Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted August 19, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 Have bathroom, will shit.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 There's three traps in our toilets and I've been in there when all are occupied and it is legitimately, dead up, like the Mexican stand off at the end of Reservoir Dogs. You hear some initial niggling aggro from everyones pipe (your few squeakers escaping and what nots) but once one person finally relents and opens up, it's fucking havoc. An absolute massacre... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 I won't be nervous to poo next to someone, but I don't go out of the stall at the same time as them because I don't want to look a person who I just shat with in the eye. Exactly, especially at work. So you get this Mexican shit-stall standoff. You don't want to know who's just had a shit, likewise you don't want your colleagues to look at you knowingly that you've just curled one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 (edited) I can't shit if there's someone else shitting, so I'll hold it until I'm alone or until somebody uses the hand dryer. Ā There's an obese chap in work who has made a habit of sitting in the next cubicle to me no matter how many other stalls are free. I know it's him because of the heavy breathing from walking up the few stairs to get to the toilets, and then the utility belt he removes which takes forever. I swear one side of that belt has a different time zone to the other. Ā Anyway, once he's sat down he ruthlessly unloads. Absolutely no care in the world, just millions of plops and comically loud farts. If it wasn't so disgusting, it would be admirable. Ā Of course, when he anticipates it's going to be a particularly bad evacuation and sprays Febreeze before the poo, you'd better wipe up and leave pretty sharpish or your clothes will smell of his breakfast for the rest of the day. Edited August 19, 2016 by Slapnut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 Exactly what it is guys. 3rd floor has 1 stall, 2nd has 3. 3rd was busy so I had to run down to the 2nd and there's someone already in there and my gut is burning. I broke an actual sweat holding it in and he just sat not doing a single thing. I had to run back up to the 3rd and thank god it was empty because I'd have actually shit on the floor. Shit Chicken at work is the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 There's three traps in our toilets and I've been in there when all are occupied and it is legitimately, dead up, like the Mexican stand off at the end of Reservoir Dogs. You hear some initial niggling aggro from everyones pipe (your few squeakers escaping and what nots) but once one person finally relents and opens up, it's fucking havoc. An absolute massacre... Ā This is wonderful and absolutely spot on for my workplace too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 I'm a shy shitter too. Went to the bogs with a work pal a few years ago. I just went to the urinal for a pee but he went in, sat down, dropped the world out of his arse and talked to me all the way though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted August 19, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 Had a cunt of a workmate a few years ago, who switched to working from home when we moved offices. He would figure out who was in the toilet stall when he was using the urinal, and try to initiate a discussion with them, which legitimately sometimes started "how about them <local sports team>?". I once told him that it wasn't the time when I was evacuating a batch, but my much blunter workmate once told me he just told him "fuck off, Bill". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 Guys, I'm a millionaire. In Indonesian money. I'm still counting it. Also, what's all this squat toilet business about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 19, 2016 Moderators Share Posted August 19, 2016 Well impressed if you're posting from a squatter.. that's some toilet A-game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 (edited) Well impressed if you're posting from a squatter.. that's some toilet A-game.If he is, he's about to find out the hard way where the true difficulty lies. I pray he's got a holeside table. Edited August 19, 2016 by King Coconut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladiesman345 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 More shit talk on Britain's favourite wrestling forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 19, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 19, 2016 (edited) Have you ever been on the phone while using your arse fire-hose, Chest? Edited August 19, 2016 by Gus Mears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 19, 2016 Moderators Share Posted August 19, 2016 UK faeces forum represent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 I used to work with a deaf guy, the guttural bellows he emitted whilst pinching a loaf will haunt me till my dying day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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