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DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult


Devon Malcolm

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93 was a bloody good innings. RIP.

Very true. Much like Christopher Lee you knew it was coming sooner rather than later but it feels like a certain era of British actors is coming to a close, even if Macnee hadn't worked for a while.

 

John Steed is the only character I'd ever consider dressing up as for fancy dress. I still wouldn't, but I'd consider it.

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Terminator Genisys : It’s really quite remarkably shit.

I don’t know what got into James Cameron, or how much money he was paid, to spout that shite he spout recently on youtube pertaining to Genisys, but it really is Rise of the Machines levels of fucking dreadful, and that is being harsh on Rise of the Machines.

I didn’t mind Salvation. I thought it entertaining, yet instantly forgettable, but this...this had me fucking stewing all the way home. I realise I see a lot of movies for free so I can’t complain about wasting money, but I genuinely felt I wasted two hours of my life. Not since Open Water or The Life Aquatic have I felt that strongly opposed to the preceding two hours, while walking out of a cinema.

 

It starts strongly, and suitably dark, but then descends into almost self parody and at times plays like one of those Epic/Scary/Disaster Meet the Spartans Movie when the film hits full on comic mode.

Jai Courtney is a horrendous actor and the worst possible choice for Kyle Reese. Why is he Kyle Reese and why is Kyle Reese pumped up and jacked to the gills? Michael Biehn (and Yelchin’s) Kyle Reese was somebody who was confused, nervy, personable and scared everyman but brave with a psychotic glint when the time called for it. This cunt is Jai Courtney playing John McClane Jr. Why they couldn’t have gotten Anton Yelchin – who kind of looks like Biehn and played the part in Salvation like he was – funnily enough – Kyle Reese, is beyond me, but they need someone who’ll put snail/slug trails on seats, and Courtney – acting ability be fucked – is that man.

Very angry, very bitter and don’t get me fucking started about the ending.

Edited by Scott Malbranque
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I was on the fence about seeing it, the trailers really did nothing for me and your review has just swung it for me, I'll stay well clear.

 

On another note I finally saw Fury Road the other night. I want to live inside George Millers brain. It was just wonderful. First time in years I've seen a film and wanted to watch it again straight away.

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Is that still on at cinemas or has it reached dvd already ? I'd love to do see it but my local multiplex is too bloody loud as it is so I can see it being a painful experience.

Edited by Vamp
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Agree with Chokey there. If you can see Fury Road on the big screen, take full advantage. I seen it twice in the flicks and another two times through...alternate means, but it's really worth your time in the flicks with both bollocks out.

It's no gimmick. George Miller really is a mastermind.

 

I'm on a shitter at the moment. Watched Lucy last night. I'm all for smart sci-fi, but this didn't know what it was doing, on any level? One minute it was a Leon/Limitless hybrid and then within minutes it descended into some Interstellar/2001 farce.

And all we need to know about fucking humanity - the meaning of life - fits on a poxy usb stick?

 

All I want is a fast paced, brain at the door action thriller that I haven't seen yet. Or a good heist flick, coz I'm worn out.

Is Pawn any good? Has anyone seen Pawn? Anyone?
Is Transsiberian any good? Has anyone seen Transsiberian?
Can anyone recommend me a good thriller where my pots will be gone for it's duration?

 

Edited by Scott Malbranque
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All I want is a fast paced, brain at the door action thriller that I haven't seen yet

 

Homefront with Jason Statham was far more enjoyable than I expected it to be. I believe it was originally meant to have Stallone in the lead but he passed it to Statham as he was aware he was too old. Nothing groundbreaking but a decent beer & kebab flick.

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Is Pawn any good? Has anyone seen Pawn? Anyone?

If Michael Chiklis speaking with a Cockney accent is your thing it's the best film ever. The fact that that's the only thing I remember about it is probably not a great sign.

 

Edit*

Here's my comments on here from when I watched it a year ago, it seems the Cockney accent really was the only memorable thing.

 

I just watched a pretty by the numbers robbery thriller called Pawn it was about a group of bandits robbing a diner and the only thing of note about it was that Michael Chiklis was playing a Cockney in it and his accent was great (which is really rare), I can only imagine at one point they were hoping for Statham and that's what they ended up with, he was great, it was like Hollywood's version of a Mitchell brother.

Edited by Call me Bellend
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I saw Terminator Genisys last night.

 

The Terminator is my favourite film of all time and I think Terminator 2 is the best sequel ever, I strongly dislike T3 and Salvation.

Genisys is comfortably the third best Terminator film and also the third worst Terminator film.

 

Watching it was like listening to the Pixies or Faith No More comeback album, you know it will never, ever be as good as the old stuff, the best you can hope for is it can exist alongside the first two without disgracing them and I feel it accomplished that. It could never be as good as the Cameron ones, but for what it was which is a 4th sequel over 30 years removed from the original, made by different people in a time where films are completely different I managed to enjoy it quite a lot.

 

I went in with an open mind but I did have a niggling feeling it wouldn't be fantastic. It turned out to be a lot more enjoyable than I was hoping, it wasn't perfect by a long shot but how can it be when the original is perfect and said everything that needed to be said? There's so much baggage with the story now and I don't feel like they did a bad job of swerving through it really. Jai Courtney isn't one of my favourites at all and he's a long way off from the dirty, haunted, tragic Reece Michael Biehn played but thankfully there wasn't as much resting on him. I feared replacing Linda Hamilton as Sarah with some serious TV buzz casting might make me cringe but Khaleesi was fine for what the film was.

Arnold Schwarzennegger was in it! He had a big role too, I love that bastard and I think the direction they went in with his character and his relationship with Sarah worked.

 

There were obviously a few things that I didn't like, here's a spoiler tagged partial list just in case I'm coming across too positive

 

SPOILER - Highlight the black box to read

I love Just Kidding Simmons (I assume that's his full name, but he really didn't need to be in this, he hardly did anything)

 

The humour and sentimentality was occasionally slightly misplaced, but maybe I'd feel the same about certain parts of T2 where John is teaching the T -800 to speak slang and stuff if I saw it for the first time now.

 

It didn't need young Reece or Reece's flashbacks really, or for Genisys to be a weird ageing hologram child.

 

In summary, Terminator Genisys definitely doesn't need to exist but if you have realistic expectations you might even find yourself not hating it.

Edited by Call me Bellend
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That fact that Arnie is in the movie alone is enough for me to watch it. Although after reading various reviews from other sites too I'm in no hurry to see it. If Schwarzenegger is in a movie you know it's going to be watchable unless that movie is called Junior.

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Plus, they had the original music! Minor gribe is that it was in the end credits instead of the opening, but it was there!

 

My thoughts are almost identical to the poster above. It's a good movie, obviously nothing compared to the first two (my two favourites films ever) some parts were a bit more complicated than necessary, but it still made sense and the two hours flew by for me.

 

Arnie still has it. He's old, but not obsolete.

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It's pretty incredible how charismatic Arnie is in comparison to the rest of the cast. Even CGI Arnie has more about him than Jai Courtney.

 

I too agree with Bellend. Nothing truly awful like Terminator Salvation, but also nothing remarkable either. I also agree about the lighter moments - felt out of place and most of the lines bombed.

 

I do wish they spent less time trying to make the plot seem complicated and more on proper character interaction.

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