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Because it's Easter...


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I'm at work today. It's not that busy, and neither is the forum. So let us all get into the Easter spirit with this very important subject.


Imagine the situation.


40 days ago, a mysterious and giant chocolate egg began appearing on camera at WWE shows. A bit like this 


only HD and probably with a load of LED lights on it because it's 2017 and the egg is all Easter-y and colourful.


The egg is not brand exclusive. It appears on Raw and SmackDown alike. It even made it to WrestleMania. Surely it would hatch on the biggest show of the year?

It didn't.

But today, Easter Sunday... that egg's being cracked open and ... someone ... is emerging from it.

Who would you have hatch from the Giant WWE Mystery Egg in 2017?


The obvious answer for me is a return for the Gobbeldy Gooker. But, in a shocking twist, this man hatches instead:



It's KASSIUS OHNO! The tubby bugger was unable to resist a giant chocolate egg and has spent his Lent devouring it from the inside out. His vest top, covered in melted Dairy Milk, has been discarded as the Easter crowd looks on in awe at his impressive gut.

And the Gooker? Unfortunately, Kassius ate him too. Oh no.


He's my pick. But who's hatching from your egg? 

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Mojo Rawley. He'd jumping around like a bellend trying to get everyone interested while everyone is overwhelmed with confusion, boredom and apathy.


Mojo is easily the biggest let down in wrestling right now. Imagine if he had replaced Jericho in that tag match the other week instead of Balor, easily would have been the biggest collective groan in wresting history 

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For the first few weeks I'd have only the feet of my mystery wrestler appear, like Sheldon from Garfield & Friends:


We'd spend hours musing over whether those ankles belong to The Undertaker, Sting, or Shawn Michaels, until our man charges at someone against the ring post and they move out of the way, leaving his shell to fully break on impact, revealing another giant egg known as King Kong Bundy.

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