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HarmonicGenerator

Post of the Year 2017

124 posts in this topic

I have always, always assumed, believed and maintained that Angelina Jolie smells like bins, and I don’t think a spray of Chanel Grand Extrait would do anything to cover it up.

And I also reckon when she bends over, the view of her badge would resemble that of staring into a half drank pint of Guinness.

 

This gem from the "Celebrities Who Stink" thread by Scott Malbranque ... nice one Branquey, had me chortling out loud in the IT Suite.

Edited by mikehoncho
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Harry Wiseau's 'embarrassed by wrestling' story tickled me:

 

The worst one for me was in a music class in school in 1990. that Christmas I'd been enrolled in the WWF Fanclub as a present and I don't know if any of you were in said Fan Club but if you were you'll remember that as part of the membership pack was a cassette about 10 minutes long of various wrestlers theme tunes. Aaaaanyway, it was my first year of senior school and in the first music lesson we were told that we could for the first few weeks bring in music to play in class while, so excited at the possibility of impressing my new classmates I took the WWF tape with me and gave it to the teacher. The lesson started and she staretd playing cassettes by everyone, just a song or two off each one, I seem to remember Unbelievable by EMF and Size of a Cow being amongst the songs played but I may be wrong, then she said "and this is Harry's tape" followed by a few seconds of silence in which I suddenly realised that this might not have been such a good idea then the "shooba shooba shoobafwaaaa" introduction to Superfly Jimmy Snukas theme tune started, by the third "shooba" everyone in the class was looking at me and if not laughing at least sniggering. I could feel how red my face was, through nerves I started laughing but I didn't manage to calm any of them down, it was such a horrible feeling, if my balls had dropped by this point they would have rapidly gone back inside to hide. Two minutes of that followed by two minutes of Jake the Snakes really rather dull theme tune followed with laughs and sniggers continuing throughout "it's ok" I thought not quite holding back tears but really wishing I'd been hit by a bus instead of making it to school that day "it's the Ultimate Warriors theme next, that'll get everyone on my side even if they don't like wrestling" then at the end of Jake the Snake she said "thank you for that Harry, here's Felicity fuckwits Iron Maiden cassette she has brought in for us" 

 

it was horrible. horrible, horrible, horrible, I can still see their faces now, i'll be on my deathbed wired to machines and drips and that will be the image that comes back to me before I finally am allowed to expire from this cruel, cruel life.

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