Numpty Children

[Gus Mears]

What things did you get totally wrong as a child? The kind of thing your Nan would go 'nawwwwhh' about and that you look back on thinking 'I find it impossible that I was that stupid at any point'.

 

I didn't understand the concept of gears in a car for a long time. So, until Dad explained to me otherwise, I used to think you had to a read a giant book which would tell you exactly which point on the road you had to change to a certain gear across the entire country. 

 

I also thought that 'Peking Duck' from down the Chinese was actually called  'Pecking Duck' you know, because duck's peck.

 

I still get the piss taken out of me at Christmas over the first one. 

[MungoChutney]

Whenever I watched old film footage that was black and white I thought the world used be that colour. I've spoken to people about this and it seems it's quite a misconception.

[mikehoncho]

Saying fuck in front of my aged grandparents in their car while travelling along Oystermouth Road in Swansea was a mistake.  I was 5-ish.  My grandfather calmly pulled up outside the large victorian jail on the road, opened the door & ejected me on the pavement outside ... then drove off.  Granted they only drove around the block, but it was enough to cause me to be a tad upset.

[cobra_gordo]

I genuinely believed as a child that people in "the olden times" were actually black and white because in black and white films and old tv footage.

 

EDIT: Same brain malfunctions as MungoChutney.

[Ladiesman345]

I thought Alice in Wonderland was actually called Alison Wonderland. I also thought Steve Winwood's Make Me A Higher Love was bake me a pie of love.

[Keith Houchen]

I couldn't understand why og wasn't playing for England as he scored every week, and for different clubs.

[Ladiesman345]

Just like that famous band "TBA".

[Jazzy G]

I mistakenly thought Guy Fawkes was plotting to blow up prostitutes as opposed to Protestants, much to my mum's amusement.

[Keith Houchen]

I mistakenly thought Guy Fawkes was plotting to blow up prostitutes as opposed to Protestants, much to my mum's amusement.

They're the same thing.

[Lorne Malvo]

When I was around 4 I used to think that a 'draw' in football meant that everyone in the crowd would draw pictures of the players. I was an idiot child.

[Astro Hollywood]

I thought Darth Vader was played by Matthew Kelly, Arthur Fowler's real name was Bill Biscuit, and that urine was stored in the testicles, so whenever I drank more than a child's testicle-sized volume of water, I would immediately think I needed a piss.

[Bus Surfer]

I genuinely believed as a child that people in "the olden times" were actually black and white because in black and white films and old tv footage.

 

EDIT: Same brain malfunctions as MungoChutney.

Yup, add me to this too.

 

Also as a very young kid, I was convinced only boys did poo's. It was unthinkable to me that girls would do that.

[ninevisions]

I knew that PM was short for Prime Minister so I assumed MP was short for Minister Prime.

[WyattSheepMask]

I used to think of you were relegated from the GM Vauxhall Conference you went into the Scottish Premier Division because that was the order the results were read out on Grandstand

[Gus Mears]

 and that urine was stored in the testicles, 

 

 

See, I thought in a somewhat similar vain that you were only ever able to reach orgasm twice in your life. One for each bollock.