Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 19, 2016 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 19, 2016 There's one toilet at work where, if you visit any time after 10am, will invariably have skidmarks all the way down it. I can only assume it's the same bloke having these morning shits because it's too frequent to be coincidence. Ā Anyway, I can't use a toilet cubicle to shit if I know for sure that someone else has already used it to shit. Just can't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 I'm alright going for a wee jobbie but I can't pee if someone's standing at one of the other urinals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 It's amazing how simultaneously comforting and unsettling it is when you sit down on a warm toilet seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 I go to the disabled loos a a matter of course. Don't have to worry about the noise of someone else shitting, rarely bedevilled sideboards and a nice high seat. Ā Walked out once to see a man in a wheelchair looking at me disapprovingly . All I could was smile politely and run away before he discovered that I'd Hiroshima'd the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 I hate using the toilets at work now, as its a shared room with three cubicles and two urinal which are really close to each other for some reason. Ā The old office used to have independent washrooms, you could do what you liked and relax a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doog Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Aye we have one disabled toilet in our bit at work. We dont have any disabled people in our department so its widely accepted that this is the shitting toilet Ā Ā Nice big space, decent seat and no one can hear the noises. Got it pretty good. Still a bit awkward mind when you pop out.after 10 minutes and theres a few people having a chat outside in the foyer but oh well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 Do I win a fiver or something? Ā Only if you post a photo of that bloke kissing that birds arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 19, 2016 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 19, 2016 (edited) This might be the place to share the story of me feeling horribly ill on arriving in London last month, and rushing to the toilets in St Pancras (because you don't have to pay for those) and just destroying the inside of that toilet with the most horrifying shit. Once I'd recovered, I then found out how eco-friendly and energy efficient those toilets were, because they barely fucking use any water when you flush. There's shit all over the inside of this toilet and it just isn't going anywhere. After many attempts to eliminate it without blocking the thing with masses of toilet paper, I have to give up and leave the cubicle only to find the cleaner standing just outside, waiting to get in. I've never ran away from something so quick.The worst thing was, after making my escape, my first thought was "this'll make a decent story the next time there's a thread about pooing on the UKFF"... Edited August 20, 2016 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 (edited) I'm moving to a whole different type of 'shit' here, but instead of going to the pub and watching football, I'm spending today driving half way across the country to go to my least favourite relative's birthday BBQ. Ā Racist Uncle John. Why an 83 year old desires a BBQ when it's pissing down, who knows. Though this is a man who banned his wife from buying a certain type of curtains 'because they look too Chinese for Southampton'. Thank fuck I'm not actually related to this catastrophic thundertwat. Edited August 20, 2016 by Gus Mears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 Haven't seen a thread for it anywhere so can i safely assume it isn't just me that thinks the Olympics is mostly boring shite? Thought I'd bump this as it's the only time I've seen the Olympics discussed on here. Have to say, I totally disagree- I've been hooked over the past week and a half. Ā It's been a brilliant games so far and GB have been superb. We're on course for our highest medal table finish (2nd!) since god knows when...the 1940s perhaps? And we've won medals across 14 different sports, 4 more than our closest rivals. This will be our most successful games away from home and we have a good chance of ending with more medals than London 2012. Absolutely remarkable achievements for GB this year. Ā Even away from the GB glory you've got some memorable stories. Bolt completing an unprecedented third gold medal hat-trick, Phelps cementing his status as the most decorated Olympian of all-time and the rest of the men's American swimming team acting like frat pricks by making up a story about being robbed at gunpoint. Ā Bring on 2020! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 I was talking to my Mum yesterday about Bolt and she said he probably won't do the next olympics as he won't be at his best. In true fan fashion I said it'd be shit because then nobody could end the streak. I meant it too, give the rub to some new up and comer, take silver at the next olympics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 You know what they're like at the Olympics though. They'll probably just end up giving it to someone who doesn't need the rub, like Jessica Ennis-Hill or Daley Thompson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 (edited) Yeah, I'm going to miss this Olympics when it goes. Channel 4 just won't devote the time to the Paralympics like they say. It'll be full of ackward studio bits like that last Paralympics was. Edited August 20, 2016 by bAzTNM#1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted August 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2016 You know what really fucks me off? Companies that have staff meetings in the middle of the shop floor during opening hours. Ā intu Victoria Center (with their wanker lack of capitalisation) are awful for it. There'll be 20+ members of staff stood right in the middle of the shopping center that are not available to customers. They do it right next to the seating area too (or occasionally across the top of the wheelchair ramps. I bet that creates some Ricky Gervais style hilarity) but if you're in that seating area and you glance in their direction, you're met with frowns and "A little privacy, if you don't mind?" scowls. Fuck off. If it's so private, do it away from the public. Ā In McDonalds yesterday they were having a meeting right in front of the fucking counter at 11am, so customers had to awkwardly navigate themselves around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 20, 2016 Moderators Share Posted August 20, 2016 I have never seen that. That sounds pretty ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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