too late.I think this was the first time I saw Mrs T aka Sharmell Sullivan.

Next up an awful Hardcore match (did WCW ever do any good ones?) involving Terry Funl, Norman Smiley, Shawn Stasiak and Curt Hennig. 

Next was the debut of Captain Hugh G Rection (chortle) because he no longer wanted to go by his gimmick name of Hugh Morrus. Sigh. He fought Scott Steiner in a match which wasn't completely awful, but only compared to the opening matches. 

Mike Awesome v Kanyon just turned into a mass brawl between the New Blood and Millionaires Club. I always rated Kanyon and wish they had a proper match.

Total Package Lex Vs Buff was pretty awful. Was this the first time Chuck started ripping of Lex's gimmick? Shane Douglas vs Flair was next. Again, another poor outing including a "swerf bro!" of David Flair attacking his old man.

Vampiro vs Sting. These guys fought a lot, and yet I don't think any of their matches were particularly great. Vampiro always had a decent look, but just bang average in the ring. Sting did his best to get something good out of it, but failed.

Hogan vs Kidman  had some crappy spots where he did not want to sell for Kidman. The man who powerslamed Andre can't do the same to Kidman.

Then the famous Triple Cage Ready To Rumble match, based on the concept from a film which had bombed at the box office about 3 months prior. Probably most famous for David Arquette's heel turn and Kanyon being chucked from the cage to the ramp below, trying to do their version of the Mankind spot from KOTR 98 but making it look worse. All in, just an awful event at one of the worst points in WCW's history and I have seen it more then once because there is just something about it, even though it's awful.

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Those Great American Bashes were an awful run. Same with that Smackdown Judgement Day from 2004. I remember the blue brand easily winning those first few single brand shows, then Raw officially became the A show again after WrestleMania XX, they had a draft which gutted Smackdown, and next thing you know Chavo Classic, singles run Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty, and Tazz judging bikini contests were thrown on the cards to make up for time because they didn't have the roster depth to make anything else happen. Dark days, man. 

Edited by Gay as FOOK
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1 hour ago, Egg Shen said:

I aint ashamed to admit it but WCW 2000 PPV's are some of my favorite shows of all time, id rather watch one of them than anything produced in the past 10 years. Gloriously shit.

 

Same.

My only real issue with 2000 WCW is how sad it is to see shows held in smaller and smaller arenas which they often can't even fill.

But if I'm going to watch a three hour show I'd rather it be a ridiculously overbooked clusterfuck featuring stars I actually know and remember rather than something like a modern NXT Takeover show which, while I'm sure is technically brilliant and features some good wresting, I'd imagine that lacks much in the way of stuff I can laugh at or take the piss out of.

Some of my most watched PPV's ever are what many would these days call 'shit', such as Wrestlemania 9, Starrcade 90 etc. 

Edited by garynysmon
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