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Facebook updates that blow your mind


SpursRiot2012

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According to Facebook the most efficient way to steal a dog is to go to a house when the owners are out and leave a chalk mark ( like a 19th century vagrant) then come back at a later date and steal the unsuspecting mutt. Not to take it there and then. That would be far too easy.

Despite this being the most retarded way to steal anything ( and being well documented as a pretty obvious urban myth) it's now taken on a life of it's own on my feed and is being supported by all sorts of 'my friend found a chalk mark this morning) anecdotal evidence.

 

 

I saw that too. First thought that it was most likely nonsense. Speaking of dogs, one of my Facebook friends moved in with his gf and she owns a Bulldog. He seems more keen on the dog than he is on her. He's obsessed! Constant pictures of the dog and shares of dog memes. I've nothing against dogs but my God, when people say the British like their dogs, they're not lying.

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According to Facebook the most efficient way to steal a dog is to go to a house when the owners are out and leave a chalk mark ( like a 19th century vagrant) then come back at a later date and steal the unsuspecting mutt. Not to take it there and then. That would be far too easy.

Despite this being the most retarded way to steal anything ( and being well documented as a pretty obvious urban myth) it's now taken on a life of it's own on my feed and is being supported by all sorts of 'my friend found a chalk mark this morning) anecdotal evidence.

 

 

I saw that too. First thought that it was most likely nonsense. Speaking of dogs, one of my Facebook friends moved in with his gf and she owns a Bulldog. He seems more keen on the dog than he is on her. He's obsessed! Constant pictures of the dog and shares of dog memes. I've nothing against dogs but my God, when people say the British like their dogs, they're not lying.

 

Not gonna lie, I love my dog.  I have an Instagram account, and it's basically just pictures of my dog chilling out

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According to Facebook the most efficient way to steal a dog is to go to a house when the owners are out and leave a chalk mark ( like a 19th century vagrant) then come back at a later date and steal the unsuspecting mutt. Not to take it there and then. That would be far too easy.

Despite this being the most retarded way to steal anything ( and being well documented as a pretty obvious urban myth) it's now taken on a life of it's own on my feed and is being supported by all sorts of 'my friend found a chalk mark this morning) anecdotal evidence.

 

 

I saw that too. First thought that it was most likely nonsense. Speaking of dogs, one of my Facebook friends moved in with his gf and she owns a Bulldog. He seems more keen on the dog than he is on her. He's obsessed! Constant pictures of the dog and shares of dog memes. I've nothing against dogs but my God, when people say the British like their dogs, they're not lying.

 

Not gonna lie, I love my dog.  I have an Instagram account, and it's basically just pictures of my dog chilling out

 

 

My dogs got his own facebook account (which I hasten to add is nothing to do with me) and has way more friends than I have. At Xmas I had to go to the post office to pick up loads of presents he'd been sent from all over the place, even stuff from the states!

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This one is doing the rounds. Apparently the toerag is some celebrity over here.
I never heard of the cnut though.
 

https://www.facebook.com/647305061992822/videos/912227398833919/

 

It's causing a lot of discussion in the office over whether she was right to put him on trial by social media. I think she was. Fuck him...

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It really is a tough one domestic violence.  It's a terrible thing, but one that can be proved neither one way nor the other  (unless there is evidence like CCTV, but there's not too many homes who rock that..).  I once had a girl pull a knife on me, I restrained her, I now have a criminal record because she had bruises.  Must be horrible for the police to deal with in that sense..

Obviously, if this is really a genuine case of domestic violence, then yeah, fuck him. 

 

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Apparently there are groups of 'foreign men' wandering around and watching kids.

 

So far they've been seen

- in the kids clothing section in ASDA buying clothes with no kids with them

- in a van outside a chippy which happens to be along from a school

- in a park

 

 

The 'piece of paper on the windscreen' has started popping up again.

 

Apparently I'm a killjoy if I link to Snopes and it's still worth sharing just in case.

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Apparently there are groups of 'foreign men' wandering around and watching kids.

 

So far they've been seen

- in the kids clothing section in ASDA buying clothes with no kids with them

 

Yeah, I've been getting this one up in Glasgow. It's normally a big group of Asian men in the kiddie clothes department looking shifty. Fed up with it.

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What's the. 'Piece of paper on a windscreen' thing?

 

So guys have to have their kids with them at all times if they buying clothes for them?

To quote the greasy man, "this country!"

 

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/carjack.asp

 

You get into your car to drive away and notice something stuck to your windscreen - flyer/note/money/etc. You jump out to see what it is, leaving your engine running and suddenly car jackers attack!

 

But they're FOREIGN MEN.

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I've got a relative who is mega in to Herbalife, to the point they give their toddler the bloody protein shakes and power bars because its betterfor them and all natural products (dont get me started on that level of shitty logic parenting)  Their facebook updates are continually selfies of them in their herbalife hat/hoodie/workout top saying how great and amazing and healthy they feel, and how grateful they are for their amazing life followed by about ten hashtags.

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Sounds like a typical front to me. Anyone that bangs on about how amazing life is, the chances are they're chronically depressed.

 

Still, protein shakes for the kids? I don't think I'm down with that.

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