Paid Members Dead Mike Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 My mother. Although not a punch, just a big hard massive slap to the face. Because she fucking deserves it. Â You should've been here a couple of months ago...could've got a cool million. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePhenom Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 It would have to be any of the blokes who do Top Gear for me. There's not even much of a reason really, I just find the show annoying and they just really get on my nerves. Perhaps just a quick jab to the honker, on which ever one tries to be funny first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 WHO - My girlfriends brother. WHERE - While he's stood on his imaginary soapbox talking all kinds of bollocks that he thinks the rest of the world want to hear. WHY - Because he's just an ordinary bloke with a wank job and goes about his business like a normal person...BUT... he thinks of himself as some kind of oracle of knowledge where him and his friends pass themselves off as mensa, whilst completely falling flat on their collective arses when someone is bright enough to point out their obvious twattiness. And obviously its wrong to do this because "He's My Brother". HOW - put him in the stocks and pelt him with rotten tomatoes for two hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Who: Prime Minister David Cameron Why: the last 12 months, plus generations of social engineering. Where: the middle of the Stadium of Light pitch on derby day (no real connection, but may as well combine two fantasies, and I'm pretty sure most Sunderland and Newcastle fans hate him as much as I do, so I should get the cheap pop). How: Big Ivan Drago punch, wearing a coalminer's glove (for the nods to both wrestling and Thatcherism). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GalaxyV.2 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Cameron is a great call. At Margaret Thatcher's funeral hopefully, he falls into her grave and we bury two fucks for the price of one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members chokeout Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 Cameron is a great call. At Margaret Thatcher's funeral hopefully, he falls into her grave and we bury two fucks for the price of one. Â An uppercut into an open grave would be awesome, especially if it was followed with them both being taken away by those evil shadow things like Willie Lopez in Ghost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Who: Simon Cowell Where: During the unnecessarily long dramatic pause before announcing the winner of Generic "Talent" Show Why: This cunt has made millions out of saturating our television with "talent" shows, despite having very little discernible talent himself, picking judges who also are not especially noteworthy for being talented, and finally, for picking winners of said shows (or at least engineering candidates to reach the finals) either because they have some sob story or are inoffensive to look at. This prick has done more than anyone else in recent times to bolster the dumbing down of culture and facilitate the rise of celebrity worship. There was a time when most well-known people became such thanks to possessing an extraordinary talent. Watch the movie "Idiocracy". That is where we are headed, and this guy has played a significant role in making that happen. How: Flaming Dragon Punch super combo, Ken style Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 Who? My girlfriends Dad. Why? Because he's a vile, selfish backwards cunt. Where? In front of his wife, because she is such a fucking awful person. How? With a fist wrapped in outwards facing butcher knifes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 For me it'd have to be Piers Morgan because he's pretty much got it coming. His internet trolling is all very entertaining but the fact he's become a massive celebrity and is pretty well liked by a lot of people i know just boggles my mind. Oh and it would have to be a back handed slap to the chops, less damage physically but i think more effective at hurting him emotionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 Shami Chakrabarti. I can't stand her and she has such a punchable face. Just a straight closed fist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Who? Kelvin McKenzie. Where? Liverpool city centre. Why? Because he is a horrible cunt. How? Straight left to the nose, for maximum bloodshed and tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 It would have to be any of the blokes who do Top Gear for me. There's not even much of a reason really, I just find the show annoying and they just really get on my nerves. Perhaps just a quick jab to the honker, on which ever one tries to be funny first. Â Fun story - my dad and uncle were fishing on the Embankment (Nottingham) once, and some young guy comes along and tells them (tells, not asks) to move. Apparently, the place is permitted out to allow Clarkson to walk along the Embankment and pontificate about something. My uncle explained that they have fished there for years, and that the guy could have been more polite about it, to which he was told: "Jeremy wants to walk along here". Â So my uncle informed him that it was either they both get their rod licenses paid for (for two years, Salmon and Sea Trout included), or he would wait for the cameras to start rolling and then lamp Clarkson on camera. I wish I'd have been then in the life position I'm in now - I'd have paid for it, my uncle would definitely have done it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate diggity Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Fun story - my dad and uncle were fishing on the Embankment (Nottingham) once,Totally read that as 'fisting'. I would punch the genie in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted June 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 Hugo Chavez, because hes a cunt. Somewhere very public so the whole world could see it, and it would be a right hook aimed for his eye and nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Mike Tyson. The bragging rights from that would last a lifetime. Plus, he'd have no problems with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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